Inspired Possibility Blog

Where Can You Find More Joy?

1/28/2019

Holy cow! Life can feel so hard, overwhelming, and heavy at times! Everywhere we look there’s something to worry about, something going wrong, something to be bothered by. Heavy! Exhausting… and I’m tired of being so tired by all that’s heavy and what I label to be “wrong.”

So, I find myself wondering where can I find more joy and fun in my everyday life.   How can I bring in lightheartedness and playfulness, even when there are sad and challenging things happening in my own circle and in the world at large? How might I create more beauty and softness around me?

Honestly, I need to take some time to consciously reconnect with what brings me joy, what I find fun. I’ve gotten a little out of touch with the carefree little girl I once was – this part of me that is still here but has been pushed aside for too long. Can you feel your little one alive within you, just waiting to be remembered?

It feels like it’s time for a shake-up and time to at all aspects of my life. The old habitual “things” and ways aren’t doing it right now. It’s time to look at my daily practices. It’s time to look at how I spend my time and who I spend time with. It’s time to notice how I am showing up and asking what I’m bringing to the party. For sure, what I put out is what I will attract. Misery loves company. But I don’t want more misery. I want joy! I want fun! I want to laugh and play!

How are you doing with your joy?
How about you? How are you wanting to feel? What do you want to attract into your world? Is it time for a change? Maybe you, too, have gotten in a rut and feel ready to mix things up a bit.

What is it that brings you joy, delight, laughter, lightheartedness, and fun? Take a moment and find a quiet place to sit with this question and see what bubbles up for you.

How can you plan for a little of this each day? It’s great to have vacations, retreats, date nights, and these types of peak experiences, but let’s make it simpler… In this season of darkness, how can you bring some light and beauty into your home? In this time of worry, what gives you reason to hope? Can you tap into that? In a time of sadness, fear, or despair, where can you find a little joy?

What might be possible if you had a little more delight and a little more hope?

Please share with us the ways that you find and create joy, fun, playfulness in your life in the comments below so that we can get some new ideas that we might try when our own are getting a little stale!

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If Not Now...

7/19/2018

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There is a beautiful song by Carrie Newcomer called “If Not Now” that has been playing in my mind a lot lately (and in my car because it’s on my playlist and I love it). I love the way it reassures me that though there may be trouble, we will come together “to make the change we can.” I love how it reminds us that “we may never see this moment or place or time again,” which gives me pause.

It gives me pause because surely we will never see this moment again.

It reminds me once again (because somehow I seem to forget) that really all we have for sure is this moment. What’s already happened is in the past and cannot be changed. What’s to come, we have no idea. Life is plain and simple a series of unknown moments.

“And yet we’ll take the journey, and walk it hand in hand…” (Carrie sings) as we step forward into the next moment. Where that step will take us, we do not know. What will come of the seeds we plant is yet to be determined. And, still we must step and plant, finding faith that our actions and journey matter.

So, what is it that is calling to you right now that you’re putting off or avoiding? Sometimes we feel called to work that our heart knows is right for us but that scares us for one (or many) reasons. There may be causes that you’d like to support if only you knew how. Things you’d like to try but you don’t think you’re young enough, strong enough, or wise enough… If you find yourself feeling scared and excited about the possibility, it’s at least worth exploring.

Is there something you really want to do but you think you can’t until you retire, win the lottery or until the stars align just so? What would it be like if you went ahead and did it now?

Sometimes our stories of how things should beget in our way. When I asked my husband to re-marry me, he thought for a minute and said, “but isn’t it only our 24th?” implying that these types of events typically occur on landmark anniversaries. He’s right, but I wanted that recommitment ceremony then. That was the time we needed something fun to plan for and to look forward to, and we needed to recommit our love to one another within a circle of loved ones. Life had been hard for a long time. There was no reason to put it off for a year waiting for our 25th anniversary. We went ahead and created the event, despite some initial hesitation and concern that we couldn’t find a place or get people to come on a busy day in June. It remains one of the happiest, most meaningful days in our life.

What's Your "If not now...?"

Back to you… Are there relationships that need healing? Love waiting to be expressed? Kindness and compassion being withheld? Trips you long to take but you’re waiting for that one special celebration? A job situation you know is crushing your soul but it feels too hard to change?

I’ve known too many people who put off til tomorrow what they want to do today and then when the long-awaited time comes, they’re too sick or they die before they ever have a chance to experience the joy they were waiting for. Please don’t let this be you.

Two of my favorite mantras are “Why not, why wait?” and “Life is for living now!” I am not suggesting anyone be foolish with their finances or responsibilities, but I am inviting you to seriously think about what you’re putting off. Then ponder what the hesitation is about and see if there’s a way to move toward what you desire. Sincerely ask yourself, “Why not?” and give yourself an honest answer. Weigh out the pros and cons. Play out the scenarios… one where you go ahead and one where you don’t. How do you feel when you’ve said “yes” vs. when you’ve said “no?”

Thoughts? Please share in the comments to let us know what comes up for you in this exploration and if there are any commitments you’re making to yourself right now.

If I can support you through coaching or on a retreat, I’d love to! Check out what's available at Inspired Possibility and let me know if you have any questions.

P. S. Here’s Carrie Newcomer’s song, if you’d like to listen. Maybe now?

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I Never Imagined...

3/29/2017

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Ever notice how life doesn’t always go exactly as planned?? Sometimes it’s far grander that we could have dreamed and other times far more tumultuous than we ever would have thought possible. It’s taken me 50 years to figure out that’s how life is. As much as we want to believe we can control or plan it, the majority of life is unknown and unexpected, for better or for worse. As much as we long to be able to prepare for it, we often can’t.

For instance, I never imagined that I’d be going to Texas next week on a book tour with a book I never imagined I’d write. I knew I would write A book one day. In fact I had two others already started when I attended the workshop where this one emerged. I just never would have envisioned the one that actually came through me.

I also never imagined that out of my darkest days, the truest, strongest expression of myself would arise; that I would really come to discover and know myself through the toughest times of life. I would never have imagined how many people this is true for.

I never imagined that it would take a drop-down drag ‘em out fight with life to learn how vital self-care is. I never imagined that slowing down and really replenishing oneself would allow for more creativity than any amount of pushing or driving ever could.

I never imagined the teachers who would show up in my life – at just the right time (though why I didn’t imagine that I don’t know!). I never imagined the outpouring of love and support that is available. I also never imagined having friends and colleagues all over the globe.

I certainly never imagined I would one day be considered an “entrepreneur” and have a business doing work that I love, supporting other people to honor and express their authentic selves. And, yet here I am… working with people who find themselves in lives that they never imagined.

So, because I know that I don’t have any super powers that others don’t also possess, all I can figure out is that at some point I must have been able to begin to imagine what might be possible. All creation begins with a thought, and out of imagination, inspired action springs forth. It isn’t about striving or wishing for something.

As Thich Nhat Hanh says in You Are Here: Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment, “What you are looking for is already in you...You already are everything you are seeking.” When we realize this, it’s easier to settle into a space of noticing and being with what arises within us.

We get inklings all the time of things that want our attention or energy. We get little clues about work that wants us to step up to it. We have ideas that excite us. We get intuitive hits that something or someone is right for us. It’s as if there is an internal switchboard lighting up within us all the time – if only we are able to notice.

The question is – what do you do in those moments, with these lights? Do you say, No way… not me! or I can’t take this on - surely this must be for someone else? Or do you take a step along the path, daring to dream, that maybe, just maybe this might be the thing for you? Do you trust to reach out to the person you’re feeling drawn to? How do you discern what to do in this moment?

What’s calling to you right now that you might really like to pursue? Do you have the energy and resources to go for it? What might you dare to imagine and where might it take you? I imagine you considering your possibilities.

Please share with us in the comments below…

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The Power of Gratitude

10/18/2016

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“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ~ Melody Beattie

We are heading toward a time of year in America where many of us turn toward gratitude and reflecting on what we are thankful for… at least for one day.

But, what if gratitude were a much more frequent practice in your life? What would the benefit be?

I have been practicing gratitude regularly for at least the past couple of years, and I share my gratitude with my friends via Facebook daily. Why do I do this? Certainly not to flaunt the “perfect” life I do not have, but rather to make sure I take the time each day to reflect and to find the good, even amongst the muck. Gratitude is a form of mindfulness and a piece of self-care. It is taking time to notice and to honor what's here.

What a regular gratitude practice offers is a way to get out of the brain’s natural tendency to focus on the negative - what went wrong, what we didn’t do, what we don’t like, what we could’ve/would’ve/should’ve done, or what might go wrong next time. Gratitude takes us to a place of appreciation for what was, for what IS. It allows time to reflect on what went right, who or what lifted us up or filled us with joy, or what part of our humanity and experience we can acknowledge today – even if it’s tears, really feeling sadness fully, or letting ourselves be grumpy.

Gratitude does not have to be about sunshine and rainbows. In fact, gratitude is great medicine in the dark days, helping us to lovingly be with ourselves in our current reality. It may help us to see a tiny glimmer of light where there might have seemed to be none. Gratitude doesn’t change the circumstances, but it helps us remember that life is multi-faceted, and even in the hardest of times, there are still things to honor and appreciate.

Gratitude is a practice that helps recondition us to begin looking for things we appreciate – in ourselves, in others, in our experiences, and in life’s day-to-day. As we notice there are things to appreciate, we may shift our perspective of life, or we may simply find a little more peace in accepting what’s real in this moment. Gratitude seems to stretch our heart (think of the Grinch), and soften our spirit into a more gentle way of being.

It is a simple but powerful practice – you don’t need to light a candle, sit on a special cushion, take a ton of time, or enter into it with any sort of ceremony or ritual (though you certainly can if that makes you happy… and grateful!). It can be done anytime, anywhere. It can be done openly – it’s a rare and wonderful gift to let someone know what you genuinely appreciate about them from your heart. Or, it can simply be a silent internal process. It can be written, thought, or said out loud – all are equally powerful! You may keep a gratitude journal, and begin or end your day reflecting in it. Morning, noon, or night… or simply in the moment when you feel it, find gratitude. Soak it in and let it fill you up – for one breath, one brief pause, or for a longer period of time.

What might work for you? Try something out. And, give it a try on days that are really hard, and notice… What impact does it have?

Do it on the days when Hallmark isn’t in your face telling you to be thankful. Try it out in as many ways as you can! Make a game of it – stick with some form of gratitude practice for at least 21 days, and see if there’s any shift in your attitude, mood, perception, or experience of life. And, let us know!
Offer it freely – to yourself and others. Why not start now? What are 3 things you’re grateful for right in this moment?

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Can You be OK, Even When “Things” Aren’t?

5/3/2016

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Life happens. And, let’s face it, life’s happenings aren’t always pleasant, fun, or even comfortable. Sometimes, life’s happenings are painful, unpleasant, or un-fun. If we’re honest, they are always uncertain.

I was asked recently, “How are things?” and I found myself pausing and answering another question. My reply: “I’m doing really well.” Because “things” right now are very uncertain, sad, scary, and bordering on crisis. I didn’t want to focus there.

Instead, I wanted to focus on the strength, calm, clarity, and courage I have cultivated and drawn on, even in the midst of such troubling times and “things.”

How often do we find ourselves swept away by the story of the chaos, the confusion, the drama, and other people’s stuff, unable to find our own footing and ground in the middle of all of that? It happens quickly and easily, often without any warning or time for us to notice. It happens to all of us, and it can take us down quickly and deeply.

Or, we can catch our breath, take a look around and remember that we are not victims of our circumstances. We can notice what’s real for us, feel what we feel, let that be OK, and still choose whether WE are OK or not. And if we’re not ok right now, can we let that be OK for now? If we’re not OK, how long will we stay in that space? Maybe we have no idea, and we simply choose to take things one moment, one breath at a time.

We will choose whether this instance will empower us, emboldening us to reclaim our stand, set boundaries to honor ourselves, or not. We will choose whether to be caught up in someone else’s net or to find a way to stand beside them or far away from them so that we can stand our own ground.

Sometimes it doesn’t seem possible or even right to be OK when someone we love is suffering or struggling. We have a preconceived notion that a “good mother” or a “good friend” or “good partner, community member daughter, son”… (fill in the blank) should not feel OK if someone else does not.

But, when you think about it, the best thing you can do for everyone is build up your own reserves, take really good care of yourself, find the truth and integrity that comes from knowing your own needs and honoring them the best way you can. Only then can you possibly show up to love or support another. Only by being there for yourself first, by finding a way to be “OK” (whatever that looks or feels like in that moment – for it will surely change) can you have anything available to give to another.

As they say, “Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.” And, choose to be OK, even when things aren’t. They often aren’t and we often miss out on life we don’t need to miss out on wishing and hoping and waiting for “things” to change, rather than changing ourselves and how we show up.

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Life is Precious

2/16/2016

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Recently I have been reminded of the preciousness of life in many ways. These wake-up calls to the impermanence of life come up regularly, and we remember for a short time. Then we so easily slip back into business as usual. And, yet, the urgency never leaves. The urgency to live life now. To remember that this is not a dress rehearsal or a step toward something greater than this moment. This is it – our only guaranteed moment is the one we are in right now. Today. This moment. Now is the time to live, to love, to show up to all that you are, to let your light shine. Why wait?

In the past week in my very small circle of awareness:
- a baby enters the world in timing that is considered “too early”

- a young girl, barely into her teens takes her own life, far too soon, robbing herself of any possible tomorrows or a better future

- an older teen learns to feel the pain of a friend who’s lost his sibling and finds a little more love and appreciation in his heart for his own family

- a young man loses touch with his worth and steps back on the path of self-sabotage, numbing the pain in the only way he knows

- a great man who has humbly walked among us asking “How may I serve?” leaves his body prematurely and joins the angelic realm

- a mother mourns the unimaginable loss of a murdered child and begins her own long, tenuous, and tortuous healing journey

- A mother loses herself briefly, drowning in her child’s pain, and then finds herself again, remembering her strength, purpose and passion that goes beyond parenting. She shows up to life once again, ready to create and be all that she was born to be, all that she can be.

Most of this is happening only in my periphery, and yet it touches my heart and wakes up my soul. I am left to remember that none of this is for me to judge, question, or change, but only to be with.To trust. To love.To forgive. To find compassion even when it feels impossible. It’s been quite a powerful week…

Everywhere in every moment, this cycle of life rolls on… birth, death, re-birth. We cannot control it, no matter how hard we try. We cannot stop it. We may never understand it or be ok with it. But, we can miss a lot if we keep on trying to fix, figure out, and control stuff that is not ours.

What we can do is commit to ourselves to stand for life – today we commit to show up to the world as the most authentic version of ourselves in every moment. For when we show up in truth and authenticity, grace follows. As we release the struggle and resistance to what “should not be,” we free ourselves and open to broader perspective and new possibility. How might you show up today? What do you stand for? Where can you let go a little and free yourself in the process?

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An Extraordinary Life

9/28/2015

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Recently a friend commented to me that I have quite an “extraordinary life.” Hearing that hit me with a familiar sting… a long-held belief that I need to hide or apologize for the life I’ve created. Shame over being “spoiled,” for having a great husband, for being able to do work I love, and for making time to honor and care for myself. But as I thought about it some more, I realized that yes, I do have an extraordinary life, even while it’s not all roses and sunshine by any means.

Some parts of my life are not at all what I would like them to be, and in another conversation a friend could easily be saying, “Oh, poor you. How do you survive?” Most of the time I not only survive, I thrive, because I choose to focus on the big picture, and overall life is pretty damn good. And, I don’t need to apologize for that. In fact, I need to claim it because I have created this life.

Yes, I am lucky to have an amazing husband who supports me in all that I do – that too was a choice I made/we made. A choice to date and marry him, to invest in our relationship during the dark moments, and work on the partnership we’ve had for 30 years, and to recommit to him in front of 80 friends and family for the rest of my life. He wasn’t handed to me on a silver platter at my birth, and we didn’t get to where we are today without commitment, work, love, humor, and a willingness to draw together in tough times.

I have an extraordinary life and I truly believe that an extraordinary life is available to each of us, whether you have an amazing partner or not. In fact, I believe you probably have an extraordinary life right now, even if you haven't seen it that way.

Life doesn’t always go the way we planned it to. “Bad” things happen to us and to people we love. Dreams we’ve held forever don’t come true or shatter all around us. Stories of what family should look like may be more fiction than truth in our world. Our work and financial life might not look like what we’d love it to be. And, always, always, always we have a choice about how we respond and what we do with life. The chain of choices and responses leads to today’s reality.
How many times do we quit before the miracle can occur? There are no overnight sensations. Things don’t happen as quickly or in the way that we’d like, so we walk away discouraged and distraught before things even have a chance to get rolling. We listen to the harsh inner voice that questions and challenges us with a nasty voice that says, “You’ll never make it – what were you thinking?”

How often do we let despair take over and wash away hope? When things look and feel daunting, overwhelming, and totally out of whack, this is an easy place to succumb.

How often do we live in the past, dwelling on regrets and “could’ve,” and “should’ve” wishes that didn’t come true? Alternatively, how much time do we spend worrying about the future – what might be? Fretting about things that might never come to pass? Drifting away from what is real right now takes us down roads that don’t serve us in creating what we want. We must first stand solidly with what is true today.

How often do we hold back rather than take that stretch, follow our heart, take a risk, or dare to try something new – something we’ve never done before or even imagined we could? If we never ask for what we need or want we don’t stand a chance of getting a “yes.”

In order to change today’s reality and to begin to chart a different course, something has to change in mindset, action, or both. As Einstein said, it is insanity to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

Hard times come to all of us. My “extraordinary life” is not without struggles, sadness, heartbreak, and loss. I feel them and at times they take me down and out. But these aren’t the places I choose to stay overly long.

There have been plenty of things along that way that could have stopped me in my tracks and there are things now that could consume me and take me off course if I let them. None of this “extraordinariness” came to be overnight, and it certainly didn’t come without effort, commitment, decisions, and baby steps along the way that have brought me to today.

What would an extraordinary life look like for you? What is extraordinary about your life right now, exactly as it is? Sometimes just noticing things differently creates a new "reality." Is there one small step you might want to take today that's a bit different?

One powerful practice to living an extraordinary life is gratitude – noticing the good and beautiful in your life, the things you may take for granted and forget to appreciate, and finding something to be grateful for, even on the days that really suck.

How you see your world is a powerful influencer for what comes next. If I were to choose to stay in the dark, wallowing in what I don’t like about my life right now, it’s not very likely that I’d go on creating the life that I want for myself for the next 50 years.

Life experience + Choice = Life Reality

Are the choices you’re making the ones that will create the reality you yearn for? Choice can be action or perception - both powerful forces.

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Forward>>

Where Can You Find More Joy?

If Not Now...

I Never Imagined...

The Power of Gratitude

Can You be OK, Even When “Things” Aren’t?

Life is Precious

An Extraordinary Life

About me...

Archives

Categories

Where Can You Find More Joy?

If Not Now...

I Never Imagined...

The Power of Gratitude

Can You be OK, Even When “Things” Aren’t?

Life﻿ is Precious

An Extraordinary Life

About me...

Archives

Categories

Life is Precious