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Do You Treat Your Cell Phone Better than You Treat Yourself?

2/20/2015

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A friend recently reflected on the tender loving care she gives her cell phone, making sure its charge never gets too low, and I can so relate… when mine gets to about 50%, I find a plug and get it back to 100% as soon as possible.  How often do we do this for ourselves? 

We tend to treat our precious bodies and spirits as if they have an endless supply of energy that will allow us to go-go-go without breaking down.  Why do we think it’s a luxury or indulgence that is taking time or money away from life when we care for ourselves? Why do we feel selfish when we put ourselves at the top of our priority list? 

Self-care has to be the foundation for all else – it is what will sustain us to do what we want and be all that we want to be.  I deeply know this to be true, and I’m just getting good at figuring out what self-care means to me.  I know that my body, brain, and spirit are much better off when I take time to honor me and to care for myself with the same loving attention I give my technology. 

We are better partners, parents, friends, and workers when we lovingly give ourselves a little time to slow down, tune in to our inner guidance.  No need to produce anything.  No labeling ourselves as “lazy.”  What’s made us great may be our downfall if we’re not careful.  It’s important to prioritize and provide for the things that fuel us and build us up.  We don’t want to push and drive so hard that we die before we get to enjoy what we’ve worked so hard to create. 

I don’t mean to be dramatic (or maybe I do), but this is important – in our society we push ourselves to physical, mental, and emotional breakdown far too often.  It just doesn’t have to be so. 

How can you create one tiny shift in your day to recharge yourself? To plug yourself back in to your energy source? Where can you create a little self-love, compassion, gentle nurturing space for you and for what you need?  Can you give yourself permission to do this without guilt or shame? 

If you’d like to give yourself the gift of a weekend of self-renewal and learn more about how to integrate self-care into your daily life, please join me at the upcoming Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat, February 27-March 1. 

“Learning to attune and respond to your needs and desires – practicing self-care – impacts every aspect of your life.  Nurturing yourself is not selfish – it’s essential to your survival and well-being.” 
~ Renee Trudeau, Nurturing the Soul of Your Family


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Pause...

1/6/2015

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I’m writing a somewhat different New Year’s message than most, and I write it as much as a caution to myself as to anyone else.  I am an avid learner. I am committed to my own growth and the growth of others.  And, I can easily overload myself with more input than I can possibly take in in this lifetime!  Pause – stop – take a breath – reflect – tune in before you sign up for every program to make you a “better” person, entrepreneur, partner, etc…  Before you commit to lose weight, get in shape, organize everything in your life, earn six figures (preferably in the next 6 weeks), slow down and evaluate.  Is this right for me?  How is my time and energy best spent?  How much time and energy do I really have?  How much input can my brain handle and how much do I really want to give it? 

What do I most need to feel enriched, fulfilled, energized, supported, and on track for MY goals, for what’s truly most important to me, not what every ad is shouting at me that I need.  It’s overwhelming and it’s way too easy to get swept up in the energy of self-improvement that is like a tidal wave after New Year’s day. 

The truth is each day, each moment holds the promise of potential and possibility.  So, take it easy as you find your own way to your true happiness, fulfillment, and success. 

Maybe other people’s goals aren’t yours.  Maybe what you need is more down time, more time for true renewal, or more special time with those you love.  I encourage you to pause and really listen to your heart, your wisdom that knows what’s best for you.  Take some time to consciously, mindfully commit to putting energy, time, and money into those things that will really nurture, excite, and support you to be the best you. 

You don’t need to be a “better person” as one ad I heard says – you simply need to honor yourself and make space for the best version of you to emerge. You will find this in silence, in reflection, in pause rather than in reacting to frenetic pleas that all tell you you aren’t good enough as you are. 

When you do feel a strong pull from within to something, pay attention, impose your own urgency and get going.  Because it’s right for you.

You don’t need to be fixed.  You aren’t broken.  You are enough. Exactly as you are right now.  Free yourself from others’ messages, expectations, and judgments so that you can truly discern what works for you. 

What would your ideal day, week, month, year look like?  Who would be part of your world? How would you spend your time?  What movement does your body really enjoy?  What foods nourish and energize you?  What practices restore and renew you?  Who fills you with joy and inspiration? 

Rather than being pushed by shame and guilt to change or remove what you don’t want or don’t like, let yourself be inspired by what you want to bring in, what you want more of, what fills you up so that you can let your light shine in 2015!  Pause.  Start here.  

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Three P’s that can be Show-Stoppers 

9/10/2014

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We started our discussion last month by looking at ways we quit on ourselves and now it’s time to further explore the
topic.  Today let’s look at three P’s that can get in our way: Procrastination, Perfectionism, and Pushing too hard 

1. Procrastination - putting off til tomorrow what we could do right now!  This is a big one, and it’s an easy one to fall into with so many excuses readily at hand:  “I’m too busy.”  “I’m not ready. I need to do one more thing first..”  “I'm tired!"  All of those things can be legitimate reasons for not starting something, but if you find them coming up too often and keeping you from moving forward on things you really want to succeed at, take a closer look.
                 
To overcome procrastination is not rocket science – get started!  One baby step a day beginning TODAY!  What is one thing
you can do today to move you forward on a goal or project you’ve been avoiding?  If your area is physical fitness, maybe you start by planning healthy meals for a day or for the week and then go grocery shopping so that you have the right food on hand.  (OK, that’s 2 steps – you caught me… so, plan today, shop tomorrow).  If it’s to write the next best-selling novel, begin today by starting to write for ½ hour or ___ number of words or pages.  
                  
By breaking big, overwhelming things down into manageable, bite-size chunks that we can handle, we are often able to get unstuck and get moving!  
 
2. Perfectionism – closely linked to procrastination in that it can be one of the main reasons we don’t get started.  For example, “I’m not willing to begin until I know it’ll be perfect.”  Unless I know I will lose 10 pounds, I’m not going to exercise,” or “I’m not going to join the gym until I can do the exercises and look great.”   Resonate with anyone??  I’ve been there and
I have learned to move past this one pretty well as a “Recovering Perfectionist.”  Sometimes good enough is good enough, and it’s certainly better than no action at all. 
  
Perfectionism also gets in the way when we beat ourselves up if things didn’t go as planned, it doesn’t look just right, or we had a slip-up. To beat perfectionism, begin with a practice of being gentle and loving with yourself.  How would you support your best friend or a child when they were afraid to try or they were sad that they had made a mistake? Give yourself that same tender love and care.  Accept yourself and acknowledge the effort you put forth, even if it didn't feel "perfect."  
  
3. Pushing too hard or working all the time – We live in a world that seems to value the notion of being really busy.  We
hear it all the time… “I’m so busy.”  “I’m completely stretched this month – maybe we can meet for lunch in December.”  Behind this lies a challenge with managing time and setting priorities so that what truly matters most to you fits into your schedule.  If I fill my calendar with meetings, I have no time for actually doing the work I need to do, for workouts, or for my own learning, growth, or fun. 
                  
We fail to make ourselves a priority because it feels “selfish” or “less important” than tending to everything else and everyone else’s needs. There is something heroic in being a martyr and taking on the burdens of the world. And, we end up drained, depleted, and unable to sustain this pace.  In the end, not only do we suffer, but so do those we’re trying to be a super hero for.  
                 
The antidote: Scheduling your time so that you and your main priorities get in there first.  Have you heard of the big rocks exercise?  Imagine a vase that you want to fill.  Imagine having big rocks (the major things you want to make time for or get done – things that will leave you feeling great for having accomplished them), pebbles (things that are less important), and sand (things that drain your time and energy). If you put the big rocks in first, you will have room left for pebbles, sand, and even water. But, if you start with the sand and pebbles, you will not be able to force the big rocks in later and will end up feeling frustrated and depleted.  Here’s an article that talks more about this and how it relates to productivity:                 
http://zenhabits.net/big-rocks-first-double-your-productivity-this-week/ 
                  
For you visual learners, here’s a short video about the idea that makes it pretty clear: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6m9WnNdpSw 
                 
Don’t fool yourself into believing that you can be all things to all people.  Don’t fool yourself into believing you should be all
things to all people or that you should do what others want from you or be who they expect you to be.  
            
Begin by knowing yourself, your values, and then setting goals that align with those values.  Get started with small steps, give yourself permission to be imperfect, and make space for the things that are most important to you today.  Start nourishing yourself and making yourself available to the important things in your life.  
                  
Do you fall victim to any or all of the 3 P’s and what have you found works to move you beyond them?  What are you willing
to do differently starting today?  Share your ideas in the comment section below.  



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    About me...

    I am a writer, coach, and teacher, and I love capturing life's many moments through writing, whether that be journalling, blogging, poetry, or essay.  I have always found the written word as a natural way for me to express what lies within.  

    This is the space where we get real.  I will write about my life experiences and things that I find my clients encounter in their daily lives.   

    What's real for you? What would you like me to write about?  Feel free to share with me topics you would like to see discussed and please join in the dialogue through the comment section. Your engagement makes the blog a much richer place to hang out!

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Barb Klein
Inspired Possibility
585-705-8740
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