In order to do this we need to realize the choices we have. What am I in charge of? Me. My actions, reactions, and inactions. That’s all I can control. People will do things around me. Events will happen in my world. And, I am always at choice about what I do with those moments. When I forget that I have a choice and react in a way I wish I hadn’t, my choice now becomes how to respond to the mess I might have made.
What does this look like in real life? Here’s how it plays out in the day-to-day
Self-Honoring – The most important component in being true to oneself is taking the time to develop a really good relationship with yourself. Know what you need to be your best self. Know what your standards, values, and boundaries are so that you can create a life that is aligned with them in any moment. Because life is in constant flow, check in regularly on what you’re feeling, thinking, needing, and wanting and see how you can go about addressing those things. Trust your gut and your heart to guide you to what is right for you in any moment.
This is not about being selfish. It’s not about doing anything that would hurt anyone else. At times it could be about making tough decisions that others might not like. That’s ok.
Know what form of true self-care supports you to be your best and make sure you schedule it in to your life. Without a solid foundation here, you won’t be able to give your all to other areas of your life. What is it that nourishes you? What fills you with joy? What makes your heart sing? What calms your systems and grounds you? What restores, rejuvenates, and recharges you to keep on going? What else comes up for you here as you think about self-care?
Relationships – We get to choose who we spend time with and whose energy we allow into our space – in person and online. We get to set boundaries that determine how we will be treated and what we will put up with. Think about the people you spend your time with. Are your relationships adding value to your life or are they taking energy? Are there lines in the sand that need to be drawn with those you are in relationship with?
Do you have friendships that are fulfilling – those where you lift each other up, enjoy each other’s company, truly care about what’s going on in the other’s life, and celebrate together?
Do your business relationships have a mutual respect, collaborative, supportive energy without threat or competition, and are they rewarding to both of you? Are the communities you are involved in supportive, enjoyable, and meaningful to you? It’s worth reassessing these areas from time to time.
Work – As I learned from Laura Berman Fortgang in my Now What?® coaching training, there is more to life than making money or doing what I’m good at or what I’ve always done. What’s important is whether I get to be who I want to be while I’m doing my work.
Find or create a career that fuels you rather than drains you. I do what I do is because it energizes me and because I love to help others find that energy as well.
Far too many people are having the life sucked out of them by toxic environments. I know I don’t ever want to be one of them, and I hope you don’t either. Life is too important and too short. Find a way to do work that lights you up if possible. If not, at least find work that is energy-neutral (not taking more than it’s giving) that will pay the bills while you do things that light you up on the side.
Physical Self – We only get one body in this life so it’s a good idea to take really good care of it. Learn what foods provide true nourishment and sustenance for your body, not just comfort in those stressful moments.
Believe me, I get stress eating and comfort foods, and I’m learning that the stress reduction is short-term and the “comfort” often leaves me feeling more uncomfortable than when I started eating. And sometimes I succumb anyway, forgive myself, and get back on track as quickly as possible. At least the awareness is there now and I recognize the choice I’m making.
What exercise is fun for you? If it’s not fun, it might not be worth the stress it causes you to think you “should” be doing it! So, really, how does your body love to move??
How much sleep do you need to function optimally? Does your body need to get out in the sun, be in nature, breathe fresh air, glide through water, or soak in the starlit night?
This ties back in with self-honoring because it requires a strong self-awareness and a commitment to take care of yourself in the way that works for you. What works for your neighbor or friend may have no connection to what you need.
The opportunity - I invite you to take time to tune in to yourself. Engage in regular dialogue with yourself through meditation or journaling or daydreaming (whatever works for you) to access your inner wisdom. Be still, get quiet, and listen. You’ll be amazed at what comes to you.
What are you being called to? What are you being called away from? Where are you abandoning yourself and how can you make a change? Pay attention and see how things shift when you begin to honor the wise guidance that you have within you!
Try something new and remember that decisions aren’t forever. You can choose again if you want to.
My wish for you… Be true to you. It’s the best way I know to live an authentic, joyful, peaceful, and impactful life.