Category: Pause

Pressure, Pause... and, Begin Again!

8/3/2020

So many pressures are bearing down on us these days – maybe you’ve noticed!? I’m sure we each have our own flavor, our own personal pressures, and also the collective shared pressures from our country, world, society, and culture. It is a lot. I feel the weight of it… even though I have a great deal of flexibility in my schedule, a great deal of privilege in my life, and a lot of excellent practices to help support and sustain me.

Some pressures come in even from things that feel "good" or inviting… the call of a beautiful summer day to get outdoors and do all the things, use all the toys, do the outdoor work, etc… (you can read my poem, “The Pressure of a Beautiful, Perfect Summer Day” here for more about that).

People asking “What do you have planned for the weekend? What are you going to do?” It wasn’t until a friend texted and asked me “What aren’t you going to do this weekend?” that it hit me how conditioned we are to think that a “good weekend” is one that’s packed with activity, productivity, or a combination of both. We are not programmed to let down, and many of us struggle to even know how to relax.

Then there’s the internal pressure we apply on ourselves… I should be doing something. I’m lazy if I just sit here and read. What’s wrong with me? I know I need to… I have so many things on my list… ______ needs this from me…

Often when we do slow down and let ourselves pause or stop, even briefly, our body lets us know just how tired we are. If we are listening with kindness, compassion, and care, we might just give it a nap or an early bedtime, without judgment. Or we might just give ourselves a sweet time-out.

And then we can begin again… refreshed, renewed, with a brain that now has the ability to think creatively. When we go through this cycle of pressure, pause, begin again, actually allowing ourselves each of those phases, we may be surprised. We may notice that we feel clearer, stronger, and more energized as we face the things we need and want to do.

It takes a lot of awareness and it requires courage to add in the pause in a world that values “busy” and “productive…” I’m here to tell you, there are no gold medals for burning yourself out! No extra stars for pushing through when it’s going to leave you depleted. Abandoning yourself and your needs to do all the things or care for everyone else is not the way to go.

PAUSE...

Stop! Please. Listen to your sweet body, to your racing mind, your lonely heart, your frazzled spirit. What do they need and want?

Pause. Tune in. Listen. And, then honor what you hear by responding. This is the part we sometimes skip – we hear what is desperately needed, but we tell that part of ourselves to just wait or to shut up. Instead, I invite and encourage you to give yourself the same TLC you’d give your beloved child or your best friend. Do what you need to tend to your body, comfort your own heart, calm your mind, soothe your soul. Let your nervous system take a break before you ask it to get on to the next thing…

Then, after you’ve given yourself this little break, even if it is only for 5 minutes, begin again, with fresh energy, fresh life, feeling a little recharged. See if it makes a difference, and let us know by commenting below!

If you’d like to play with this idea, I invite you to join me and my dear friend and colleague, Carol Moon, from Yoga & Wellness with Carol, for a Mini Retreat – Begin Anew! this Friday, August 7 from 9-11:30 AM ET. It’s a great way to end your week, begin your weekend, and honor yourself with a little space for reflection, movement, and pause. It’s a chance to slow down, go within, and pause… It’s a re-set in a sweet and nourishing way. Join us. We’d love to welcome you into circle. If you want to hear a bit more about it, get a sense of us and what we’re creating, please watch this short video! And, if you have questions, please reach out.

Until our paths cross, I’m sending you so much love and wishing you the peace of a pause to balance the pressures of being human.

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What Do You Love?

5/8/2020

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Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

Now wait… before you read on,… pause.   Take a breath. Maybe close your eyes and put your hands on your heart. Get curious. With an open mind and an open heart, ask, with genuine interest… what do I love? Then see what rises up. Be willing to be surprised. What DO you love??

Recently I posed this question to a group of women who may not often think about this, particularly in the context I asked it. Also, I asked it in the middle of a global pandemic at a time when many of us are feeling weary, worried, unsettled, and uncertain. I asked moms of kids who struggle with substance use disorder –what do you love about your son or daughter? What are their best qualities?

Lots of women replied, naming so many beautiful qualities their kids embody, acknowledging that it’s been awhile since they’ve reflected on these aspects of kids who are often associated with pain and struggle. Which was exactly my point in asking the question. Not to pretend that the horrendous experiences aren’t there, but to remember that beneath this disease, there is still a loving, caring, kind, humorous, creative, generous being.

If there is a person in your life with whom you have a challenging or complicated relationship, you might take a moment to consider what qualities you love in this person.

Why am I asking you now at a time when there’s so much we don’t like, so much we are worried, scared, or discombobulated about??

I find it really helpful to remember that the whole messy mix can be true at the same time. It’s not all or nothing, black or white, good or bad. Rarely does life present itself in a neat package despite our mind’s desire to simplify it that way.

We look at what we love, not to erase or to pretend that the painful, uncomfortable, less desirable things aren’t also here. We do this to see that there’s room for it all. That it can ALL be here, at the same time, in the same reality, in the same heart. We don’t have to choose what we hate or what we love, what we’re for or what we’re against, what we want to lean into or what we want to eradicate forever. We can be with it all. You can love the sunshine and warmth, remembering that beach in your happy place, even as you cringe at the snow that is here when it shouldn’t be!

It’s a simple practice to wonder and to notice from time to time. And, so, I ask you, even in your sadness, despair, worry, or fear, to consider, remember or discover the part of you that loves.

Right now… consider, what do you love?

About yourself? What are your best qualities? (let's start here... and, if you go no further, that will be more than enough!)

About the situation you find yourself in?

About life?

About the person or people who challenge you deeply?

What do you love to do? Eat? Experience?

Who do you adore, and what is it about them that you love?

What do you love to be? Do? Have?

Feel into it with all of your senses – what images, thoughts, scents, feelings emerge? What brings a smile to your face or lights you up inside?

What brings a sweet “aaahhhh….?”

For me, a few things that come to mind right now that I love are sunsets; lakes and oceans; “The Grinch;” Snoopy; the smell of a bonfire or fresh-baked bread; sunshine and warm, fresh air; laughter; deep honest connections; the smell of a horse farm and feeling my body sway with a horse; and helping other people light up!

Now, let's be honest... it might be way easier to know what we don’t like, what we wish were different, even what we hate… And if that’s where your mind goes, then start there. When we’re deep in the muck, it can be hard to see out. Then, take a moment and look at the flip side. The opposite of what you hate is likely what you love or what you’re longing for.

Let it all be here. There is no need to jump over the uncomfortable, the painful, the sad or scary to get to the happy, peaceful, joyful feelings. We have the capacity to hold it all in these hearts of ours.

When we can touch in with what we love, we soften, if only for a moment. Something inside of us stirs.   We awaken maybe a long-forgotten spark. We connect with something deep and true.

From this place, maybe we allow ourselves to dream or desire. Or maybe we allow ourselves to simply accept someone else as they are, even with the parts we don’t like or wish weren’t there. Maybe for a minute we are able to see the essential goodness in another person. Maybe we energize ourselves enough to take that next step.

What do you love?

Feel into it. Awaken your heart. And, then please share in the comments and let’s sprinkle some love around today!

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The Invitation and Gift of This Day

4/19/2020

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I have been given this life and this day… let me not waste it on worry, fear, or dismay. Let me greet it as the gift it is and use it wisely – not feeding panic, anger, or judgment. Let me walk gently upon this earth, among these people, bringing love, kindness, and compassion. Let me take all of our well-being as a serious concern and act accordingly. Let me take care of myself, my family, and our home in a way that honors us and all beings. Let me be prepared – but not unreasonably so.
Let me take care of our needs without taking more than I need, leaving others with none.

The time for injustice, inequity, and inequality is over. The time to love and care for one another, for all beings, for the earth is here. Now. How will I respond to this moment? How will we, as a people, respond to this moment in time? How will we stay awake and not return to the mind-numb reality we have been in for far too long?

We can no longer be reckless with our lives, believing we exist as separate from others. No. We have been shown the depth and vastness of our coexistence and interdependence. There is a gift in that if we only remember. If only we respond wisely.

Now is not a time for folly or fight. Now is the time for us to come together, to rise together, to be better than we were before… not by possessing more or earning more or even doing more, but by caring more, by respecting one another more, by loving more. By choosing to look. To see. To respond to the devastation, we have caused to our earth, to our people, to all beings. We have to be brave enough to look and to see. And, then from there, choose and act.

We must not forget when this time seems to be over. We must allow ourselves to be changed in the best possible way by the devastation and destruction of today so that it has not been for naught. There is a gift in this day, and there is an invitation. How will we respond?

What thoughts or insights does this bring up for you? Please share in the comments.

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Go Gently... Please

4/3/2020

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Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

Now is a time to go gently with yourself and with others.   Now is the time for love, for generosity, for kindness and compassion – toward all beings, including you! It is the time to care deeply. It is NOT the time to judge, shame, or condemn others. I see the temptation and suspect it’s going to get stronger as we grow more impatient, frustrated, and weary. And so, I plead with you, please, please be gentle…

March 11th, just a little over 3 weeks ago, marks the day our world changed forever. It was not long ago at all and yet it feels like a lifetime ago… we got the call that morning telling us that the mighty Mom Klein had died. We visited our son (2 days before visits were shut down for the foreseeable future), grateful we could deliver this news in person and share our tears, love, and hugs. I went out to lunch with my sister at a local restaurant and enjoyed a nice meal, and probably another hug or two.

March 12th – with a growing sense of things quickly spinning into something unknown and foreign, I did a radio show with Lori and Keith from Recovery Coach University Radio. With a heightened sense of awareness, we did wipe all the equipment and surfaces with Clorox wipes and mostly kept our distance, but we didn’t yet get how serious this was. We joked about the toilet paper hoarding and shook our heads in confusion… and just to be safe, on the way home, I bought two packs. We affirmed and were relieved by my younger son’s decision to cancel his trip to Florida for Spring Break, even though he is young and healthy… already it felt like the unquestionably right call. Just days earlier I had told him I thought they’d be fine to go…

Things were changing and happening so rapidly and have been ever since. I feel like I’ve been caught in a whirlwind… internally and externally. A blur of news updates, of emails advising of extra precautions being taken which rapidly morphed into “We are closed until further notice…” Cancellations, closures, schools switching to online learning,… more and more erasures in the planner of all the trips, appointments, and events I had coming up. April went from one in which I would barely be home to one in which I will only be home, with no plans. Each day brings with it a swirl of thoughts and feelings as I try to magically predict when this will all be over, fall into despair, perk up at a story of goodness – living within the chaos of it all.

It’s a lot. We must be gentle.

There has been so much letting go… of classes, appointments, events, routines, regular support, fun times with others, contact with loved ones. And, in all this letting go, we are all feeling the weight of uncertainty. Those words “until further notice” land with a dark and ominous tone. They remind us that life is always uncertain – we just usually pretend it isn’t. Somehow it feels extra uncertain right now with so many things being disrupted all at once. The fear is palpable as this invisible antagonist sweeps around the world. As we take in the death tolls, we are faced with our own immortality and the truth that one day those we love will also die. We hope it won’t be alone.

We are ordered to shelter in place, to self-quarantine, or to PAUSE as our NY Governor has called it. For a moment we imagine all that we’ll get done in this time when busy-ness is taken away. But then we feel the weight of it all, and we are reminded of how exhausted we are and that stress takes a toll on everything. We are brought to our knees as we are forced to confront what is truly essential. To re-prioritize our lives – what really matters? Health. Relationships. Life. Love. Kindness. Compassion. Generosity.

All these free offerings?? They are oh so tempting to someone with Bright Shiny Object Syndrome, like moi! The urge to fill in all that usually coveted white space is strong, and I catch myself mindlessly signing up, saying “yes, please distract me from the here and now…” Nature abhors a vacuum, and apparently so do I. Until I reality check and realize my bandwidth is not as wide as my white space – it’s actually much, much less than before.

I remember to be gentle with myself.

I don’t need to do all the things – only those that will really nourish me. I only need to be on the calls with people and in groups that feel supportive. I can skip the rest. This might not be the time to learn a new skill or to focus on business. This might be a time when less really is more. I want to do more less!

Over the past few weeks it has been easy to let this ever-present concern consume us. It’s been easy to get obsessed even when we didn’t intend to. Even if you don’t watch the news (which I don’t generally), the news is everywhere…social media posts, headlines of breaking news at the top of my email inbox and within every single email that comes in it’s there… Coronavirus… COVID-19. We need to be informed, but we don't need to be flooded with input. It's too much to digest.

We see the inherent inter-connectedness of all beings and this both terrifies and empowers us. We are reminded that viruses don’t respect borders, oceans, or walls.

We find ourselves reeling as we ride the roller coaster of emotions in this human experience – feeling our own and the collective fear, overwhelm, sadness, dread, and grief while also being uplifted and inspired by the many acts of compassion, caring, kindness, love, and generosity. This time bringing out the best and the worst in us.

It’s a lot.

We come to realize that we are feeling more tired and less productive than we’d like – not an easy thing to accept in a culture used to driving, doing, achieving, producing, succeeding…   Suddenly we wonder what “succeeding” even means right now.

Now we realize that it’s nearly impossible to find motivation or create from a space of exhaustion and anxiety. So, we surrender to Netflix bingeing, earlier bedtimes, and longer nights of sleep.

This is our new normal, and it’s anything but “normal.” It changes moment by moment, and the only reasonable way to approach it is one moment at a time.

We feel the weirdness of endless disinfecting and keeping our hands from touching our faces. We feel the creepiness in the air as masked figures move together, but apart, averting gazes (as if we won’t really be there if we don’t look at one another), collectively holding our breath – together, but apart.

And we're reminded that in the empty streets what feels like the end of the world is also a reflection of our great act of love, our care and concern for others, our desire to be part of the solution.

It’s. A. LOT!

So, please… go gently into this next day. Into this next moment.

Take breaks – a lot of breaks. Get more rest than feels reasonable.

Offer tender loving care to your sweet self.

Say “yes” to the things that make you happy.

Bake the familiar goodies that comforted you as a child (Betty Crocker Blueberry Buckle for me today!).

Wear clothes and jewelry that feel good. Maybe wear things from places you’ve loved or concerts you’ve enjoyed (today I’m wearing my Albuquerque sweatshirt to mark that I should have been arriving there this afternoon).

Hug a tree. I’m pretty sure that’s still a safe thing to do!

Offer a loving smile to a stranger. Call a friend.

Extend love and compassion freely, often, and wherever you can, beginning with yourself.

Know that we will get through this.

Please.

Go gently… until further notice.

How are you going gently these days?? Please share in the comments below. We can learn from you.

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3 Reasons to Retreat

9/26/2019

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(originally posted 6/10/18)

There was a day when I didn't know about retreats and how powerful they are and what a critical piece of my well-being they would become I imagine there are others out there who also wonder... who haven't yet discovered the magic of retreat. So, I'd like to share with you just a few great reasons to give yourself the gift of retreat, for however long you may take or in whatever form! What are some of the benefits and why would anyone make the investment of time and energy to retreat for a bit?

1. Get out of routine - there's great value in simply breaking the pattern of everyday life - of taking yourself out of your usual habits and routines. By changing things up, we tap into wonder and curiosity about life. We begin to open to new ideas, insights, and creativity. We open our eyes to new perspectives. We see new possibility that we hadn't considered before. We lighten up, let go, and even have fun!! When you break away from the daily routine, there is nothing to fix or figure out. Your mind can truly rest. Aaahhhh... to me, that alone is worth the price of admission!

2. Slow down - We live in a world where go, go, go, is the norm. Demands are coming fast and furious and we find ourselves pulled in so many directions with no relief in sight. Our pace is unsustainable and our to-do list never-ending. But, we don't know how to stop sometimes. This pace is taking a toll on our health and well-being. When we slow down, we calm our mind and soothe the nervous system. Then we notice the beauty of nature, our own body, people in our world. We have to step off the hamster wheel to be with these sweeter things.

3. Quiet the outer noise - Oh my goodness! There is so much coming at us all the time - news, ads, social media, political banter... it's an endless onslaught of noise, opinions, and provocations. You've noticed that, right? Just taking a media break for a brief period of time is super healing and restorative. Imagine room to breathe without your phone constantly pinging in your ear. Step away and feel the sigh of relief and the sense of peace. In this space we begin to listen to our hearts and souls and hear our own inner guidance.

We don't need more intensity - the world brings plenty of that. We don't need more things to do - we have more activities than we can keep up with already. Retreat is designed to be restorative and nourishing.

Why do you retreat? Please join the conversation in the comments and let us know! Together we grow and learn!

Does retreat sound good to you? If you like this sound of this and would love to join a circle of like-minded women who are ready for a little of this retreat sweetness, join us for an upcoming retreat!

At my retreats, everything is an invitation. You are free to rest as needed. Explore the land as you commune with nature or give your body some movement among the trees and hills if that's your thing. Lean into time with yourself. And, rest into a world of no expectation.

I hold our retreat space as safe and sacred - in this space you need only show up for yourself. You are free to participate in the way that's comfortable for you and you are free to share and listen knowing that this is a zone where there is no advising, no figuring out what anyone else "should" do, and no worry that anyone is going to tell you what you should do. This is a place and space to deepen your connection with yourself and to learn to honor yourself more deeply than ever before.

Questions? Let me know! Know someone who would love this? Please share this with them! And, if you're ready to jump on board, you can register here!

"A women's retreat springs from and is about stepping out of your ordinary existence to listen and attune to your truest, most authentic self... It is setting apart time to tend the hearth of your inner life, feed your muse, reclaim your dreams." ~ Jennifer Louden, The Women's Retreat Book

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This Too Shall Pass...

3/19/2019

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What’s your reaction when you hear this message?

I’ve had very different responses, depending on my own state
of mind and what the current “this” is that I know will pass.

These words can bring comfort when I’m facing something difficult. But, they can also feel patronizing or dismissive if I’m deep
into nastiness and can’t even imagine seeing my way out!
Honestly, sometimes I just don’t want to hear it because I want
to wallow for a bit. Wallowing isn't necessarily bad.

The same message can also bring a sense of sadness when I’m
into something that I really am loving and I don’t want to ever
end. Who wants to have that dream vacation come to an end or
know that one day their time with the love of their life will come
to end?
(Check out “If We Were Vampires” by Jason Isbell if you want to have a good cry over this reality).

Nothing lasts forever.

But, in reality, these words speak the truth. Good news, bad news… nothing lasts forever! Even
if we want it to. We live in a temporary state of health and aliveness, and every now and then we
get those big reminders. Someone dies. Someone gets diagnosed. There’s a tragic
mass shooting. A house burns down. You get the idea…
And for a minute we recommit to the urgency of living our life full out!

And, then we forget and drift back into our old habits and ways, perhaps mindlessly going
through our days. Hours and days drift by and we don’t even know where they've gone or
what we've done.

Where there is breath there is possibility.

Where there is breath there is possibility. Where there is possibility there is hope. Where there
is hope there is life. How will you live yours?

What petty things can you let go of? Where can you find some surrender and acceptance?
What priorities deserve your attention?

If you were to embrace the idea that “this too shall pass” what would change for you?
Please share in the comments and let’s all step into this life, accepting this very real human truth
just a little bit more.

If you'd like to give yourself the gift of retreat to slow down in a space that fosters this type of
inner reflecgtion, please join me for one of my upcoming retreats. Our next opportunity is
this Saturday, March 23rd at the Mercy Spirituality Center in Rochester, NY - come and give
yourself A Time to Pause!

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If Not Now...

7/19/2018

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There is a beautiful song by Carrie Newcomer called “If Not Now” that has been playing in my mind a lot lately (and in my car because it’s on my playlist and I love it). I love the way it reassures me that though there may be trouble, we will come together “to make the change we can.” I love how it reminds us that “we may never see this moment or place or time again,” which gives me pause.

It gives me pause because surely we will never see this moment again.

It reminds me once again (because somehow I seem to forget) that really all we have for sure is this moment. What’s already happened is in the past and cannot be changed. What’s to come, we have no idea. Life is plain and simple a series of unknown moments.

“And yet we’ll take the journey, and walk it hand in hand…” (Carrie sings) as we step forward into the next moment. Where that step will take us, we do not know. What will come of the seeds we plant is yet to be determined. And, still we must step and plant, finding faith that our actions and journey matter.

So, what is it that is calling to you right now that you’re putting off or avoiding? Sometimes we feel called to work that our heart knows is right for us but that scares us for one (or many) reasons. There may be causes that you’d like to support if only you knew how. Things you’d like to try but you don’t think you’re young enough, strong enough, or wise enough… If you find yourself feeling scared and excited about the possibility, it’s at least worth exploring.

Is there something you really want to do but you think you can’t until you retire, win the lottery or until the stars align just so? What would it be like if you went ahead and did it now?

Sometimes our stories of how things should beget in our way. When I asked my husband to re-marry me, he thought for a minute and said, “but isn’t it only our 24th?” implying that these types of events typically occur on landmark anniversaries. He’s right, but I wanted that recommitment ceremony then. That was the time we needed something fun to plan for and to look forward to, and we needed to recommit our love to one another within a circle of loved ones. Life had been hard for a long time. There was no reason to put it off for a year waiting for our 25th anniversary. We went ahead and created the event, despite some initial hesitation and concern that we couldn’t find a place or get people to come on a busy day in June. It remains one of the happiest, most meaningful days in our life.

What's Your "If not now...?"

Back to you… Are there relationships that need healing? Love waiting to be expressed? Kindness and compassion being withheld? Trips you long to take but you’re waiting for that one special celebration? A job situation you know is crushing your soul but it feels too hard to change?

I’ve known too many people who put off til tomorrow what they want to do today and then when the long-awaited time comes, they’re too sick or they die before they ever have a chance to experience the joy they were waiting for. Please don’t let this be you.

Two of my favorite mantras are “Why not, why wait?” and “Life is for living now!” I am not suggesting anyone be foolish with their finances or responsibilities, but I am inviting you to seriously think about what you’re putting off. Then ponder what the hesitation is about and see if there’s a way to move toward what you desire. Sincerely ask yourself, “Why not?” and give yourself an honest answer. Weigh out the pros and cons. Play out the scenarios… one where you go ahead and one where you don’t. How do you feel when you’ve said “yes” vs. when you’ve said “no?”

Thoughts? Please share in the comments to let us know what comes up for you in this exploration and if there are any commitments you’re making to yourself right now.

If I can support you through coaching or on a retreat, I’d love to! Check out what's available at Inspired Possibility and let me know if you have any questions.

P. S. Here’s Carrie Newcomer’s song, if you’d like to listen. Maybe now?

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3 Reasons to Retreat

6/10/2018

1 Comment

There was a day when I didn't know about retreats and how powerful they are and what a critical piece of my well-being they would become I imagine there are others out there who also wonder... who haven't yet discovered the magic of retreat. So, I'd like to share with you just a few great reasons to give yourself the gift of retreat, for however long you may take or in whatever form! What are some of the benefits and why would anyone make the investment of time and energy to retreat for a bit?

1. Get out of routine - there's great value in simply breaking the pattern of everyday life - of taking yourself out of your usual habits and routines. By changing things up, we tap into wonder and curiosity about life. We begin to open to new ideas, insights, and creativity. We open our eyes to new perspectives. We see new possibility that we hadn't considered before. We lighten up, let go, and even have fun!! When you break away from the daily routine, there is nothing to fix or figure out. Your mind can truly rest. Aaahhhh... to me, that alone is worth the price of admission!

2. Slow down - We live in a world where go, go, go, is the norm. Demands are coming fast and furious and we find ourselves pulled in so many directions with no relief in sight. Our pace is unsustainable and our to-do list never-ending. But, we don't know how to stop sometimes. This pace is taking a toll on our health and well-being. When we slow down, we calm our mind and soothe the nervous system. Then we notice the beauty of nature, our own body, people in our world. We have to step off the hamster wheel to be with these sweeter things.

3. Quiet the outer noise - Oh my goodness! There is so much coming at us all the time - news, ads, social media, political banter... it's an endless onslaught of noise, opinions, and provocations. You've noticed that, right? Just taking a media break for a brief period of time is super healing and restorative. Imagine room to breathe without your phone constantly pinging in your ear. Step away and feel the sigh of relief and the sense of peace. In this space we begin to listen to our hearts and souls and hear our own inner guidance.

We don't need more intensity - the world brings plenty of that. We don't need more things to do - we have more activities than we can keep up with already. Retreat is designed to be restorative and nourishing.

Why do you retreat? Please join the conversation in the comments and let us know! Together we grow and learn!

Does retreat sound good to you? If you like this sound of this and would love to join a circle of like-minded women who are ready for a little of this retreat sweetness, join us in the beautiful Poconos at the Himalayan Institute for Coming Home to Yourself: A Women's Renewal Retreat August 10-12.

At my retreats, everything is an invitation. You are free to rest as needed. Explore the 400 gorgeous acres as you commune with nature or give your body some movement among the trees and hills if that's your thing. Gather in our circle around the campfire. Check out a yoga class or meditation session. And, rest into a world of no expectation.

I hold our retreat space as safe and sacred - in this space you need only show up for yourself. You are free to participate in the way that's comfortable for you and you are free to share and listen knowing that this is a zone where these is no advising, no figuring out what anyone else "should" do, and no worry that anyone is going to tell you what you should do. This is a place and space to deepen your connection with yourself and to learn to honor yourself more deeply than ever before.

Questions? Let me know! Know someone who would love this? Please share this with them! And, if you're ready to jump onboard, you can register here!

"A women's retreat springs from and is about stepping out of your ordinary existence to listen and attune to your truest, most authentic self... It is setting apart time to tend the hearth of your inner life, feed your muse, reclaim your dreams." ~ Jennifer Louden, The Women's Retreat Book

1 Comment

Just Pause...

2/19/2018

4 Comments

In the wake of another school shooting in the US, I didn’t know what to write this week. The shooting and the ensuing endless arguments of blame that came from it, along with round the clock news coverage, hit me hard. In the sadness, heartache, grief, and anger I’ve been feeling, I knew for sure that I didn’t want to jump over what might be stirring within you. I didn’t want to rush to find a silver lining or lesson or even try to be inspiring.

Then I realized what I could offer is one of the most powerful tools I have discovered. I could offer the power of the pause.

Pause. Stop. Breathe.

It’s here in this stillness you can find some clarity. Here you can find some grounding. Here you can tap your own intelligence and guidance.

A pause is powerful because it breaks the chain of reactivity. It stops the rapid fire keyboarding response to Facebook or twitter posts that have elevated your blood pressure to new heights.

A pause allows you to step back for a moment, to take a breath, and to remember who you are, what you stand for, and to decide what you want to say or do in any moment, particularly the heated ones.

A pause may open you up to new perspective, to new insight, or perhaps a willingness to listen to a differing point of view.

A pause allows you to respond or act more intelligently, more thoughtfully, more likely in a way that aligns with your values and your heart.

A pause breaks the cycle of reactivity. That is definitely something we could use these days. Fewer people launching themselves willy nilly into the spinning frenzy without first calming themselves down a bit - what would that be like?

A pause does not mean you will not speak out or you will not act. Nor does it mean you will not feel anger or sadness. But it greatly improves your chances of speaking and acting wisely. It improves the odds that you will connect with your compassionate heart.

Pause allows you time and space to feel what’s here in this moment. To grieve, to let the tears fall, to let your body ache with pain and sadness, to allow the anger to boil. To allow yourself to be overcome by emotion. Pausing is an act of kindness and compassion - for yourself and for others.

There is very little in life that requires an immediate response. We’ve only been mislead to believe that we need to jump right away. We act as if we do (I know this is a trap I have fallen into many times). Yet when we do, we often only add to the mess, rather than bring forth any sort of helpful dialogue or solution.

Before you take to the streets, pick up the phone, strike the keyboard, or open your mouth, give yourself and those you will interact with the gift of pause.

Whatever you are facing that gets your heart racing - a societal outrage, a problem with a loved one, a challenge at work, losing your job, getting a frightful diagnosis… allow yourself the grace of a pause. See what becomes possible when you do. You will most certainly see a little more clearly.

Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles
and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?”
- Lao Tzu

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In This Moment...

1/29/2018

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Go ahead, pause, breathe, and check in…
In this moment, what do you notice? What are you feeling, thinking, sensing in your body?

Taking a moment to tune in is one of the best ways to bring yourself into presence.

And bringing ourselves into presence is one of the best ways of stepping out of future worry or past regret. It’s one of the best ways to find peace that has nothing to do with anyone or anything outside of yourself.

“In this moment…” is a phrase that has supported me when I otherwise might slip into agitation or concern about something beyond my control. Perhaps “in this moment” has let me see that, in reality, there is very little within my control after all. But, in this moment, I can notice and appreciate what’s here. And let go of what’s out there, beyond my immediate reality.

“In this moment” has supported me and allowed me to surrender… to allow or acknowledge what is really happening rather than slipping into resistance or “it shouldn’t be this way!” (click here if you’d like to see my humorously sideways look at the idea of surrender). Only after I acknowledge what is true can I decide whether there is an action for me to take or not. It allows me to begin to choose how to act or respond accordingly.

“In this moment” deepens my gratitude practice. For example, even when there’s a storm raging outside, in this moment, I take the time to notice and appreciate that I am in a warm house with the love of my life, we are safe and sound, and I can breathe in gratitude for that. Even if there are a million things on my to-do list tugging at me (which there invariably are), if I’m at yoga class I can bring myself back to my practice and appreciate that I am taking the time to strengthen and care for myself.

Even when things are not be going the way I want in my life, I can pause and appreciate what’s here. I can almost always find something to be grateful for, no matter how much distress I’m in.

“In this moment” also allows me to focus on what’s before me right now. What task do I need to complete? (for me right now it’s writing this blog to get out to you!) One thing at a time… no multitasking. Being with what needs my full attention right now. Maybe making a note or two in my calendar for next things that I will get to when their time comes.

How might “in this moment” support you? Give it a try and let us know.

Pause – breathe – bring yourself into presence… what is truly here right now?

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