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Whims, What Ifs, and Wins

4/27/2022

4 Comments

 
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Whims
Oxford Languages defines a Whim as “a sudden desire or change of mind, especially one that is unusual or unexplained.” ("she bought it on a whim")

Reading that brings a sense of delight into my whole being and a smile to my face!  For some I imagine it might bring a different reaction.  However, as I reflect back on my life some of the very best things have happened “on a whim!” 

When I first thought about writing about this word for today’s #AtoZChallenge, I had the sense that the word is considered to be light, airy, and maybe fanciful – something not to be taken too seriously or even dismissed.  How does “whim” land for you? 

I’ll share just a couple of my big life whims (which also land solidly in my “win” column as things that fill me with such joy):

1. Buying my first horse, Sport, a semi-wild 5-year-old, breathtakingly beautiful grey Arab, who was very far from the ideal first horse…and yet, I had to have him.  I could feel it to my core – he excited me, he scared me, I had no idea how to work with him,he was too small and too excitable for the dressage showing I wanted to do.  And yet… my heart and soul knew we were meant to be together. 
     
At the time I was newly married. When I tried to do the logical thing of figuring out whether we            could afford him, it was clear that we could not – there was $16 left before groceries.  And yet… 
 
I was 25.  I had wanted a horse my entire life.  My husband was on board, even though it made no logical sense.  Somehow we found a way.   
 
It was one of the best moves of my life, and I have zero regrets, even though this choice certainly contributed significantly to the pile of debt we had to work harder to get out from under over the years.  You can see this beautiful creature and read our story in The Beauty of NOT being Logical!  Whims are NOT logical! 
 
2. Going alone to Australia for a 2-week writing cruise…  I am not an adventurous solo traveler.  When I could not find anyone to join me for this trip, I was ready to let it go. And yet (maybe these words are a sign of a whim!)… I could feel the longing, the desire, the need to go.  I couldn’t satisfy logical answers about why or what I expected to get.  I had never before agreed  to share a tiny box-like room with a stranger, and I was scared to death.  

And yet… I figured out how to make it happen. New Year’s Eve 2011 sent me off for one of the best adventures of my life.  I met people who are still dear to me. I connected with myself and fed my writer dream (though I still have not written the book that was stirring in me at that time).  Zero regrets.

I do many things “on a whim.”  When I see retreats, programs, teachers, or groups, I often seem to know immediately whether this is a “yes” or a “no.”  Often very big decisions happen on a whim, and in retrospect carry zero regret.  It was on a whim that I applied for and got my last full-time job at a time when I had no thought of going back to work.  Something inside of me knew the time was right to take this leap, even though I was largely unprepared! 

I am grateful my husband shares this spontaneity – most of our moves have been out of the blue, on a whim, and sometimes right after we declared we were not moving.  Actually, I met him on a whim – on a night I had sworn off men forever. 

So, are whims fanciful moves of the airheaded?  Or are they divine inspiration or soul guidance?  I have no idea what the right answer is, but from my perspective they are most assuredly guidance, intuition, knowing, and they lead me to such beautiful richness! 

What Ifs
Often times “what if’s” keep us stuck or paralyzed for fear of what might go wrong.  What if it doesn’t work out?  What if this was the wrong move?  And, don’t get me wrong, these questions live within me even in most of my whims… the bigger the decision the louder the what if!

What if we should wait?  What if that other program is better? What if our hearts aren’t big enough to love another child?  See how analysis paralysis could set in?  Waiting, worrying, looking for the perfect moment, wishing we could have certainty before making a move… we might never do anything! 

The closer we get to the thing that’s most important to the soul, the scarier it can be!  Some of my strongest anxiety has come in when things felt most right.  So strange, but maybe the intensity rouses the part that wants to keep us safe… anything to prevent a big mistake! 

And yet, what if we looked at our what if’s another way?  What if we could connect with the wonder, awe, possibility? What if this actually works out?  What if things are amazing? What if we dared to dream or hope?  These what ifs can pull us forward, even into the scary unknown, riding on the wings of hope and desire! 

Both sides of the what if are always available to us, because as we looked at in the recent post about Unknown and Uncertainty, no one can know with 100% certainty what the future holds.  So, we always have to be willing to weigh the risks, consider the pros and cons, and feel into whether something is a yes or a no for us.  With every excitement there is likely anxiety. 

Wins
When I think about wins, they have nothing to do with material gain, beating someone else out for something, or even necessarily having anything wonderful to show the world.  Sometimes I can’t prove a win to anyone.  Sometimes the win has nothing to do with the outcome and everything to do with how I showed up along the way. 

To me, a win brings a sense of contentment or fulfillment at a deep, deep level.  A win is when I feel in integrity, in alignment with my soul’s imperative. 

The whims I’ve shared here are all wins.  I’m sure there are others that haven’t gone so well, and it’s a win that they’re not coming to mind right now. 
​
How about you?  What’s your relationship with whims, what ifs, and wins?  Please share. 


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4 Comments

The Beauty of NOT being Logical!

12/30/2015

1 Comment

 
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Sport

Recently my husband and I were reminiscing about my first horse, Sport, who I bought about 26 years ago.  It’s a story that by all logical accounts should not have become reality.

Though I had taken riding lessons since I was young and had dreamt of having my own horse (and schemed about keeping it in our backyard playhouse) since I was 7, I was not a seasoned horsewoman.  I had been leasing Misha, my barn’s rock solid beginner’s horse, and loving it.  She was steady, dependable, gentle, kind, and patient – the kind of horse a relative beginner should have!

And then I met Sport, a 5 year old, gorgeous, flashy grey Arab who had recently moved to our barn because only my instructor could handle him.  Most people were afraid of him, so he was afraid of most people.  AND, I chose to overlook all that and fall in love with him and the idea of finally having my own horse!  I was an adult now, and I could make my own decisions!  I wanted him to be my first dressage horse.

Logic says to get a vet check to be sure the animal is healthy and sound.  After I attempted to hold Sport still for the vet, and we bounced from stal
l to aisle to arena with his eyes popping and his legs jumping, the vet pretty directly cautioned me against buying him.  If I couldn’t even handle him on the ground and since she couldn’t even examine him thoroughly and since he was a bit small for me and clearly not the ideal temperament for dressage, then maybe he wasn’t the horse for me. 

Somehow that did not deter me; my heart was running the show, not logic.  My husband asked if we could afford to have a horse.  My “logic” was, “I’ve checked our budget and we shouldn’t be getting by now, and we are… so, why not?”  To this day he doesn’t know why he didn’t argue with me, but he didn’t.  So, I had my first horse!  He was beautiful, he was terrified, he was relatively untrained, I was terrified, and our journey of learning together began.

Early on my instructor, Mel, told me “One of you better find some confidence or he’s going to kill you!”  Now, that was a powerful motivator!  I dug deep to find courage and confidence to ride and train this horse who was afraid of his own shadow and bolted and jumped sideways often and without warning!  Boy, did I develop good balance and a solid seat!  I never fell off of him, and over the years my riding improved and Sport transformed into a dependable lesson horse who carried our young students patiently and gently.  

Had I let logic get in my way at any stage along the way, I would have missed out on the beautiful experience I had with my first horse, my childhood dream, and the confidence and skills that made me a better, more patient and compassionate rider, trainer, instructor, and person.  Sport taught me about patience and unconditional love as well as how to develop confidence where it didn’t seem possible.  So, why not?  What a gift! 

This week I went to bid farewell to Sport who is now 31 and getting ready to cross the rainbow bridge.  Our good-bye brought so many wonderful memories from this chapter of my life flooding back to me. Thank you, Sport. You have brightened my life in a way a logical decision never would have!  

**Disclaimer - I am not encouraging anyone to make financially irresponsible decisions! Only you know what you can and should do with your money.  
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    About me...

    I am a writer, coach, and teacher, and I love capturing life's many moments through writing, whether that be journalling, blogging, poetry, or essay.  I have always found the written word as a natural way for me to express what lies within.  

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Inspired Possibility
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barb@inspiredpossibility.com