Category: Dreams

Celebrating Possibility

7/29/2018

I’ve never considered myself a particularly big risk taker, but as I reflect back on my life, I recognize that there have been plenty of chances taken along the way. Since we can never really know how things will turn out, many possibilities require some degree of courage for us to step into them.

With that said, there are some decisions that feel riskier than others. Those moments when we’re trying something we really aren't sure we can do, taking a chance on our biggest dream, or putting our hearts out there on the line. The times when it would just be easier to go on steadily doing what we’ve always done, what we know works, what feels comfortable…

As I remember moments when I did take a chance, I can feel a huge smile throughout my whole being that tells me these times in my life are a big deal! There is something enticing, magical, rewarding (and scary) about stretching beyond what’s comfortable or known to go for something you really want.

Two years ago today I had one of my biggest, most joyful OMG moments! I was in Taos when I had received a voicemail from my publisher saying, “I have good news about your book…” Since I had just submitted my final approvals a few days earlier I presumed it was moving forward. No surprise there. I’d call him on Monday when I was back home.

But no… that night in the Albuquerque hotel I receive a text from a dear friend: “Your book is ON Amazon! I just ordered it - it’ll be here Tuesday!” What?? I hadn’t even held a copy in my own hands yet! Are you kidding me? Let me tell you, there is something very bizarre about searching for yourself on Amazon and finding your book there! But a few clicks later, and, there it was!!

I can still feel the heart-pounding, shaky, tingly, smiling from the inside out, beaming through every cell of my body feeling as I remember that moment. It was truly surreal and magical… a dream come true! It had taken two years to get to that point and many moments of wondering if I'd ever see that day - doubt, fear, self-criticism... they all could have stopped me at any point along the way.

Today I celebrate that moment because it represents the super-charged joy that comes from taking something that once felt impossible and bringing it into reality! I celebrate it for me and for those around me who I see taking a chance every day. I celebrate the times we step toward a greater goal even when things don't work out as we had hoped. Because at least we have tried.

The opportunities we take often become our most rewarding memories Buying a house, adopting a baby, changing careers, traveling across the world, putting in the proposal you never really expect to get, hosting your first art exhibit, starting a business, retiring, saying “yes” to that first date. These are all decisions that come with vulnerability, challenge, and uncertainty. There is no guarantee of success or happiness, but there is a satisfaction that comes from knowing that you felt the nudge, and you went for it.

Life is full of possibility, so make the choices that make you happy. The ones you know on some level you are meant to take. You should go for the opportunities that bring out your gifts, the ones that bring true joy, the ones that let you shine your light! Life is short. Life is uncertain. So, for heaven’s sake, go for the joy of being fully alive while you’re here! You don’t want to miss it.

Somewhere inside we all know when there’s a chance worth taking. It often comes with a strange blend of excitement and anxiety, although there's no real danger. Give yourself the possibility of finding amazing, unexpected joy, love, or the thrill of gazing at some creation that came about because you said “yes!”

Grant yourself moments of awe as you take in the beauty around you – in the art you’ve created, the vacation you’ve allowed yourself to take, the home you've created, or the loving relationship you dared to let in. Breathe it in – let it nourish your soul! These moments deserve to be scattered throughout your life!

Is there a place in your life where you’re holding back rather than going for something that is calling you? What would help you take that first step?

What chances have you taken and how have they been worth it?

Please join the discussion in the comments below! We love hearing from you.

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If Not Now...

7/19/2018

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There is a beautiful song by Carrie Newcomer called “If Not Now” that has been playing in my mind a lot lately (and in my car because it’s on my playlist and I love it). I love the way it reassures me that though there may be trouble, we will come together “to make the change we can.” I love how it reminds us that “we may never see this moment or place or time again,” which gives me pause.

It gives me pause because surely we will never see this moment again.

It reminds me once again (because somehow I seem to forget) that really all we have for sure is this moment. What’s already happened is in the past and cannot be changed. What’s to come, we have no idea. Life is plain and simple a series of unknown moments.

“And yet we’ll take the journey, and walk it hand in hand…” (Carrie sings) as we step forward into the next moment. Where that step will take us, we do not know. What will come of the seeds we plant is yet to be determined. And, still we must step and plant, finding faith that our actions and journey matter.

So, what is it that is calling to you right now that you’re putting off or avoiding? Sometimes we feel called to work that our heart knows is right for us but that scares us for one (or many) reasons. There may be causes that you’d like to support if only you knew how. Things you’d like to try but you don’t think you’re young enough, strong enough, or wise enough… If you find yourself feeling scared and excited about the possibility, it’s at least worth exploring.

Is there something you really want to do but you think you can’t until you retire, win the lottery or until the stars align just so? What would it be like if you went ahead and did it now?

Sometimes our stories of how things should beget in our way. When I asked my husband to re-marry me, he thought for a minute and said, “but isn’t it only our 24th?” implying that these types of events typically occur on landmark anniversaries. He’s right, but I wanted that recommitment ceremony then. That was the time we needed something fun to plan for and to look forward to, and we needed to recommit our love to one another within a circle of loved ones. Life had been hard for a long time. There was no reason to put it off for a year waiting for our 25th anniversary. We went ahead and created the event, despite some initial hesitation and concern that we couldn’t find a place or get people to come on a busy day in June. It remains one of the happiest, most meaningful days in our life.

What's Your "If not now...?"

Back to you… Are there relationships that need healing? Love waiting to be expressed? Kindness and compassion being withheld? Trips you long to take but you’re waiting for that one special celebration? A job situation you know is crushing your soul but it feels too hard to change?

I’ve known too many people who put off til tomorrow what they want to do today and then when the long-awaited time comes, they’re too sick or they die before they ever have a chance to experience the joy they were waiting for. Please don’t let this be you.

Two of my favorite mantras are “Why not, why wait?” and “Life is for living now!” I am not suggesting anyone be foolish with their finances or responsibilities, but I am inviting you to seriously think about what you’re putting off. Then ponder what the hesitation is about and see if there’s a way to move toward what you desire. Sincerely ask yourself, “Why not?” and give yourself an honest answer. Weigh out the pros and cons. Play out the scenarios… one where you go ahead and one where you don’t. How do you feel when you’ve said “yes” vs. when you’ve said “no?”

Thoughts? Please share in the comments to let us know what comes up for you in this exploration and if there are any commitments you’re making to yourself right now.

If I can support you through coaching or on a retreat, I’d love to! Check out what's available at Inspired Possibility and let me know if you have any questions.

P. S. Here’s Carrie Newcomer’s song, if you’d like to listen. Maybe now?

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What's YOUR Dream?

6/23/2018

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Have you ever found yourself getting swept away in a grand vision or a big dream and suddenly you find yourself falling short?

It happened to me in the past month or so, and it surprised me. I know better, but I'm still easy prey. No matter how much I preach this and support others to NOT do it, I caught myself getting swept up in ambition that wasn’t mine. I was striving to do more, be more, make more, be like people I admire, and live up to what I think other people want for me or expect of me. And, I got really, really out of sorts.

Thankfully, in the wee early morning hours (as so often seems to be the time for these epiphanies!) I felt a clear “Stop! What are you doing!? Why are you making yourself crazy and beating yourself up? What’s true for your heart?”

Once I paused, I was able to recognize that what IS enough for me has nothing to do with reaching millions of people or making millions of dollars. What is enough for me is showing up fully to those I am graced to work with – to touch one life at a time. It’s enough for me to be able to give where I can. It’s enough for me to really appreciate the life we’ve created. My soul breathed a sigh of relief… There you are, she said. Thank goodness you’ve remembered. Settle down now...

It’s so easy to get swayed off course. So many outside voices gratuitously offering their thoughts on what we need and what we should do. Watching other people do what you thought you wanted to do and judging yourself as inferior. For me there was also a story running that went something like this… If you’re not going to have a big business, go on tour, speak to thousands, make a lot of money, then what has all this training,coaching, and retreating you’ve done to support you and your business been about? And, in that moment I unearthed this story that told me I needed to justify all that I’ve done in some way through my business results.

Then the inquiry to get at the deeper truth came pouring in… What if all of the work I’ve done has been to help me be better for myself, for my family, and for those who I am lucky enough to be able to serve? What if it fulfilled my insatiable curiosity and love of learning (and that’s OK)? What if what matters to me most is my family and my home and I no longer desire to go after a dream that would take me away from them a lot? What if it’s enough that 111 Invitations is rippling out slowly, naturally, and organically?

The truth is, for me, it is exactly enough for this moment in time. I am right where I want to be today. I am relieved to admit this to myself and to give myself permission to stop feeling like it’s not enough – that I need to push for more. For today, I’ve landed on what feels right on a deep, deep level. And, that gives me a ground to stand on and a newfound energy that inspires me. Instead of feeling discouraged, I feel alive and excited. Some of my dreams no longer fit, and for now I can drop the burden of carrying them any further.

What are YOUR dreams?

So, how about you? If you stopped trying to be what you thought you should be or what you thought someone else wanted you to be, what are YOUR dreams? Are there dreams you once held that no longer fit you? What would happen if you let them go or at least set them aside for now?

These answers will come from your heart, not your head. I invite you to take some quiet time, place a hand on your heart, and ask. Then listen. Jot down what you hear. And, listen some more. Allow insights to come to you unobstructed. This isn’t the time to edit or argue. Allow yourself to be surprised. See what lights you up from inside, brings you that sigh of relief when you let go of something that is no longer yours, or electrifies you with excitement.

You may find a new sense of energy and motivation that had gotten bogged down in the misdirected efforts of wandering a path that wasn’t meant for you. Lucky you! Now you know, and you can begin anew.

In our culture we are solidly conditioned that more and bigger are better. It’s just not necessarily true. We’ve been told to “dream big.” Hell, I’ve told people that for years, and I still believe it – the important piece is to discern and define what’s BIG for you! Big isn’t necessarily measured in dollars or numbers. Big impact can come through small actions.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~Steve Jobs

The truth is when you speak, act, and create from a place of deep integrity, being true to yourself, following the call of your heart and soul, you will find more peace and joy, and you WILL make a difference. Your being will be happy and fulfilled, and in that happiness and fulfillment, you will have a ripple effect you may not even be aware of! When you come from a place of authenticity, there’s no telling what surprises await. You just don’t have to try so hard to make things happen.

If you’d like to take time for this inner exploration, join us at one of my upcoming retreats. Part of the reason I’m so passionate about retreats is that they give us the gift of time and space to touch in with questions like this. While it is possible to sit with this type of inquiry on an average day, it’s much harder when we’re wrapped up in daily to-do’s, distractions, and demands. Stepping away for a bit, allows our nervous system to let down, quiets the outer noise, allows our hearts to open, and allows our intuition to speak.

If you enjoy writing prompts, you might play with some of these, taking a few minutes each and writing without stop to see what comes through:
- The parts of my dream that are alive and well right now are...
- I am willing to let go of...
- I'd love to bring in more...
- What really matters to me...
- What I appreciate about where I am right now is...

Please share your insights, wisdom, and reflections here - we learn and grow together!

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Softening the Gaze on a Dream

6/23/2017

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Sometimes what we are very attached to as our “dream” house, mate, or job may be more of an imagined illusion than reality. We see and hear what we want to or we create a rich fantasy story around what things will be like with this person, place or role.

We become attached to it, holding on for dear life, grasping what we want to be true. We move forward with blinders that block even the largest of red flags. And, we tell ourselves, over and over, This is the one! I know it! I can feel it!! And, sometimes we entrench ourselves so deeply that it’s hard to find our way out again.

Evidence may even mount that it might be time to reconsider, but we are so married to our idealized view that we can’t (or won’t) let go.

This is really fresh for me right now. Ever since I was a young girl, spending summers on a lake at our family cottage, I have wanted badly (desperately even) to live on a lake. My heart has never let go of this dream, even though most of me has never really believed it could happen.

A month ago I got a hit that it was time to make this move. My husband was immediately on board, and off we went… searching many lakes within a couple hour radius, spending way too many hours online scouring listings, driving hundreds of miles and seeing a lot of junk!

Then we found It (with a capital I!)! And, even though we kept on looking, we kept returning to It. It was unique and charming, and had everything we wanted (minus a few hundred square feet, but we decided we could manage a major downsize at this time). We visited several times and began making plans for our life in this new idyllic lake house. We began purging and cleaning like crazy to get our house ready to sell, and most of our life took a backseat to this venture. We willingly and eagerly poured in most of our time and energy to moving. And, we were excited – so excited to begin this new chapter of our life where we imagined peace, serenity, creativity, and community… We were deeply enmeshed.

Then came the inspection. We expected it to be a formality that would simply move us onto the next phase toward living here. We were even inclined to dismiss some of the findings in favor of the fantasy. But, thankfully, my inner guidance woke me up at 4:30 the next morning and smacked me between the eyes! HEAT! Heat is kind of a big deal here in Western New York!! The inspector had said in multiple ways, that for a variety of reasons we might be cold (as might our pipes)…

The dream came crashing in. First came terror. What had we gotten ourselves into, and what do we do when we’re this far into the process?? Secondly, over a period of time, the sadness and grief of loss for this envisioned future seeped in and hit me so hard that it was almost paralyzing. Everything had been wrapped up in this dream.

Thank goodness my husband and I each have ways to ground ourselves and clear our heads. Letting ourselves be willing to see the truth of the situation allowed us to provide a thoughtful response about the work needed for us to feel comfortable moving forward. We still wanted the house if it could be fixed up the way we had envisioned it to be, though we knew our request was unlikely to be met.

So began the process of letting go of the dream.

When we let go of dreams, overwhelm and disappointment can come rushing in. It is easy to wonder if we have to let go of the whole dream altogether. This happened for me, but thankfully, I’ve realized that the dream itself is not lost. It was just this version of the dream that no longer fit.

The essence of the dream is still there, and now it’s time to move on to find the right package for it.

To do that, we need to tap into the core of the dream. For me, it is the feeling that comes from imagining life on the water that pulls me forward, even when things seem impossibly frustrating.

So, whether it’s a job, a house, or a relationship, sometimes it’s a good thing to have a firm reality check. Is this really what I think it is? Or, do I just wish that it were? When the veil of illusion is lifted, we become free to move forward again. Perhaps toward a better fit.

It may feel like a screeching, twisting, fast-paced roller coaster ride that all of a sudden slams to a halt, and we want to let out a blood curdling shriek! However, it’s better to know now than in January when the fantasy vanishes and your pipes freeze and break. Or 5 years into the job or relationship and your heart breaks.

When we soften our gaze on our dream, we can see it for what it really is rather than being fixated on obtaining it no matter what. We can tune into the qualities we are seeking and look around for them, rather than going after this particular thing like a cat in full body tension, ready to pounce on its prey. This isn’t about survival, after all. It is about finding what will be deeply nourishing. Only from a place of discernment without grasping or clinging can we discover what that might be.

What dream is calling you? Are you able to tune into the seed of that dream or are you being pulled off course by some imagined “it?”

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I Never Imagined...

3/29/2017

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Ever notice how life doesn’t always go exactly as planned?? Sometimes it’s far grander that we could have dreamed and other times far more tumultuous than we ever would have thought possible. It’s taken me 50 years to figure out that’s how life is. As much as we want to believe we can control or plan it, the majority of life is unknown and unexpected, for better or for worse. As much as we long to be able to prepare for it, we often can’t.

For instance, I never imagined that I’d be going to Texas next week on a book tour with a book I never imagined I’d write. I knew I would write A book one day. In fact I had two others already started when I attended the workshop where this one emerged. I just never would have envisioned the one that actually came through me.

I also never imagined that out of my darkest days, the truest, strongest expression of myself would arise; that I would really come to discover and know myself through the toughest times of life. I would never have imagined how many people this is true for.

I never imagined that it would take a drop-down drag ‘em out fight with life to learn how vital self-care is. I never imagined that slowing down and really replenishing oneself would allow for more creativity than any amount of pushing or driving ever could.

I never imagined the teachers who would show up in my life – at just the right time (though why I didn’t imagine that I don’t know!). I never imagined the outpouring of love and support that is available. I also never imagined having friends and colleagues all over the globe.

I certainly never imagined I would one day be considered an “entrepreneur” and have a business doing work that I love, supporting other people to honor and express their authentic selves. And, yet here I am… working with people who find themselves in lives that they never imagined.

So, because I know that I don’t have any super powers that others don’t also possess, all I can figure out is that at some point I must have been able to begin to imagine what might be possible. All creation begins with a thought, and out of imagination, inspired action springs forth. It isn’t about striving or wishing for something.

As Thich Nhat Hanh says in You Are Here: Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment, “What you are looking for is already in you...You already are everything you are seeking.” When we realize this, it’s easier to settle into a space of noticing and being with what arises within us.

We get inklings all the time of things that want our attention or energy. We get little clues about work that wants us to step up to it. We have ideas that excite us. We get intuitive hits that something or someone is right for us. It’s as if there is an internal switchboard lighting up within us all the time – if only we are able to notice.

The question is – what do you do in those moments, with these lights? Do you say, No way… not me! or I can’t take this on - surely this must be for someone else? Or do you take a step along the path, daring to dream, that maybe, just maybe this might be the thing for you? Do you trust to reach out to the person you’re feeling drawn to? How do you discern what to do in this moment?

What’s calling to you right now that you might really like to pursue? Do you have the energy and resources to go for it? What might you dare to imagine and where might it take you? I imagine you considering your possibilities.

Please share with us in the comments below…

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The Beauty of NOT being Logical!

12/30/2015

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Sport

Recently my husband and I were reminiscing about my first horse, Sport, who I bought about 26 years ago. It’s a story that by all logical accounts should not have become reality.

Though I had taken riding lessons since I was young and had dreamt of having my own horse (and schemed about keeping it in our backyard playhouse) since I was 7, I was not a seasoned horsewoman. I had been leasing Misha, my barn’s rock solid beginner’s horse, and loving it. She was steady, dependable, gentle, kind, and patient – the kind of horse a relative beginner should have!

And then I met Sport, a 5 year old, gorgeous, flashy grey Arab who had recently moved to our barn because only my instructor could handle him. Most people were afraid of him, so he was afraid of most people. AND, I chose to overlook all that and fall in love with him and the idea of finally having my own horse! I was an adult now, and I could make my own decisions! I wanted him to be my first dressage horse.

Logic says to get a vet check to be sure the animal is healthy and sound. After I attempted to hold Sport still for the vet, and we bounced from stall to aisle to arena with his eyes popping and his legs jumping, the vet pretty directly cautioned me against buying him. If I couldn’t even handle him on the ground and since she couldn’t even examine him thoroughly and since he was a bit small for me and clearly not the ideal temperament for dressage, then maybe he wasn’t the horse for me.

Somehow that did not deter me; my heart was running the show, not logic. My husband asked if we could afford to have a horse. My “logic” was, “I’ve checked our budget and we shouldn’t be getting by now, and we are… so, why not?” To this day he doesn’t know why he didn’t argue with me, but he didn’t. So, I had my first horse! He was beautiful, he was terrified, he was relatively untrained, I was terrified, and our journey of learning together began.

Early on my instructor, Mel, told me “One of you better find some confidence or he’s going to kill you!” Now, that was a powerful motivator! I dug deep to find courage and confidence to ride and train this horse who was afraid of his own shadow and bolted and jumped sideways often and without warning! Boy, did I develop good balance and a solid seat! I never fell off of him, and over the years my riding improved and Sport transformed into a dependable lesson horse who carried our young students patiently and gently.

Had I let logic get in my way at any stage along the way, I would have missed out on the beautiful experience I had with my first horse, my childhood dream, and the confidence and skills that made me a better, more patient and compassionate rider, trainer, instructor, and person. Sport taught me about patience and unconditional love as well as how to develop confidence where it didn’t seem possible. So, why not? What a gift!

This week I went to bid farewell to Sport who is now 31 and getting ready to cross the rainbow bridge. Our good-bye brought so many wonderful memories from this chapter of my life flooding back to me. Thank you, Sport. You have brightened my life in a way a logical decision never would have!

**Disclaimer - I am not encouraging anyone to make financially irresponsible decisions! Only you know what you can and should do with your money.

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Celebrating Possibility

If Not Now...

What's YOUR Dream?

Softening the Gaze on a Dream

I Never Imagined...

The Beauty of NOT being Logical!

About me...

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