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The Pressure of a Beautiful, Perfect Summer Day

8/3/2020

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​These rare days
When the sun is shining,
The temperature is ideal,
And you know this is a cherished gem…
 
The pull… to do it all.
The conflict between the pull and the tired one
                who says, “I just want to rest,”
Let me savor this day,
                this moment.
Let me not rush to cram in all the things.
Let me allow the day to unfold,
                As it will. 
 
Allow me to savor a sweet nap, receiving sleep into my being,
Savor the melted butter seeping into the warm pumpkin bread,
The sweetness of melon,
The refresh of a cool glass of water.
 
Let me sit on the deck
Listening to the birds,
Watching the wispy clouds,
Feeling the urgency, but letting it stay out there.
Remembering what it was to be on vacation –
With only one week, before clean up and check out.
 
Let me savor the living in this sacred place. 
 
I get to be here, day in and day out.
I do not have to leave tomorrow to return anywhere.
I am home…
                and it is enough to simply honor my tiredeness this day.
 
Sun shining and lake calm do not have to demand
                that I come out and play.
I do not need to wait for the rain’s permission
                to lay low and take it easy.
 
It is a perfectly lovely delight
To merely BE on this day.
To breathe in the fresh air,
To enjoy the sight of boats and jet skis,
Hurrying about,
To allow others their experience of this day.
 
For me… I savor the silence, the stillness,
                the rest.
I let go of the hustle – with gladness.
I am relieved to drop the burden of ambition,
                or expectation,
                or “I don’t want to waste this day,”
                or “I must get this right.”
 
I feel the weight slip from my shoulders
As I simply allow and simply savor

This beautiful, perfect summer day.   

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What Do You Love?

5/8/2020

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PictureImage by congerdesign from Pixabay 
Now wait… before you read on,… pause.   Take a breath.  Maybe close your eyes and put your hands on your heart.  Get curious.  With an open mind and an open heart, ask, with genuine interest… what do I love? Then see what rises up.  Be willing to be surprised.  What DO you love??
 
Recently I posed this question to a group of women who may not often think about this, particularly in the context I asked it.  Also, I asked it in the middle of a global pandemic at a time when many of us are feeling weary, worried, unsettled, and uncertain.  I asked moms of kids who struggle with substance use disorder –what do you love about your son or daughter?  What are their best qualities? 

Lots of women replied, naming so many beautiful qualities their kids embody, acknowledging that it’s been awhile since they’ve reflected on these aspects of kids who are often associated with pain and struggle.  Which was exactly my point in asking the question.  Not to pretend that the horrendous experiences aren’t there, but to remember that beneath this disease, there is still a loving, caring, kind, humorous, creative, generous being. 

If there is a person in your life with whom you have a challenging or complicated relationship, you might take a moment to consider what qualities you love in this person.  

Why am I asking you now at a time when there’s so much we don’t like, so much we are worried, scared, or discombobulated about?? 

I find it really helpful to remember that the whole messy mix can be true at the same time.  It’s not all or nothing, black or white, good or bad.  Rarely does life present itself in a neat package despite our mind’s desire to simplify it that way. 

We look at what we love, not to erase or to pretend that the painful, uncomfortable, less desirable things aren’t also here.  We do this to see that there’s room for it all.  That it can ALL be here, at the same time, in the same reality, in the same heart.  We don’t have to choose what we hate or what we love, what we’re for or what we’re against, what we want to lean into or what we want to eradicate forever.  We can be with it all.  You can love the sunshine and warmth, remembering that beach in your happy place, even as you cringe at the snow that is here when it shouldn’t be! 

It’s a simple practice to wonder and to notice from time to time.  And, so, I ask you, even in your sadness, despair, worry, or fear, to consider, remember or discover the part of you that loves.

Right now… consider, what do you love? 

About yourself? What are your best qualities? (let's start here... and, if you go no further, that will be more than enough!) 

About the situation you find yourself in? 

About life?

About the person or people who challenge you deeply? 

What do you love to do? Eat? Experience? 

Who do you adore, and what is it about them that you love?

What do you love to be? Do? Have? 

Feel into it with all of your senses – what images, thoughts, scents, feelings emerge?  What brings a smile to your face or lights you up inside? 

What brings a sweet “aaahhhh….?”

For me, a few things that come to mind right now that I love are sunsets; lakes and oceans; “The Grinch;” Snoopy; the smell of a bonfire or fresh-baked bread; sunshine and warm, fresh air; laughter; deep honest connections;  the smell of a horse farm and feeling my body sway with a horse; and helping other people light up! 

Now, let's be honest... it might be way easier to know what we don’t like, what we wish were different, even what we hate…  And if that’s where your mind goes, then start there.  When we’re deep in the muck, it can be hard to see out.  Then, take a moment and look at the flip side.  The opposite of what you hate is likely what you love or what you’re longing for. 

Let it all be here.  There is no need to jump over the uncomfortable, the painful, the sad or scary to get to the happy, peaceful, joyful feelings.  We have the capacity to hold it all in these hearts of ours. 

When we can touch in with what we love, we soften, if only for a moment.  Something inside of us stirs.   We awaken maybe a long-forgotten spark.  We connect with something deep and true. 

From this place, maybe we allow ourselves to dream or desire.  Or maybe we allow ourselves to simply accept someone else as they are, even with the parts we don’t like or wish weren’t there.  Maybe for a minute we are able to see the essential goodness in another person. Maybe we energize ourselves enough to take that next step. 

What do you love? 
​

Feel into it.  Awaken your heart.  And, then please share in the comments and let’s sprinkle some love around today! 

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Go Gently... Please

4/3/2020

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PictureImage by Pete Linforth from Pixabay
​Now is a time to go gently with yourself and with others.   Now is the time for love, for generosity, for kindness and compassion – toward all beings, including you!  It is the time to care deeply.  It is NOT the time to judge, shame, or condemn others.  I see the temptation and suspect it’s going to get stronger as we grow more impatient, frustrated, and weary.  And so, I plead with you, please, please be gentle… 
​
March 11th, just a little over 3 weeks ago, marks the day our world changed forever.  It was not long ago at all and yet it feels like a lifetime ago… we got the call that morning telling us that the mighty Mom Klein had died.  We visited our son (2 days before visits were shut down for the foreseeable future), grateful we could deliver this news in person and share our tears, love, and hugs.  I went out to lunch with my sister at a local restaurant and enjoyed a nice meal, and probably another hug or two. 

March 12th – with a growing sense of things quickly spinning into something unknown and foreign, I did a radio show with Lori and Keith from Recovery Coach University Radio.  With a heightened sense of awareness, we did wipe all the equipment and surfaces with Clorox wipes and mostly kept our distance, but we didn’t yet get how serious this was.  We joked about the toilet paper hoarding and shook our heads in confusion… and just to be safe, on the way home, I bought two packs.  We affirmed and were relieved by my younger son’s decision to cancel his trip to Florida for Spring Break, even though he is young and healthy… already it felt like the unquestionably right call.  Just days earlier I had told him I thought they’d be fine to go… 

Things were changing and happening so rapidly and have been ever since.  I feel like I’ve been caught in a whirlwind… internally and externally.  A blur of news updates, of emails advising of extra precautions being taken which rapidly morphed into “We are closed until further notice…”  Cancellations, closures, schools switching to online learning,… more and more erasures in the planner of all the trips, appointments, and events I had coming up.  April went from one in which I would barely be home to one in which I will only be home, with no plans. Each day brings with it a swirl of thoughts and feelings as I try to magically predict when this will all be over, fall into despair, perk up at a story of goodness – living within the chaos of it all. 

It’s a lot.  We must be gentle. 

There has been so much letting go… of classes, appointments, events, routines, regular support, fun times with others, contact with loved ones.  And, in all this letting go, we are all feeling the weight of uncertainty.  Those words “until further notice” land with a dark and ominous tone. They remind us that life is always uncertain – we just usually pretend it isn’t.  Somehow it feels extra uncertain right now with so many things being disrupted all at once.  The fear is palpable as this invisible antagonist sweeps around the world.  As we take in the death tolls, we are faced with our own immortality and the truth that one day those we love will also die.  We hope it won’t be alone. 

We are ordered to shelter in place, to self-quarantine, or to PAUSE as our NY Governor has called it.  For a moment we imagine all that we’ll get done in this time when busy-ness is taken away.  But then we feel the weight of it all, and we are reminded of how exhausted we are and that stress takes a toll on everything.  We are brought to our knees as we are forced to confront what is truly essential.  To re-prioritize our lives – what really matters?  Health.  Relationships.  Life.  Love.  Kindness. Compassion. Generosity.

All these free offerings??  They are oh so tempting to someone with Bright Shiny Object Syndrome, like moi!  The urge to fill in all that usually coveted white space is strong, and I catch myself mindlessly signing up, saying “yes, please distract me from the here and now…”  Nature abhors a vacuum, and apparently so do I.  Until I reality check and realize my bandwidth is not as wide as my white space – it’s actually much, much less than before. 

I remember to be gentle with myself. 

I don’t need to do all the things – only those that will really nourish me.  I only need to be on the calls with people and in groups that feel supportive.  I can skip the rest.  This might not be the time to learn a new skill or to focus on business.  This might be a time when less really is more.  I want to do more less! 

Over the past few weeks it has been easy to let this ever-present concern consume us.  It’s been easy to get obsessed even when we didn’t intend to.  Even if you don’t watch the news (which I don’t generally), the news is everywhere…social media posts, headlines of breaking news at the top of my email inbox and within every single email that comes in it’s there… Coronavirus… COVID-19. We need to be informed, but we don't need to be flooded with input.  It's too much to digest. 

We see the inherent inter-connectedness of all beings and this both terrifies and empowers us.  We are reminded that viruses don’t respect borders, oceans, or walls. 

We find ourselves reeling as we ride the roller coaster of emotions in this human experience – feeling our own and the collective fear, overwhelm, sadness, dread, and grief while also being uplifted and inspired by the many acts of compassion, caring, kindness, love, and generosity.  This time bringing out the best and the worst in us. 

It’s a lot. 

We come to realize that we are feeling more tired and less productive than we’d like – not an easy thing to accept in a culture used to driving, doing, achieving, producing, succeeding…   Suddenly we wonder what “succeeding” even means right now. 

Now we realize that it’s nearly impossible to find motivation or create from a space of exhaustion and anxiety. So, we surrender to Netflix bingeing, earlier bedtimes, and longer nights of sleep. 

This is our new normal, and it’s anything but “normal.”  It changes moment by moment, and the only reasonable way to approach it is one moment at a time. 

We feel the weirdness of endless disinfecting and keeping our hands from touching our faces.  We feel the creepiness in the air as masked figures move together, but apart, averting gazes (as if we won’t really be there if we don’t look at one another), collectively holding our breath – together, but apart. 

And we're reminded that in the empty streets what feels like the end of the world is also a reflection of our great act of love, our care and concern for others, our desire to be part of the solution. 

It’s. A. LOT!

So, please… go gently into this next day. Into this next moment.

Take breaks – a lot of breaks.  Get more rest than feels reasonable.

Offer tender loving care to your sweet self.

Say “yes” to the things that make you happy.

Bake the familiar goodies that comforted you as a child (Betty Crocker Blueberry Buckle for me today!).

Wear clothes and jewelry that feel good.  Maybe wear things from places you’ve loved or concerts you’ve enjoyed (today I’m wearing my Albuquerque sweatshirt to mark that I should have been arriving there this afternoon).

Hug a tree.  I’m pretty sure that’s still a safe thing to do! 

Offer a loving smile to a stranger.  Call a friend.
 
Extend love and compassion freely, often, and wherever you can, beginning with yourself.

Know that we will get through this. 

Please.
​
Go gently… until further notice.  

How are you going gently these days??  Please share in the comments below.  We can learn from you. 


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3 Reasons to Retreat

9/26/2019

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(originally posted 6/10/18)

​There was a day when I didn't know about retreats and how powerful they are and what a critical piece of my well-being they would become  I imagine there are others out there who also wonder... who haven't yet discovered the magic of retreat.  So, I'd like to share with you just a few great reasons to give yourself the gift of retreat, for however long you may take or in whatever form!  What are some of the benefits and why would anyone make the investment of time and energy to retreat for a bit? 

1. Get out of routine - there's great value in simply breaking the pattern of everyday life - of taking yourself out of your usual habits and routines.  By changing things up, we tap into wonder and curiosity about life.  We begin to open to new ideas, insights, and creativity. We open our eyes to new perspectives. We see new possibility that we hadn't considered before.  We lighten up, let go, and even have fun!!  When you break away from the daily routine, there is nothing to fix or figure out.  Your mind can truly rest.  Aaahhhh...  to me, that alone is worth the price of admission!  

2. Slow down - We live in a world where go, go, go, is the norm.  Demands are coming fast and furious and we find ourselves pulled in so many directions with no relief in sight.  Our pace is unsustainable and our to-do list never-ending.  But, we don't know how to stop sometimes.  This pace is taking a toll on our health and well-being.  When we slow down, we calm our mind and soothe the nervous system. Then we notice the beauty of nature, our own body, people in our world.  We have to step off the hamster wheel to be with these sweeter things.  

3. Quiet the outer noise -  Oh my goodness!  There is so much coming at us all the time - news, ads, social media, political banter... it's an endless onslaught of noise, opinions, and provocations.  You've noticed that, right?  Just taking a media break for a brief period of time is super healing and restorative.  Imagine room to breathe without your phone constantly pinging in your ear.  Step away and feel the sigh of relief and the sense of peace.  In this space we begin to listen to our hearts and souls and hear our own inner guidance.  

We don't need more intensity - the world brings plenty of that.  We don't need more things to do - we have more activities than we can keep up with already.  Retreat is designed to be restorative and nourishing.  

Why do you retreat? Please join the conversation in the comments and let us know!  Together we grow and learn!  


Does retreat sound good to you? If you like this sound of this and would love to join a circle of like-minded women who are ready for a little of this retreat sweetness, join us for an upcoming retreat!  

At my retreats, everything is an invitation.  You are free to rest as needed. Explore the land as you commune with nature or give your body some movement among the trees and hills if that's your thing.  Lean into time with yourself.  And, rest into a world of no expectation. 

I hold our retreat space as safe and sacred - in this space you need only show up for yourself.  You are free to participate in the way that's comfortable for you and you are free to share and listen knowing that this is a zone where there is no advising, no figuring out what anyone else "should" do, and no worry that anyone is going to tell you what you should do.  This is a place and space to deepen your connection with yourself and to learn to honor yourself more deeply than ever before.  

Questions?  Let me know!  Know someone who would love this?  Please share this with them!  And, if you're ready to jump on board, you can register here! 

"A women's retreat springs from and is about stepping out of your ordinary existence to listen and attune to your truest, most authentic self...  It is setting apart time to tend the hearth of your inner life, feed your muse, reclaim your dreams."  ~ Jennifer Louden, The Women's Retreat Book

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What a Month...

9/4/2019

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​What a month August was… in 31 days, I spent more days in places and experiences than I hope others experience in a lifetime – places where I felt alone and powerless and sad. Places where broken systems are anything but supportive and generate a sense of frustration and oppression.  Experiences that remind me I’m in a reality I certainly never imagined.

Places filled with fear, sadness, grief, and anxiety so thick you can feel it surrounding you as you enter the overflowing and slow-moving parking garage… places where no one wants to be. Places cloaked with the stench of sickness and the heaviness of despair – where people in white coats rush about and noises drone constantly.  You visit but don’t glean much information or hope.  Any day at the hospital is inherently draining. 

Places where I succumb to a search of my property and person even though I have committed no crime. I simply want to board a plane or love someone who is on the wrong side of the bars.  Places where those in uniform clearly hold the power, and it is most wise to suppress and succumb. 

Shopping for 6 whites, 6 socks, 6 boxers… alongside excited RIT and U of R students and their parents preparing for the upcoming school year and the promise it holds. I shop not for the hallowed halls of these institutions but for the stark concrete barricade of an institution of last choice and lost hope.  I hope you don’t know what this feels like, but if you do, know that you are not alone…

Phone calls that don’t simply ring through but require agonizing minutes of recorded messages along with so much button pushing… calls that cannot be answered on the fly and can’t be returned if you miss them. 

It’s been a month of epic highs, extreme lows and some flatline numbness.  Along with the places I’ve mentioned already, I’ve also had moments that blew me away with their beauty and wonder!

Leading retreat at the serene Himalayan Institute with a group of women who openly share their hearts; Camp is in Your Heart in the incredibly gorgeous Colorado Rocky Mountains with people who share inspiration, hope, and also struggle.  Guiding my sweet and wise Self-Care Sanctuary group through practices that nourish and sustain us and working with clients who are fully embracing their life and their strengths while facing their challenges… these are some of the highs.  I have also cherished quieter highs in times with my beloved or a dear friend, sharing simple moments of life as well as our dreams and fears. 

All of this has required me to walk between pretty open-hearted places (where I much prefer to be and how I really want to show up to life) and places where I’ve needed to armor up a bit, to protect my tender heart. It can be hard to dance back and forth between those two ways of being.

I’m generally a pretty optimistic positive person, and I have had more mornings than I’d like to admit that have begun with “I guess I’m ready to face the day.”  My practices are lucky if I don’t forget them, and I am fortunate when I have remembered…  they ground me.  Otherwise, my mind easily gets away from me into thoughts about the past or worries about the future. 

Why Share? 
Why share this with you?  Well, why not?  When I share, I no longer have to hold my story in silence and shame or fear of judgment.  As I share, each of you can lightly hold a piece of my story with me, which lightens the load on my heart.  I remember that I do not walk through this world alone. 

And, more importantly, maybe my sharing will allow you to open your heart and share yours. Each one of us has challenges and suffering that too often we try to bear alone.  Why?  What good does that do? 

If You are Hurting...  
If you’re hurting, please ask for help. Ask for listening.  Ask for support.  Ask for someone simply to walk with you through the pain.  And when you need it, ask for time to be alone.  But, always remember, you do not have to face this on your own. Whatever “this” is for you. 
​
Find practices that support and nourish your body, mind, heart, and soul.  Here are a few that have worked for me:
  • Gratitude – this is a keystone practice for me. I find it every day, in the smallest of moments and in things I might otherwise take for granted, even for tears and sad feelings. I find gratitude for being alive enough to notice. 
  • Yoga – it brings all of our parts into the same space, reminds us of a strength and flexibility we may not have been feeling, and gives our nervous system a chance to settle for a bit. 
  • Rest – getting all the rest we need and letting it be ok, knowing that it takes a lot of energy to go through hard times.
  • Nature – whether that be a walk among the trees, sitting on the grass staring up at the clouds or stars, or getting out on the lake… nature has its own soothing embrace that bathes our souls in its gentleness.  
  • Simple Joy – find simple pleasures and let yourself enjoy them.  Find laughter and play.  Movies and mindless TV have been part of my self-care – they transport me out of my own head, life, and story, and carry me away to another place and time, if only for a short while.  They help to shift my energy. 
        Have something to look forward to every day and also make plans for concerts, trips, and fun              times with those you love. 

                        Your life is still happening and you deserve to engage in it,
                                              even when circumstances are grim
.
 
  • Gentle yourself – (yes, I am intentionally using “gentle” as a verb – try it!) be very, very gentle with your tender, aching heart and lean into care, letting it be ok, releasing any harsh self-judgment. 
  • Simplify – eliminate the drudgery – avoid the tendency to treat your life as a chore.  Reschedule, delegate, and do what is absolutely required – the rest can and will wait.  Leave some (or a lot) of white space in your calendar; in hard times we need extra spaciousness and breathing room. 
Remember, even when things aren’t going well, you can still take time and find ways to take care of you so that you can live your life.  Where there is breath, there is hope.  If you’re reading this it’s safe to assume you are breathing.  Hold on to that hope and live YOUR life!  

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Yes or No?

6/8/2019

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It’s not always easy to know where to direct our attention or spend our precious energy and time.  We live in an abundant world of possibilities… which is great!  Until it’s not…  

I, for one, can easily overwhelm and over-commit myself to too many groups (easy to do these days given the easy access to so many online groups as well as in-person ones), too many programs (anyone else a victim to the bright, shiny object syndrome??), too many practices (I love to learn and I love things that enhance my life…what can I say?)… And then I find I have too many “things” for too few hours!

And so when I woke up finding myself feeling overwhelmed, weighed down, and uncertain where to even begin I noticed the familiar tendency to freeze and just not do anything at all… or to distract myself in brilliantly disguised ways, doing things that need to be done, but maybe not right now. Or by doing things that don’t need to get done at all!  That social media rabbit hole is a favorite place for me to go at times like this. How about you?  Where do you go when you don’t know where to begin?  

In the past two weeks I’ve been to two workshops, and I’ve loved them both! They both involve practices that I would like to bring into my everyday life. And I’m just not sure where they are going to fit in.  Something needs to give to open up space in my hours. I can feel the confinement of so many things bearing down on me. The things I want to do. The things I need to do. The things that are calling me. The things that are drawing me in.  And the pressures of the places I think I should show up…  

I started to sit down at my desk and just start something, and very quickly realized that I had no idea where to begin. That’s when it hit me that today my morning routine had gotten disrupted and I hadn’t yet meditated.  This makes all the difference in the world for me, so I took myself to my seat and sat.

When you think you don't have time...  
The irony is that the moments when I don’t think I have time, is exactly when I need to make the time for the practices that support and sustain me.  Meditation is one for me.  Taking the time to sit with myself, to be with my breath, quiets my mind and calms my nervous system, taking me out of the reactive mode to a clearer place of discernment. From there I really can begin taking on one thing at a time with a much clearer head.  I can be more discerning.  I can begin.  
​
What works for you when you get overwhelmed?  How do you decide what is a "yes, this is something I will do" rather than "no!" (at least not now).  Please comment so that we can all take in some new ideas.  Thanks!  Here’s to wise discernment and a little less overwhelm!  

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Where Can You Find More Joy?

1/28/2019

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​Holy cow!  Life can feel so hard, overwhelming, and heavy at times!  Everywhere we look there’s something to worry about, something going wrong, something to be bothered by.  Heavy!  Exhausting…  and I’m tired of being so tired by all that’s heavy and what I label to be “wrong.” 

So, I find myself wondering where can I find more joy and fun in my everyday life.   How can I bring in lightheartedness and playfulness, even when there are sad and challenging things happening in my own circle and in the world at large?  How might I create more beauty and softness around me?

Honestly, I need to take some time to consciously reconnect with what brings me joy, what I find fun. I’ve gotten a little out of touch with the carefree little girl I once was – this part of me that is still here but has been pushed aside for too long.  Can you feel your little one alive within you, just waiting to be remembered? 

It feels like it’s time for a shake-up and time to at all aspects of my life.  The old habitual “things” and ways aren’t doing it right now.  It’s time to look at my daily practices. It’s time to look at how I spend my time and who I spend time with.  It’s time to notice how I am showing up and asking what I’m bringing to the party.  For sure, what I put out is what I will attract.  Misery loves company.  But I don’t want more misery.  I want joy!  I want fun!  I want to laugh and play!    

How are you doing with your joy?  
How about you?  How are you wanting to feel?  What do you want to attract into your world?  Is it time for a change?  Maybe you, too, have gotten in a rut and feel ready to mix things up a bit.

What is it that brings you joy, delight, laughter, lightheartedness, and fun?  Take a moment and find a quiet place to sit with this question and see what bubbles up for you. 

How can you plan for a little of this each day?  It’s great to have vacations, retreats, date nights, and these types of peak experiences, but let’s make it simpler…  In this season of darkness, how can you bring some light and beauty into your home?  In this time of worry, what gives you reason to hope?  Can you tap into that?  In a time of sadness, fear, or despair, where can you find a little joy? 

What might be possible if you had a little more delight and a little more hope?  

Please share with us the ways that you find and create joy, fun, playfulness in your life in the comments below so that we can get some new ideas that we might try when our own are getting a little stale!  

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What's YOUR Dream?

6/23/2018

3 Comments

 
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Have you ever found yourself getting swept away in a grand vision or a big dream and suddenly you find yourself falling short? 

It happened to me in the past month or so, and it surprised me.  I know better, but I'm still easy prey.  No matter how much I preach this and support others to NOT do it, I caught myself getting swept up in ambition that wasn’t mine.  I was striving to do more, be more, make more, be like people I admire, and live up to what I think other people want for me or expect of me.  And, I got really, really out of sorts. 

Thankfully, in the wee early morning hours (as so often seems to be the time for these epiphanies!)  I felt a clear “Stop!  What are you doing!?  Why are you making yourself crazy and beating yourself up? What’s true for your heart?” 

Once I paused, I was able to recognize that what IS enough for me has nothing to do with reaching millions of people or making millions of dollars. What is enough for me is showing up fully to those I am graced to work with – to touch one life at a time.  It’s enough for me to be able to give where I can. It’s enough for me to really appreciate the life we’ve created. My soul breathed a sigh of relief…  There you are, she said.  Thank goodness you’ve remembered.  Settle down now... 

It’s so easy to get swayed off course. So many outside voices gratuitously offering their thoughts on what we need and what we should do.  Watching other people do what you thought you wanted to do and judging yourself as inferior.  For me there was also a story running that went something like this…  If you’re not going to have a big business, go on tour, speak to thousands, make a lot of money, then what has all this training,coaching, and retreating you’ve done to support you and your business been about?  And, in that moment I unearthed this story that told me I needed to justify all that I’ve done in some way through my business results. 

Then the inquiry to get at the deeper truth came pouring in… What if all of the work I’ve done has been to help me be better for myself, for my family, and for those who I am lucky enough to be able to serve? What if it fulfilled my insatiable curiosity and love of learning (and that’s OK)?  What if what matters to me most is my family and my home and I no longer desire to go after a dream that would take me away from them a lot?  What if it’s enough that 111 Invitations is rippling out slowly, naturally, and organically?  

The truth is, for me, it is exactly enough for this moment in time. I am right where I want to be today. I am relieved to admit this to myself and to give myself permission to stop feeling like it’s not enough – that I need to push for more. For today, I’ve landed on what feels right on a deep, deep level.  And, that gives me a ground to stand on and a newfound energy that inspires me.  Instead of feeling discouraged, I feel alive and excited.  Some of my dreams no longer fit, and for now I can drop the burden of carrying them any further.

What are YOUR dreams?

So, how about you?  If you stopped trying to be what you thought you should be or what you thought someone else wanted you to be, what are YOUR dreams?  Are there dreams you once held that no longer fit you?  What would happen if you let them go or at least set them aside for now? 

These answers will come from your heart, not your head.  I invite you to take some quiet time, place a hand on your heart, and ask.  Then listen.  Jot down what you hear.  And, listen some more.  Allow insights to come to you unobstructed.  This isn’t the time to edit or argue.  Allow yourself to be surprised.  See what lights you up from inside, brings you that sigh of relief when you let go of something that is no longer yours, or electrifies you with excitement. 

You may find a new sense of energy and motivation that had gotten bogged down in the misdirected efforts of wandering a path that wasn’t meant for you.  Lucky you!  Now you know, and you can begin anew. 

In our culture we are solidly conditioned that more and bigger are better.  It’s just not necessarily true.  We’ve been told to “dream big.”  Hell, I’ve told people that for years, and I still believe it – the important piece is to discern and define what’s BIG for you! Big isn’t necessarily measured in dollars or numbers. Big impact can come through small actions. 

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living so
meone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~Steve Jobs

The truth is when you speak, act, and create from a place of deep integrity, being true to yourself, following the call of your heart and soul, you will find more peace and joy, and you WILL make a difference.  Your being will be happy and fulfilled, and in that happiness and fulfillment, you will have a ripple effect you may not even be aware of!   When you come from a place of authenticity, there’s no telling what surprises await.  You just don’t have to try so hard to make things happen. 
​
If you’d like to take time for this inner exploration, join us at one of my upcoming retreats.  Part of the reason I’m so passionate about retreats is that they give us the gift of time and space to touch in with questions like this.  While it is possible to sit with this type of inquiry on an average day, it’s much harder when we’re wrapped up in daily to-do’s, distractions, and demands.  Stepping away for a bit, allows our nervous system to let down, quiets the outer noise, allows our hearts to open, and allows our intuition to speak.  


If you enjoy writing prompts, you might play with some of these, taking a few minutes each and writing without stop to see what comes through:
- The parts of my dream that are alive and well right now are...
- I am willing to let go of...
- I'd love to bring in more...
- What really matters to me...
- What I appreciate about where I am right now is... 

Please share your insights, wisdom, and reflections here - we learn and grow together!  


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3 Reasons to Retreat

6/10/2018

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​There was a day when I didn't know about retreats and how powerful they are and what a critical piece of my well-being they would become  I imagine there are others out there who also wonder... who haven't yet discovered the magic of retreat.  So, I'd like to share with you just a few great reasons to give yourself the gift of retreat, for however long you may take or in whatever form!  What are some of the benefits and why would anyone make the investment of time and energy to retreat for a bit? 

1. Get out of routine - there's great value in simply breaking the pattern of everyday life - of taking yourself out of your usual habits and routines.  By changing things up, we tap into wonder and curiosity about life.  We begin to open to new ideas, insights, and creativity. We open our eyes to new perspectives. We see new possibility that we hadn't considered before.  We lighten up, let go, and even have fun!!  When you break away from the daily routine, there is nothing to fix or figure out.  Your mind can truly rest.  Aaahhhh...  to me, that alone is worth the price of admission!  

2. Slow down - We live in a world where go, go, go, is the norm.  Demands are coming fast and furious and we find ourselves pulled in so many directions with no relief in sight.  Our pace is unsustainable and our to-do list never-ending.  But, we don't know how to stop sometimes.  This pace is taking a toll on our health and well-being.  When we slow down, we calm our mind and soothe the nervous system. Then we notice the beauty of nature, our own body, people in our world.  We have to step off the hamster wheel to be with these sweeter things.  

3. Quiet the outer noise -  Oh my goodness!  There is so much coming at us all the time - news, ads, social media, political banter... it's an endless onslaught of noise, opinions, and provocations.  You've noticed that, right?  Just taking a media break for a brief period of time is super healing and restorative.  Imagine room to breathe without your phone constantly pinging in your ear.  Step away and feel the sigh of relief and the sense of peace.  In this space we begin to listen to our hearts and souls and hear our own inner guidance.  

We don't need more intensity - the world brings plenty of that.  We don't need more things to do - we have more activities than we can keep up with already.  Retreat is designed to be restorative and nourishing.  

Why do you retreat? Please join the conversation in the comments and let us know!  Together we grow and learn!  


Does retreat sound good to you? If you like this sound of this and would love to join a circle of like-minded women who are ready for a little of this retreat sweetness, join us in the beautiful Poconos at the Himalayan Institute for Coming Home to Yourself: A Women's Renewal Retreat August 10-12. 

At my retreats, everything is an invitation.  You are free to rest as needed. Explore the 400 gorgeous acres as you commune with nature or give your body some movement among the trees and hills if that's your thing.  Gather in our circle around the campfire. Check out a yoga class or meditation session.  And, rest into a world of no expectation. 

I hold our retreat space as safe and sacred - in this space you need only show up for yourself.  You are free to participate in the way that's comfortable for you and you are free to share and listen knowing that this is a zone where these is no advising, no figuring out what anyone else "should" do, and no worry that anyone is going to tell you what you should do.  This is a place and space to deepen your connection with yourself and to learn to honor yourself more deeply than ever before.  

Questions?  Let me know!  Know someone who would love this?  Please share this with them!  And, if you're ready to jump onboard, you can register here! 

"A women's retreat springs from and is about stepping out of your ordinary existence to listen and attune to your truest, most authentic self...  It is setting apart time to tend the hearth of your inner life, feed your muse, reclaim your dreams."  ~ Jennifer Louden, The Women's Retreat Book

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Mom-life Identity Crisis by guest blogger, Dr. Rachel

5/4/2018

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This post was originally posted on Dr. Rachel's blog at FitMama PDX
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​I have a dirty little secret...
Let me set the scene. This past weekend, I attended a continuing education course on body weight movement and strength training. I left the house bright and early both mornings, returning after 6pm both nights, leaving my husband to hang with our brood (Sierra 14, Jack 10 and Cooper 18 months).


​It’s important to note that this is the longest single stretch that I had been away from Cooper since he was born, and that my husband gets a little flare of anxiety when left alone too long with what can only be described as an intensely energetic range of kiddos.

So, what’s the big secret?
  • I could feel the guilt mounting in the days leading up to the weekend. Should I take the time for myself? Should I see if I could bring the kids for some of the action so that the husband could get a break? Was I being selfish...all self-imposed guilt I might add.

And, here’s the part I really wasn't expecting.
  • When I rolled up at the end of my first day, exhausted and sweaty, I was shocked by my reaction. The day had been wonderful (for my family), filled with park time, successful nap time, and lots of ease. The house was even cleaner than I had left it that morning. So, why did I feel so damn sad?  Instead of seeing this as a victory for all, I suddenly felt a panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was no longer needed...my mom-life identity was being threatened.​

Who was I if not the person who could run the house smoothly, anticipate needs before they were stated, and soothe a grumpy toddler?

We’ve all heard the term empty nest syndrome, but what about full nest syndrome?

All my kids are still under one roof, needy as ever, and I have longed for more free time to work on my business, health, life...But, once I had successfully taken this time, I found myself unable to appreciate the foundation of safety and security that we’ve established as a family.

The capable, awesome humans who can thrive without my constant presence hasn’t filled me with pride. It has instead left me with a huge feeling of emptiness. 

WTF?

Here’s what happened next. I let my younger self surface, throw a mini-temper tantrum (for my husband’s eyes only), made a few ridiculous comments about how I should just plan to go away every weekend, or move to Canada, cried a little, had a restless night of sleep, had my ah-ha moment and then started to get REALLY EXCITED.

Why I am subjecting you to this story? Because, that’s how it goes with a mom-life crisis. We have these opportunities to find our ah-ha moments no matter where we are on the journey. There will come a time when you will be confronted by your own identity. The Daughter, Mom, Wife, Lover, Entrepreneur...

We use these titles to help describe the people we are in the world, but they are not WHO WE ARE. This past weekend I thought I was a physician learning safe and effective movement strategies to enhance strength and mobility by day, and a mother and wife by night. But, after sitting in the uncomfortable muck of emotion that surfaced, and toning down my ego, I realized that I am a strong, capable woman who works hard every day to show up with integrity, who has the power to give life, kiss scraped knees, laugh, love and cry all in one day.

Take a step back and think about all the hats you wear, your different identities. Now think about the person underneath all of that, the one who had the will, stamina and fortitude to get you where you are today. That is who you are. That is the person who gets hidden, or lost when we start to pin ourselves to a single word.

It's about balancing the person you are with all the hats that you wear, and never being afraid to ask for help in accomplishing your goals. That means being willing to ask your community for what you really need, and being willing to invest resources into your own health and well-being - not spending everything you have on your kids and leaving yourself high and dry!

If you can relate to the idea of having a mom-life crisis, or you’ve ever found yourself floundering between what you think you should do, and what you know you want, I invite you to take a look at my One Page Wellness Consult over here. It’s my way of helping you find your footing. By taking simple, effective and efficient steps towards your health goals you become just a little more YOU.

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    About me...

    I am a writer, coach, and teacher, and I love capturing life's many moments through writing, whether that be journalling, blogging, poetry, or essay.  I have always found the written word as a natural way for me to express what lies within.  

    This is the space where we get real.  I will write about my life experiences and things that I find my clients encounter in their daily lives.   

    What's real for you? What would you like me to write about?  Feel free to share with me topics you would like to see discussed and please join in the dialogue through the comment section. Your engagement makes the blog a much richer place to hang out!

    Thank you for joining me on this journey!!    

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Barb Klein
Inspired Possibility
585-705-8740
barb@inspiredpossibility.com