​There was a day when I didn't know about retreats and how powerful they are and what a critical piece of my well-being they would become  I imagine there are others out there who also wonder... who haven't yet discovered the magic of retreat.  So, I'd like to share with you just a few great reasons to give yourself the gift of retreat, for however long you may take or in whatever form!  What are some of the benefits and why would anyone make the investment of time and energy to retreat for a bit? 

1. Get out of routine - there's great value in simply breaking the pattern of everyday life - of taking yourself out of your usual habits and routines.  By changing things up, we tap into wonder and curiosity about life.  We begin to open to new ideas, insights, and creativity. We open our eyes to new perspectives. We see new possibility that we hadn't considered before.  We lighten up, let go, and even have fun!!  When you break away from the daily routine, there is nothing to fix or figure out.  Your mind can truly rest.  Aaahhhh...  to me, that alone is worth the price of admission!  

2. Slow down - We live in a world where go, go, go, is the norm.  Demands are coming fast and furious and we find ourselves pulled in so many directions with no relief in sight.  Our pace is unsustainable and our to-do list never-ending.  But, we don't know how to stop sometimes.  This pace is taking a toll on our health and well-being.  When we slow down, we calm our mind and soothe the nervous system. Then we notice the beauty of nature, our own body, people in our world.  We have to step off the hamster wheel to be with these sweeter things.  

3. Quiet the outer noise -  Oh my goodness!  There is so much coming at us all the time - news, ads, social media, political banter... it's an endless onslaught of noise, opinions, and provocations.  You've noticed that, right?  Just taking a media break for a brief period of time is super healing and restorative.  Imagine room to breathe without your phone constantly pinging in your ear.  Step away and feel the sigh of relief and the sense of peace.  In this space we begin to listen to our hearts and souls and hear our own inner guidance.  

We don't need more intensity - the world brings plenty of that.  We don't need more things to do - we have more activities than we can keep up with already.  Retreat is designed to be restorative and nourishing.  

Why do you retreat? Please join the conversation in the comments and let us know!  Together we grow and learn!  

Does retreat sound good to you? If you like this sound of this and would love to join a circle of like-minded women who are ready for a little of this retreat sweetness, join us in the beautiful Poconos at the Himalayan Institute for Coming Home to Yourself: A Women's Renewal Retreat August 10-12. 

At my retreats, everything is an invitation.  You are free to rest as needed. Explore the 400 gorgeous acres as you commune with nature or give your body some movement among the trees and hills if that's your thing.  Gather in our circle around the campfire. Check out a yoga class or meditation session.  And, rest into a world of no expectation. 

I hold our retreat space as safe and sacred - in this space you need only show up for yourself.  You are free to participate in the way that's comfortable for you and you are free to share and listen knowing that this is a zone where these is no advising, no figuring out what anyone else "should" do, and no worry that anyone is going to tell you what you should do.  This is a place and space to deepen your connection with yourself and to learn to honor yourself more deeply than ever before.  

Questions?  Let me know!  Know someone who would love this?  Please share this with them!  And, if you're ready to jump onboard, you can register here! 

"A women's retreat springs from and is about stepping out of your ordinary existence to listen and attune to your truest, most authentic self...  It is setting apart time to tend the hearth of your inner life, feed your muse, reclaim your dreams."  ~ Jennifer Louden, The Women's Retreat Book

​There’s never been a better time to take really good care of yourself than now.  And, while I think that statement is always true, I think it’s particularly true now.  We are living in a time of so much uncertainty and so much disruption.  No matter your political views or your level of engagement in activism, it would be hard to be immune from feeling the effects of the energy swirling in the US and across the globe these days. 

Now is the perfect time to come home to yourself – back to your own heart, back to your own wisdom, back to your own strength.  It’s time to be well-resourced so that you have energy for your creativity, your contribution, and your presence in the world.  You must be well-resourced in order to show up to the people and things in your life that matter most.  You can’t really fully be there for your loved ones, your clients, or your work if you’re not well-cared for.  And, you must be well-resourced for yourself – so that you stay healthy and strong to live the full life you’re here to live.
 
Self-care doesn’t have to be big or grand, and we certainly don’t want it to become one more thing on an already overwhelming to-do list!  No! That’s not what I’m talking about when I talk about self-care.  I’m talking about what my mentor, Renee Trudeau, defines self-care as: “the art of attuning and responding to your needs and desires, moment to moment.”  This is an in the moment thing, my friends!  It is a practice, an art that develops over time.  And, it doesn’t have to be hard or take a lot of time.

I’ve been thinking about mini moments of self-care, because most of us don’t have an ounce of extra energy, and we can’t imagine finding more time in a typical day.  So, what might be a mini moment that would help rejuvenate, restore, and nourish you?  Here are some ideas to get you started:

   Breath - take a few minutes to connect with your breath – closing your eyes to shut out distractions if you can, maybe putting a hand on your heart and another on your belly, and just notice.  Where does your breath come in?  Where do you feel its movement most clearly?  Is it deep or shallow?  smooth or jagged? Just be with it and notice if it slows or deepens as you stay with it… eventually you might want to invite the exhale to be just a little longer than the inhale, getting rid of that stale air as you bring in fresh.

   Music – put on a song that lifts you up, energizes, soothes or inspires you (what is it you need right now?) and dance and sing along…  let your body and voice move as a way to get your own energy moving and as a way to find some joy or comfort!  

   Rest – lying down and letting your body be horizontal, even for a few minutes is soothing to your nervous system.  It does not have to be a full-blown nap.  But, if you have 20 minutes, close your eyes, drift away, and take it!

   Fresh Air! – get outside to be in nature even if only for a few moments – take a breath of that fresh air into your lungs and find refreshment.  If you can go for a walk, whether it be around the city block or in the woods, notice and connect with the nature around you – trees, birds, breeze, snow, sunshine… there is something enlivening about being with nature.  

  Journaling – take a few minutes to do a short journaling.  This could be simply to brain dump whatever’s on your mind and in your heart or you could do an exploration into deeper connection with yourself, asking and answering a question like “What is it that I most desire right now?”  or looking at a bigger one like, “The life I envision is…”  It’s amazing the wisdom that rises up when we give ourselves a few minutes to write without thinking or stopping.

  Create – get out some watercolors and paint away – see what wants to be expressed today; knit; craft with clay; make a collage; color or draw a mandala – all of these things are great ways to tap the creative part of our brain and get out of the thinking mind, which may really need a rest. 

  Connect – connect with other people in person or by phone so that you can be seen and heard and have a chance to share laughter and struggle with someone else.  Knowing we are not alone is really powerful.  It can be really tempting to isolate when we’re feeling overwhelmed or down, so sometimes this one takes a conscious effort.  The rewards are well worth it. 

  Sprinkle in some JOY! – have something to look forward to each and every day that makes you happy, makes you laugh, warms your heart, or just brings in a gentle sense of contentment… there’s room for it every day, even in the darkest of times.  

What ideas do you have?  I’d love to hear yours in the comments below – we are each other’s teachers!

Self-care definitely needs to come in mini moments over and over again throughout the day.  There are also times when it’s great to take a longer period of time to really fill up your own well if you can.  Give yourself a half day or full day to simply listen to your heart and gut – what is it that would be nourishing, joyful, or healing for you today?  Be willing to be surprised and be willing to change your “plan” if you start something and find out it isn’t filling you up as you had hoped.  This isn’t about making plans or commitments – it’s about learning to listen to your own guidance and being gentle with yourself as it comes.  

If you’d like a longer stint of self-care immersion, take a weekend or week-long retreat – alone or with a group.  Retreats give you a chance to turn off the phone and computer, to step away from daily demands, and to create space for you – to go within and see what really needs your attention right now.  Retreats are a time for your mind to relax, your body to rest, and all of you to slow down.  

I first heard these words from Renee Trudeau, and they spoke directly to my soul and quickly became one of my guiding mantras from that moment on.  No, I will not abandon myself. I will be true to me in all areas of my life.  Even when (especially when) it gets hard. These words serve me because they remind me to stand steady on my own ground, even when the earth is shaking around me.  Even when other people’s stuff is raining down on me.  I invite you to try this out for yourself.

In order to do this we need to realize the choices we have.  What am I in charge of? Me.  My actions, reactions, and inactions.  That’s all I can control.  People will do things around me.  Events will happen in my world.  And, I am always at choice about what I do with those moments. When I forget that I have a choice and react in a way I wish I hadn’t, my choice now becomes how to respond to the mess I might have made.

What does this look like in real life? Here’s how it plays out in the day-to-day

Self-Honoring – The most important component in being true to oneself is taking the time to develop a really good relationship with yourself.  Know what you need to be your best self. Know what your standards, values, and boundaries are so that you can create a life that is aligned with them in any moment.  Because life is in constant flow, check in regularly on what you’re feeling, thinking, needing, and wanting and see how you can go about addressing those things.  Trust your gut and your heart to guide you to what is right for you in any moment. 

This is not about being selfish. It’s not about doing anything that would hurt anyone else.  At times it could be about making tough decisions that others might not like.  That’s ok.

Know what form of true self-care supports you to be your best and make sure you schedule it in to your life.  Without a solid foundation here, you won’t be able to give your all to other areas of your life. What is it that nourishes you?  What fills you with joy? What makes your heart sing? What calms your systems and grounds you? What restores, rejuvenates, and recharges you to keep on going? What else comes up for you here as you think about self-care? 

Relationships – We get to choose who we spend time with and whose energy we allow into our space – in person and online. We get to set boundaries that determine how we will be treated and what we will put up with.  Think about the people you spend your time with. Are your relationships adding value to your life or are they taking energy? Are there lines in the sand that need to be drawn with those you are in relationship with?

Do you have friendships that are fulfilling – those where you lift each other up, enjoy each other’s company, truly care about what’s going on in the other’s life, and celebrate together? 

Do your business relationships have a mutual respect, collaborative, supportive energy without threat or competition, and are they rewarding to both of you?  Are the communities you are involved in supportive, enjoyable, and meaningful to you? It’s worth reassessing these areas from time to time.

Work – As I learned from Laura Berman Fortgang in my Now What?® coaching training, there is more to life than making money or doing what I’m good at or what I’ve always done.  What’s important is whether I get to be who I want to be while I’m doing my work.

Find or create a career that fuels you rather than drains you. I do what I do is because it energizes me and because I love to help others find that energy as well.

Far too many people are having the life sucked out of them by toxic environments.  I know I don’t ever want to be one of them, and I hope you don’t either.  Life is too important and too short. Find a way to do work that lights you up if possible.  If not, at least find work that is energy-neutral (not taking more than it’s giving) that will pay the bills while you do things that light you up on the side.

Physical Self – We only get one body in this life so it’s a good idea to take really good care of it.  Learn  what foods provide true nourishment and sustenance for your body, not just comfort in those stressful moments. 

Believe me, I get stress eating and comfort foods, and I’m learning that the stress reduction is short-term and the “comfort” often leaves me feeling more uncomfortable than when I started eating. And sometimes I succumb anyway, forgive myself, and get back on track as quickly as possible. At least the awareness is there now and I recognize the choice I’m making.

What exercise is fun for you?  If it’s not fun, it might not be worth the stress it causes you to think you “should” be doing it!  So, really, how does your body love to move?? 

How much sleep do you need to function optimally? Does your body need to get out in the sun, be in nature, breathe fresh air, glide through water, or soak in the starlit night?  

This ties back in with self-honoring because it requires a strong self-awareness and a commitment to take care of yourself in the way that works for you.  What works for your neighbor or friend may have no connection to what you need. 

The opportunity - I invite you to take time to tune in to yourself.  Engage in regular dialogue with yourself through meditation or journaling or daydreaming (whatever works for you) to access your inner wisdom.  Be still, get quiet, and listen.  You’ll be amazed at what comes to you.

What are you being called to?  What are you being called away from? Where are you abandoning yourself and how can you make a change? Pay attention and see how things shift when you begin to honor the wise guidance that you have within you! 

Try something new and remember that decisions aren’t forever.  You can choose again if you want to. 

My wish for you… Be true to you.  It’s the best way I know to live an authentic, joyful, peaceful, and impactful life.