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The Beauty of NOT being Logical!

12/30/2015

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Sport

Recently my husband and I were reminiscing about my first horse, Sport, who I bought about 26 years ago.  It’s a story that by all logical accounts should not have become reality.

Though I had taken riding lessons since I was young and had dreamt of having my own horse (and schemed about keeping it in our backyard playhouse) since I was 7, I was not a seasoned horsewoman.  I had been leasing Misha, my barn’s rock solid beginner’s horse, and loving it.  She was steady, dependable, gentle, kind, and patient – the kind of horse a relative beginner should have!

And then I met Sport, a 5 year old, gorgeous, flashy grey Arab who had recently moved to our barn because only my instructor could handle him.  Most people were afraid of him, so he was afraid of most people.  AND, I chose to overlook all that and fall in love with him and the idea of finally having my own horse!  I was an adult now, and I could make my own decisions!  I wanted him to be my first dressage horse.

Logic says to get a vet check to be sure the animal is healthy and sound.  After I attempted to hold Sport still for the vet, and we bounced from stal
l to aisle to arena with his eyes popping and his legs jumping, the vet pretty directly cautioned me against buying him.  If I couldn’t even handle him on the ground and since she couldn’t even examine him thoroughly and since he was a bit small for me and clearly not the ideal temperament for dressage, then maybe he wasn’t the horse for me. 

Somehow that did not deter me; my heart was running the show, not logic.  My husband asked if we could afford to have a horse.  My “logic” was, “I’ve checked our budget and we shouldn’t be getting by now, and we are… so, why not?”  To this day he doesn’t know why he didn’t argue with me, but he didn’t.  So, I had my first horse!  He was beautiful, he was terrified, he was relatively untrained, I was terrified, and our journey of learning together began.

Early on my instructor, Mel, told me “One of you better find some confidence or he’s going to kill you!”  Now, that was a powerful motivator!  I dug deep to find courage and confidence to ride and train this horse who was afraid of his own shadow and bolted and jumped sideways often and without warning!  Boy, did I develop good balance and a solid seat!  I never fell off of him, and over the years my riding improved and Sport transformed into a dependable lesson horse who carried our young students patiently and gently.  

Had I let logic get in my way at any stage along the way, I would have missed out on the beautiful experience I had with my first horse, my childhood dream, and the confidence and skills that made me a better, more patient and compassionate rider, trainer, instructor, and person.  Sport taught me about patience and unconditional love as well as how to develop confidence where it didn’t seem possible.  So, why not?  What a gift! 

This week I went to bid farewell to Sport who is now 31 and getting ready to cross the rainbow bridge.  Our good-bye brought so many wonderful memories from this chapter of my life flooding back to me. Thank you, Sport. You have brightened my life in a way a logical decision never would have!  

**Disclaimer - I am not encouraging anyone to make financially irresponsible decisions! Only you know what you can and should do with your money.  
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Kindness Is a Practice

12/18/2015

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I was reminded recently by my yoga teacher, Amy Jo, that kindness is a practice, something to cultivate.  Merriam-Webster defines practice as “the activity of doing something again and again in order to become better at it."  We need to work at being kind in order to get better at it.  What a concept!  Kindness doesn’t just come naturally, but it’s something we actually need to be intentional about.

Furthermore, the foundation for kindness comes when we practice being kind to ourselves.  It is not selfish to take time to be loving and kind with yourself, but rather wise and critical.  We can’t give anything to anyone else that we don’t have within ourselves.  We can’t expect to show up in the world offering kindness to others if we are continually beating ourselves up.  We also can’t expect to create a ripple of love if we continually come from a place of anger or fear.

I noticed what happened when I jumped in to defend my son from someone who was upsetting him.  Filled with anger, I began to call that person names and attack back, even though the person wasn’t here.  I watched and felt the ugliness brew inside me and then ripple outward to everything and everyone around me.  It infected my attitude so that I was interacting with grumpiness to anyone within striking range – both of my sons, and my poor husband who was only just waking up.
    
After I took my younger son to school, he exited the car quickly without his usual “I love you. Have a nice day,” and my first response was, “What’s wrong with you??”  Then I realized it wasn’t him at all.  It was me.  He was merely mirroring my energy back to me, and he was trying to save himself by getting away as quickly as possible.  Who could blame him? 

Thankfully, yoga was an hour later, so very quickly I was brought back to my senses and sent on my way to lead a better rest of the day.  We began with a discussion of loving kindness and then practiced a brief loving kindness meditation at the beginning and end of class. It reminded me of the practice I learned earlier this year in a Mindful Self-Compasssion workshop with Christopher Germer and Kristin Neff*. 

Throughout yoga class we were encouraged to offer ourselves and our class mates kindness and gentleness as we moved through the various poses.  Instead of beating myself up if I wobbled or skipped a pose, I was able to lovingly be there for myself and honor what was right for me today. I also sweetly appreciated the beauty of a well-executed pose by someone else.  No judgment.  No criticism.  No comparison.  So powerful. 

If we want to create a kinder, more peaceful world, we must begin with ourselves and with those closest to us.  We must cultivate this practice of being kind, gentle, and loving on a regular basis and from a place of inner peace, we can silently and anonymously send it out to anyone, anywhere in the world. 

If you would like to be part of a kinder world, I invite you to try this today – begin with yourself and offer a simple meditation, such as, “May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy.  May I live with ease.”  Repeat these phrases (or come up with whatever words resonate with you) over and over at your own comfortable pace for just a few moments and notice what you feel inside.  As you go through life’s happenings,  when you find yourself feeling frustrated or upset with yourself, step back and again offer a phrase or two that you really need to hear to bring you back to peace. 

Then take this show on the road - practice sending this silent offering to others.  It’s a little easier to begin with someone you really love, someone who makes you smile, or someone who has shown you great kindness.  However, with practice you will find yourself offering loving kindness to strangers who bump into you in the grocery store, drivers who cut you off in traffic, and even people who hurt you or your loved ones. 

When we come from love and compassion, then we have the power to change not only our own lives but the world at large.
 
Thanks to Amy Jo at Bodhi Tree Yoga for offering this teaching to her classes and thereby touching the world with a little more love, kindness, and grace. 

​*you can get more information and free downloadable meditations at their websites by following these links
 
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    About me...

    I am a writer, coach, and teacher, and I love capturing life's many moments through writing, whether that be journalling, blogging, poetry, or essay.  I have always found the written word as a natural way for me to express what lies within.  

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Inspired Possibility
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barb@inspiredpossibility.com