Inspired Possibility Blog

Revival!

8/31/2022

Revival - an improvement in the condition or strength of something. (as defined by Oxford Languages).

When I first thought about “revival,” I thought it meant “brought back to life.” I suppose that would certainly be considered an “improvement in the condition or strength of something,” wouldn’t it? So, I am going to stick with that felt sense of the word.

I’ve had a month of revival, and I must say I’m emerging with a fresh energy, a renewed and deepened connection with myself, and a fresh enthusiasm to engage with life and this next chapter in a beautiful way. I’m looking at my work with fresh eyes and a willingness to shake things up.

In July I got a very strong internal hit to step away, pull back from obligations and work that wasn’t filling me any longer. That hit also came with a strong desire to add in more fun, more play, more rest, more joy. And so, I did.

I cleared my calendar of appointments that could wait til later. I bought tickets to live music, which I have learned in recent years is a thing that fills my soul and is something my husband and I enjoy doing together. I jumped into the Great Rhythm Revival (that “thing” I mentioned in my last newsletter) very spontaneously and a little uncertainly. I booked a trip to Omega Institute to meet a friend I’d only known by Zoom and phone for 2 ½ years – we’d co-facilitated 2 online retreats in that time but we had never actually been in the same room together, never shared a hug or a deep sit-down face-to-face conversation! I bought tickets to the Avett Brothers in Chautauqua and then added to a day pass so that we could listen to Scott Avett’s non-lecture about spirituality, faith, and creativity which led us to add an extra night to our stay and invite a couple of friends to join us. I found a gorgeous simple peaceful cottage on the lake to hold us for those nights.

I’ve been on the road A LOT! Probably away from home more than not this past month. But, because it was fueled by joy, I feel filled up rather than depleted. Revived, if you will!

So, this Great Rhythm Revival… what the heck is that? I wasn’t sure other than knowing I was jumping into some peace, love, and granola kind of happening with drumming, dancing, and fire. I went with Sandi Sabene, my partner for this year’s retreat and a friend who I haven’t had much chance to play with and a dear friend of hers. I could have (and would have in the past) felt like a third wheel, an outsider, especially since these two are beloved members of this community that has formed over many years. But, I didn’t. Why? Because I went in with a solid sense of myself and a strong ability and desire to take care of my needs during our time together. I let go of FOMO and gave myself permission to listen to my body, heart, and spirit – to nap on our porch rather than join a workshop, to dance rather than write, to go to bed rather than go to the fire. To say “yes” to me rather than to other people’s expectations or desires.

I also gave myself full permission to let loose and find the carefree, joyful me who was so hungry to come out and play! To close my eyes and drum even though I don’t really know how. To join the transformative dance workshops and let my body move as it wanted to move (which was way more than it has in the past year or more due to a lengthy bout of frozen shoulder). To say “yes” to the body paint (a little the first night and all in the second) before the dance party! To dance in the front row and not care that I’m so tall. To sweat. To jump into the pond and float with women I was just meeting for the first time. To talk to strangers – to dare to believe that I might belong. To meet new people and to buy my ticket for next year because I know this is good medicine for my soul!

During that weekend I found or reconnected with parts of myself that had been sleeping for too long. My nervous system settled, awakened, healed in ways it hasn’t in a very long time. I was nourished and fueled on all levels. The conditions and strength of my something was very much improved!

I returned home with a solid connection to my true self. I felt grounded and strong. I had crystal clarity, which allowed me to stand on my ground and face some BS that came my way almost immediately. Finding ourselves and letting ourselves free is vital to our life force energy. It’s critical to be solid in our own core in order to not be buffeted around by life and other people.

I feel like I’m in the gooey phase of transformation/transmutation now… like the caterpillar in the cocoon, in the dark, but not in a bad way. There’s been a strong desire and need to go within, to find quiet and stillness in order to hear the whispers of my soul, the calls for what’s next.

I don’t know what’s next, and that’s ok. In this space I don’t have to know. I only have to be open. To listen deeply to my heart and soul – to follow the inner nudges that do know. To sit with the not knowing and allow things to unfold. To catch and follow the fresh inspiration when it comes.

This phase is calling me to let go of things I’ve done for a long time, and trust that I will be able to create anew when the time is right. I’m not trying to box anything in to what it used to be or what I’ve always done. I’m not trying to force or figure anything out. Aaahhh… it feels like a breath of fresh air that I can expand into rather than a stagnant stale container cramping me in.

On my solo drive to Omega, I listened to great podcasts (Cheryl Strayed on We Can Do Hard Things – 2 episodes – really lit my fire!). I listened closely and paid attention to what their conversation awakened within me. I longed to devote more time to my writing and for writing time with Cheryl. I’m taking steps to honor this deep knowing. Shortly after returning home, I saw that shel is offering a writing workshop in Omega! I am returning before too long!! Opening to one of my core gifts, to one of my principal practices and mediums, to inspiration, to a place and space that nurtures and nourishes me in a deep, deep way! I’m excited!

Listening to Scott Avett talk about not wanting to be boxed in or blocked out by labels, I felt a deep resonance in my core. Scott spoke of the need to be real, even in front of other people. To let content arise from lived experience. As I witnessed the band shake off any perception that they were simply a “folk band” with a strong rock and roll show, I smiled, imagining their intention. “You think we’re folk? Watch this!” It was an amazing performance, coming from the authenticity of the band members. Perhaps the best show I’ve ever seen from them. Why? Because they were letting themselves out to shine and play! They were being moved from the inside out!

I have many reflections living within me from this month of revival. I have so much gratitude for those who flicked me awake and to myself for being there for it! For showing up, ready and willing to be awakened, ready and willing to take a risk, ready and willing to break free, just a little bit more, letting go of some of the cares about what others think of me or expect from me in order to more fully honor myself.

Sounds selfish, doesn’t it? And yet, I have no doubt that all of this revival will allow me to serve the world in a better and stronger way than I have before. I don’t know exactly what that means, but I’m ready and excited to witness and be part of the unfolding.

Your turn…
What’s feeling old and stale to you? Where can you shake things up a bit, in a really good way? Where might you bring in more joy and playfulness to your days? Where can you add in fun? What can you cancel or reschedule that maybe doesn’t have to happen right now? What truly matters most to you right now – at this moment in your life? What parts of you have been sleeping or gone missing for too long? What parts have not yet been discovered? Where would you like to begin your revival?

If the Great Rhythm Revival sounds good to you, check it out and join me next year! As I was promised, you won’t be disappointed and you’ll likely love it!

Want to give yourself a little revival much sooner than next August? Join me and Sandi Sabene (she was the friend I went to Revival with and has facilitated drum circles and creative expression experiences for decades) at Let Your Light Shine Women’s Retreat Sept. 23-27. She and I are lit up and so excited to be co-creating this magical 5-day experience together!

Five spots remain. This retreat may not happen again (at least not in its current form), so if this version is calling you, now is the time to jump in! Don’t put it off til “next year!”

I just don't know for sure what's coming. I know there will be more retreats. I know there will be fresh and inspired offerings... so, stay tuned as more is revealed over the coming days and months! This is where I am - truly am in a space of wonder, curiosity, and possibility, discovering for myself what will be next! I'm excited! And, you'll be the first to know!

And, as you can see from the rest of this post, I feel like it's always a good idea to seize the opportunities as they come rather than wait!

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Life, Death, and Rebirth

5/10/2022

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This is the name of one of the Tai Chi moves we do in Tai Chi for Recovery, and it strikes me that this is what this season of Spring is all about.

Nature is making it abundantly clear that we are in a time of transition. Each of these elements: life, death, and rebirth are at play.

I see life in the trees and flowers budding and springing to life, in the baby ducklings scurrying to keep up with their mother as they somersault haphazardly off the bank, frantic to not be left behind. There is life in the call of the migrating loons on our lake – these visitors that are only here for a short while. The longer days with more sunshine and the skies filled with birds flitting busily about feel very much alive.

As trees and plants come to life, we can also see the ones that did not make it. The death and decayed material on the forest floor that now becomes the base of life for new growth.

Rebirth – the perennials and bulbs that miraculously burst through the ground after so many months of hibernation, resting, doing whatever magical things they do in the soil when the snow and grey days are here. The tiny lilacs, their buds the size of a tiny pearl, slowly becoming more vibrant, more open each day.

And I am reminded of these cycles that live within each one of us all the time. We are always in transition, whether we know it or not. Physically our bodies change every single day – as Wayne Dyer used to remind us, we are not the body we were at 6 months old, even though we are still the same person.

As we learn, grow, and evolve, our thoughts change. We find new ways. We unlearn old ones that are not helpful and maybe even harmful. We replace old, destructive habits with new healthy ones. We slip back. We begin again. Life, death, rebirth.

Bursts of inspiration and energy carry us toward possibility. Fear and doubt stop us in our tracks. Then we begin again, slowly gaining traction. Life, death, rebirth.

Dreams and ideas fall away as new ones come to light. Roles are abandoned or redefined. We step into a new sense of self, perhaps one that feels more aligned with who we are in this chapter of our life.

It seems in every group I participate in, people are talking about feeling “up in the air,” uncertain of the future. I sense a heightened awareness to the truth that we don’t know what lies ahead. We don’t know. Individually and collectively, we have no ability to see, with certainty, how our next move will play out down the line. For some at some times this brings fear and anxiety. We want to know. Our minds love to think they’re in charge and that if we craft just the right plan, then surely, we’ll be ok. We’ll be safe. Now we can go ahead. We forget that plans are destined to be changed.

Others are more comfortable with stepping out into risks, taking a chance, making the next move that feels like the next right or best step. We do what we can to set ourselves up for success. And, as we step into action, maybe we weigh pros and cons. We do the research, play out scenarios, try to prepare for all that could come up. (I certainly do that and have likely wasted a lot of time and energy in the past in this mental activity – somehow it makes me feel better. Gives me a false sense of security). Sometimes we simply take a leap of faith, trusting that if we don’t learn to fly, the net will appear.

On my last retreat I spoke about the sense that my heart just keeps breaking open. A friend asked what that looks like. The best answer I could give is that I’m filling with compassion to the extent that I can no longer tolerate things that are not Love. That I feel both a sense of urgency and also a call to slow down and savor. To pause and notice the teeny tiny buds, to listen to the birds, to not miss life’s unfolding. To really be present with a friend. To reach out and put everything else aside so that I can just listen and hear what’s going on in her heart. To stop telling my son what to do, but to get curious, ask, and give him space to open his heart to me. To share our thoughts, our feelings with a sense that what we’re up to is somehow very, very sacred.

And, also, urgency… I feel a pull to show up more and more authentically, to speak up, to speak out, to be part of the revolutionary work I am called to. To notice that there are more causes that need attention than I can even imagine, and if I try to take them all on, I will be completely burnt out and ineffective in everything I do. So, slowing down, asking within and getting clear on what causes I am here to serve. Howard Thurman’s words live in my heart:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

The energy of these words pulses through my heart and veins. I can literally feel it calling me to life. Letting go of ideas I’ve had about who I was or what I should be doing – allowing them to die away so that I can be reborn into this new day. Aligning more and more with what Parker Palmer calls my “soul’s imperative…” That call which I cannot deny.

Can you feel this within yourself? This letting go or dying off of old things, old ways, as you step into new life with fresh energy, new possibility, new beginnings to be born anew as this next version of you?

When I witness people release a career that’s been bogging them down for decades and allow themselves to feel the excitement of a fresh possibility, as they allow their creative muse to take them to a dream that’s been hidden or a light that beckons, I can feel them coming to life! There is a tingling in the air when someone listens to the call of their heart or soul. When someone says “Yes!” to a dream they have no idea how to fulfill. When they simply take that first small step. Life in the making!

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Unknown and Uncertainty

4/25/2022

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Sitting with these ideas for today’s #AtoZChallenge. We live in a world of uncertainty, and we are always stepping into the unknown, individually and collectively. Depending on what that unknown is can fill us with excitement or anxiety, hope or dread.

Sometimes it’s clear that we are in a state of transition – leaving a job or relationship, graduating college, getting married, moving across the country, having a baby… in these cases, we know we are leaving behind a familiar life to enter into a new one. What we don’t always see so readily is that we are always in transition. Our bodies, our reality, our relationships, minds and ideas are continually morphing and evolving.

Other people fill us with their fears, worries, or faith, which may or may not be helpful. Each of us is living in the unknown, uncertain of what’s to come. Most of us don’t like to admit or accept that. So, we do what we can to control, to create some level of imagined certainty.

We make decisions and choices, take actions trying to ensure the outcome we desire, unwilling to admit we can only take the next best step for the best chance of the things we hope for. There is freedom in accepting that truth.

The only things that are known or certain are those things that have already happened.

And, so, what keeps us going? Why do we continue to show up? I guess because the unknown also offers the possibility of things beyond our imagination. Our negativity bias causes us to focus on what could go wrong, but at the same time our spirit and soul call us to what could be wonderful or amazing.

Knowing is actually way less interesting than we admit. Who would watch a multi-hour sports event or movie if they knew how it was going to end? (Well, unless, like me, you’ve seen it before and you don’t remember or you don’t care because the story is so enthralling!).

We spend hours of worry about how our lives or our loved ones’ lives will go. We humans are fascinating! Playing this game of strategy and faith, effort and flow, making moves, taking chances, riding on hope. And, there it is again, that mighty force that some call weak.

Hope encourages us, supports us to say yes to the proposal, to take the stage, to leave the toxic relationship and head out on our own. To put down the drink or drug that has consistently brought comfort to see if there might be a better life without it. The hope that tomorrow will be a better day nudges us forward. Something has to push us, pull us to leave the known and risk the vast uncertainty of the unknown. To wake up and step into a new day and see where it takes you.

“When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly.”
― Patrick Overton, The leaning tree

My favorite days are “Let’s see where the spirit takes us” days. Days with absolutely no plans, and where we let go of control, just checking in moment by moment to see what we’d like to do. What we want to eat? Is this a time to rest, read, or go for a walk? What adventure calls to our hearts? What might be fun? What would feel comforting and nourishing?

To find the ability to flow with it, gently, sweetly, one moment at a time. Not needing an agenda. Not needing to know. It can be uncomfortable, but it can also be wonderfully delightful when I pause and listen within, feel into the longing of my heart and soul, let go of the worry of wasted time.

This is where I sit right now. Is this a day to relax and write? To bake? To go to a movie? In the sweetness of no schedule, I don’t know. And, I am savoring the unknown. It gives me permission to decide, to choose, to see… These are my favorite days. The ones not dictated by meetings, classes, work, commitments, or appointments. They are a rare gift in a busy world. “Seizing” this day does not mean it has to be productive or anything other than what it is. It only asks me to show up and be with it, as it is, as it unfolds.

And, yet, feeling the uncertainty of our future, having just watched the memorial video of a young man gone too son, compels me to invite us all to live a life we will remember. To love openly, to care deeply, to hug our people, to capture memories, and make new ones. This life is so precious because of its uncertainty. We don’t have to strive to make things happen, but we don’t want to miss what’s here.

What grounds you as you find yourself swirling in the midst of uncertainty? What helps you stay steady as you step into the great unknown? What practices do you have that hold you most reliably when times are tough? For me, meditation, morning pages, yoga, getting outdoors in the beauty of nature bring me home, and connecting with those I love is critical.

What does it mean to you to live a life you will remember? What’s calling you? What feels most meaningful and important these days? Has that changed over the years? I know, for me, I have little desire to go back to how I used to be when I was much younger. And I do long to step into my next chapter from a place of purpose and joy.

A few recommendations and invitations for you:
Katrina Kenison writes beautifully about life and its various stages, looking at transitions and life changes. I have recently finished Magical Journey: An Apprenticeship in Contentment, a beautiful book for women in midlife, changing roles and relationships with growing children, finding themselves again after career and parenting change. I highly recommend this as well as The Gift of an Ordinary Day: A Mother’s Memoir of Letting Go. Both books and her blogs, which are beautiful and thought-provoking, call us to be present to the everyday moments as our lives and relationships grow, evolve, and become their next version.

Here are a couple of musical accompaniments for this life journey:
The Nights by Avicii – “Live a life you will remember!”
I Did It All by Vince Myers

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Forgetting How to Hurry

3/21/2022

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Transitioning, Adjusting, Reflecting…

We got back home last Monday evening, and I wanted to share with you some reflections as I'm slowly transitioning from what life has been like for the past 2 ½ months into “typical home life.” It's kind of fascinating to witness myself as if looking in from the outside. I've lived in this house for 4 ½ years and in this area most of my life, and yet I feel as if I'm meeting myself here anew this week.

Since January I've had no appointments to drive to, no people to connect with in person, and lots and lots of 1:1 time with Tom (my hubby). We've both worked virtually during that time - I have met with clients and participated in a number of trainings and professional development, but there's something different about getting back from the beach or out of the shower in time for a phone or Zoom call than having to get in a car to drive somewhere. Also, I have only driven about 5 times in the past 10 weeks! Life has had a sweet and simple rhythm and flow.

Now I'm moving back into our more typical way of being… as soon as we got home, I had to rush to eat my supper while Tom unloaded the car before I jumped into a 4 hour training. Our drifting into our own little worlds was already underway.

He brought all the stuff in and, exhausted from two full days of travel, we both agreed to leave bags and boxes to be dealt with later. I did notice how much easier it is to unpack and settle into the rental home than it is to unpack and settle back into our own space. In part because I have to fit all the traveling stuff into all the other stuff that's here. I have been very struck by a sense of “too much stuff…” Going into a rental condo is different - in that scenario we are adding ourselves into the space, finding places to make it our own, to create comfort and flow.

Forgetting How to Hurry…
By bedtime I couldn't sleep because my mind was still stirring and my body was uncomfortable and there was noise that disrupted me. I didn't sleep well and I woke up the next morning needing to get ready for a 10:30 appointment. As I began my preparations I recognized that I had forgotten how to hurry. That was both delightful (and something I want to remember to forget) and a little concerning because I did actually have to drive 30 minutes to get to my chiropractor.

Following the Heart and Soul…
Thankfully I moved quickly enough while still at a pace that worked for me to make it on time. In the waiting room I ran into a friend who told me how she and her husband had fairly rapidly followed a long-time dream and were moving to Florida! After starting to look at properties, within a month they had found and bought a house that meets both of their needs and desires, sold theirs (within 5 days after 60+ showings and 30+ offers…for a lot more money than asking price) and things are coming together beautifully.

Seeing her joy and sense of freedom reminded me what it's like to follow the call of the heart and soul! It's how I left my job and started my practice, how we ended up here in this house on the water, and how we've now wintered down South for 3 years! It seems that sometimes when you say “yes” and genuinely feel all in, there's a whoosh of energy that gets things flowing. It's not magic, but it certainly can be magical! It was nice to feel that in her and to share in her celebration!

Perspective and compassion
You might remember me griping about the “yelling people” downstairs who were definitely adding some stress and angst to our days and nights in Hilton Head. When we left I wrote a card to mail to them and resisted the temptation to be snarky or mean. Instead I simply offered them an anonymous loving kindness wish: “May you be peaceful. May you be happy. May you be safe. May you be healthy. May you live with ease" along with an invitation to embrace the beautiful moments in this new day. I'm not sure why I felt called to do that, but I did. Seeing this young family with 3 or 4 little ones crammed into such a small space did give me some compassion and I knew I had no idea what was going on in their life.

I had mentioned to our hosts that we might not be back because of the frequent yelling and screaming. Our host checked into the situation and discovered that this family were relatives of the owners who were staying there because they were unable to return to their home in Guatemala due to Covid restrictions. Whew… that could add a certain level of stress, couldn't it!? So glad I had sent loving kindness and not nastiness!

Just a good reminder that we never know what other people are going through and that extending love and compassion is always the best choice.

Transitioning and Adjusting
My whole being is happier and more relaxed when there is sunshine and warmth, so coming back to this grey bleak time of year is a little tough. I am very much appreciating a friend's picture posts of her trip to Hawaii and can feel the longing in my own soul for that vibrant color of flowers and water. I've lived here mostly forever, but each year I find myself less and less tolerant of the cold and grey (hence the whole wintering away!).

As I move through the house, I'm finding myself having to pause and remember where are the glasses? where do I put these clothes? What DO I eat for breakfast in the cooler weather? And I'm also assessing as I put things away, “Do you deserve to take up precious space in this little home?” I'm throwing things away and gathering clothes to donate. I can feel a strong desire for Spring cleaning and purging! I even organized the junk drawer in the bathroom and cleaned the shelves in the cabinet before unpacking and adding in what has come back with us.

Even though I am back home, it's an adjustment. Even though we are always in transition, these moments feel particularly clunky as I settle back in. I am meeting myself where I am in this moment, gently, carefully discerning with each appointment, are you someone I want to continue to work with? Do I need appointments as often as I did before? What feels right to me in this season of my life?

As I feel the “too muchness” in so many ways and the longing for spaciousness, for color, fresh air, and sunshine, for slowing down, I am choosing carefully how to spend my time. For instance, this evening I chose a walk with Tom over joining a group I love on Zoom - my soul just needed to get out there on this 62 degree day when the sun was out! Rhythms and routines are different here. We're finding our way. The kindness I promised myself this week is to not overwhelm my schedule and to unpack slowly and gradually while I also tend to the things that have to get done.

Good thing I forgot how to hurry! I am going to do my best to hold onto that. I look forward to less frenzy and more flow. (We listened to a great podcast on our drive home with Brene Brown and Dr. Shawn Ginwright which touches on this idea - you can listen to that here if you'd like)

And I offer you this poem, which has sometimes been used to pressure people to do more. I think actually the real intent and invitation is to do less… “to be idle and blessed,"… to not miss the simple pleasures and delights of an ordinary day.

The Summer Day
by Mary Oliver
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean--
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down--
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

This week's meditation is Forgetting How to Hurry, and it includes a reading of “The Rat Race” from 111 Invitations: Step into the Full Richness of Life. May it support you in taking a brief pause in your day.

More thoughts (and still seeking your input)! Blogging A-to-Z Challenge:
Thank you to those who shared some ideas with me for this challenge! I'm in! (I even bought the t-shirt so it's official!). Every day in the month of April, except Sundays, I will post a theme-related blog based on the letter of the day.

The working title for my theme is Question (Almost) Everything! Inspired by Kate Bowler’s Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I’ve Loved, I thought it might be fun to live into some questions – to look at our conditioning, the stories, actions, and beliefs we’ve bought into and why we do and say some of these things. Who taught us to believe this, where and when did we pick up this idea, and what might we choose instead?

What do you think? What questions do you have that I might explore? What conditioning are you curious about? What belief, cultural narrative, actions, or simple pithy sayings drive you crazy? Send me a note and let me know, please! I'll need some help coming up with something for every letter! And for some letters I have multiple ideas, so if this goes well, who knows? Could become an ongoing thing!

The blogs will be posted on my blog and will only be emailed to people who choose to receive them. Thanks to those who have already subscribed to this special list. Email me if you too would like to receive these A to Z posts!

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Out of the Darkness...Into the Light

12/21/2020

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Today marks the winter solstice here in the Northern Hemisphere. On this darkest day of the year, the pivotal moment between dark and light, it is the perfect time to honor the darkness that has come into our lives through addiction. It is a time to honor those who have been lost to the disease, to remember them with love. It is a time to honor the struggle and the perseverance of those who are on the journey of recovery, and to honor ourselves and other loved ones who have also found a way through the darkness.

In honoring the darkness and in grieving the losses we have endured, we bring those moments into the light. When we bring them into the light, they are no longer hiding in the shadows, lurking in shame, or hidden in silence. We claim and name our experience. We see it for what it has been. We presence it.

When we do this, we are able to step forward into the light. Just as the days begin to get longer with a bit more light from tomorrow on, we too can begin to bring more light into our homes and our beings.

Addiction is a painful disease, as you undoubtedly know. It affects everyone in its wake and can take down entire families with the weight of its suffering.

However (and this is a big however), the journey from darkness to light does not have to take us out forever. It is possible to find hope, joy, peace, love, and to create a brighter tomorrow, even when we have been impacted by addiction.

If you are reading this, you are alive, and for that fact alone there is reason to celebrate. You have been given the opportunity to live one more day. What will you do with this one precious life you have been given? How will you set your soul free to express itself? What is uniquely yours to do?

Is there some way to honor your journey up to this very moment--the good, the bad, and the ugly, the full messiness of it all? The painful, the joyous, the fearfulness, and the hope? Whatever it’s looked like in the past, today marks a new day, albeit a short one. Tomorrow offers the light of fresh possibility, as each day does. How do you want to step into tomorrow?

If we are able to find a way to turn our pain (or darkness) into possibility (or light), we can transform these heavy experiences into something that serve and support us and others. We can show up for life more fully. We can become who we were born to be.

Let’s face it, 2020 has carried a full load of darkness, collectively, along with anything that you might have experienced personally.

For many the holidays are emotionally-charged times and may bring in a healthy mix of emotions… sadness, joy, celebration, loneliness. I know I will be feeling both sadness for those who are not with us during this holiday season as well as joy and gratitude for those who are.

There is room for it all. When we allow ourselves to feel it all, to allow our hearts to carry this messy mix of what makes us human, we are able to move through it.

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ~ Brene Brown

So, let this pivotal day be a day that marks the honoring of both the dark and the light. Let us take a step back and look at the big picture of our lives and recognize that our experiences have not been all good or all bad, but rather a mix of both.

Addiction can entomb us with its heavy cloak of darkness if we let it, but we can choose to lift up the corner of that cloak and peek outside. We can lay down the heaviness and step into the light. We get to choose.

We may well prefer the moments of lightness, light-heartedness, and light in general, but there is also a gift to receive during the dark and challenging times. We must be willing to sit with this part of our reality if we are to truly enjoy the light.

I have found that it is in the dark where I have grown the most. I wonder if that might be true for you as well. I offer you this poem for consideration.

The Places We Grow
It’s in the dark,
in the shadows,
where we stretch and grow.

We face ourselves
and see a new or forgotten aspect,
a piece we’d rather ignore or deny.

But there it is…
staring us down,
daring us to change,
to find a new way,
or to simply come into acceptance.

Sometimes it’s about overcoming
or adjusting.
Finding a way to do this with
love, compassion,
and gentle communion.

Honoring the self…
who I am,
where I am,
what I need,
what my baggage is.

And stepping into a deeper layer,
excavating and shifting,
allowing new light in,
and new hope out.

These are the places we grow –
often watered
and nourished with tears.
© Barb Klein, 2016, “The Places We Grow,” from 111 Invitations: Step into the Full Richness of Life

Where and how can you nourish yourself today? How might you allow some new light in--to your being, to your life? How can you allow a little more hope to shine into the world?

Begin by greeting yourself exactly where you are--gently, with tenderness, care, and compassion. Offer yourself the space and grace to feel into what’s alive within your heart at this moment. Ask your heart what it needs at this moment to be truly nurtured and nourished. Then respond accordingly. You deserve your own loving care.

We are on the cusp of a new year and we can only hope that 2021 is bringing with it new possibility, hope, and fresh beginnings. Today let’s pause. Let’s look at our lives and our loved ones with reverence. Let’s honor this journey where we have walked, crawled, and stumbled while we look ahead to the light of new creativity. Let’s let this darkest day of the year—December 21-- be a personal pivotal moment for us to enter an illuminated future.

* Originally published in MomPower. org

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How Might Gratitude Support You?

11/22/2017

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At this time of year gratitude and thankfulness are everywhere. So I have been reflecting on how gratitude serves us, particularly when times are tough.

Gratitude in times of Transition

Transition and change, whether they are wanted or not, are uncomfortable and challenging. They rock our world and throw us into unfamiliar and even more uncertain than usual territory. Recently having gone through a big move, I’ve had a chance to feel this earth-shattering reality, even though I was making a change I very much wanted.

One of the things that kept me grounded throughout the ups and downs of house buying and selling was my daily gratitude practice. Why? Because at times when I was irrationally terrified, it balanced my perspective with a look at the things that were at least all right in my daily life. It offset the natural human tendency to look at what’s wrong or anticipate the next disaster that might be lurking just around the corner.

When I was filled with excitement, joy, and eager anticipation, gratitude helped me to celebrate and take that in. As much as we have a tendency to notice the “negative,” we also often seem to be conditioned to downplay or dismiss “positive” moments. The pause of appreciative reflection allows us to take in and enjoy these happy moments.

What is Gratitude?

Gratitude is about noticing things we appreciate and coming into relationship with what IS. Sometimes we can even be grateful for fear, anger, or sadness because they reveal something to me that needs to be seen – they uncover a layer of reality. Gratitude isn’t always about sunshine and rainbows! It also isn’t about jumping over sad, angry or fearful feelings to get to a place of feeling good or looking for the silver lining. But, it can help open us to see beyond what’s right in front of us that may feel all-consuming.

How Can Gratitude Support Me?

So, how might gratitude support you if you are going through a transition? If you’ve recently lost a job or a relationship, and you’re not sure what lies ahead, it might be tough to see or feel anything positive. But if you were to take a few moments each day to find even the smallest thing to appreciate, it could shift not only your view of life but how you show up in life, to your family, and to the world at large (including to people you might be interviewing with or asking for support).

Research has shown that people who practice gratitude are healthier, have more optimism and happiness, create stronger relationships, and are more generous. These sound like traits of someone I’d want to be around (or hire!)… how about you?

What IS a Gratitude Practice?

What’s a gratitude practice look like? Whatever you want it to! The key is to not make it a big “to do” or one more thing to add to your list of tasks to complete. Find a way to bring in gratitude that feels supportive and nourishing for you. Different things work for different people. The first step is to slow down enough to even make the inquiry and notice what am I grateful for? If you’re not in the habit of thinking this way or asking yourself that question, it may take a while to shift from your regularly programmed thinking.

Here are some ideas to get you started. Maybe upon waking you reflect on a few things you are grateful for before you even get out of bed; this is a beautiful way to start your day and can really influence how you approach whatever is before you. You might want to keep a gratitude journal and jot down things you appreciate throughout the day. Perhaps what works for you is an evening reflection before bed. It’s a soothing bedtime routine and a great counter to the all too common thought that often creeps in that says “That day was a waste.” or “Wow, what a horrible day I had!” It doesn’t matter whether you write, mentally note, or speak out loud your gratitude as long as you’ve taken some time to notice and acknowledge it.

Even on some of my most horrible days, I’ve been able to find things that I am truly, honestly grateful for – the cleansing tears that allowed my broken heart to crack open a little bit more and relieved me of having to hold it together; having a pillow to scream into and punch when my anger consumed me; loud music and a good car scream; the friend who made me laugh even when I wanted to cry or the friend who simply sat with me and let me feel what I was feeling.

Don’t know where to get started? How about appreciating having clean air to breathe, fresh running water to drink, sunshine, a roof over your head, a fresh idea, or the beauty of birdsong. Don’t force it. Begin with what feels true to you. Notice something you truly do appreciate. Then mentally reflect, write it, draw it, paint it, sing it, share it with a loved one… whatever works for you!

If you’d like some practices to support you in cultivating gratitude, you might visit Greater Good In Action, where you will find several simple meditations and exercises to get you started or to enhance an existing practice.

Have fun exploring how gratitude might support you. Please let us know what you discover!!

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OK, So THAT Happened… Now What?

11/14/2016

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My husband and I have a way of saying, “Sooooo, that just happened,” in unbelievable moments when our world has just been rocked, and we’re trying to find our footing a bit. It helps us to take a step back, smack ourselves back into reality, and realize that we have to figure out what our next move will be.

Election 2016 in the US is behind us. Thank goodness, because, quite frankly, it’s one of the most ugly, upsetting, and divisive things I’ve experienced in my 52 years of life! And, sadly, the ugliness has not gone away.

And, if like me, you found yourself reeling as the states were called and what felt like an impossibility became possible and then very real, you might be trying to find your ground now and trying to figure out how to move forward.

It’s been almost a week and it’s clear that many are still reeling, and that is totally okay. As one of my teachers said today, “This isn’t like losing the World Series.” No, this is far bigger and far more important.

For those of you who are grieving now, feeling sad, angry, confused, lost, hopeless, fearful, and don’t know what to do next, I stand with you and I offer you this post. It is easy to sink into despair and project out into the future with doom and gloom scenarios. It’s all too easy to engage in defensive or attacking battle in the social media world. With the rhetoric that has been spewed, the anger-inciting behavior we’ve witnessed, the early actions taken, and the violent reactions we’re seeing, it’s easy to go there.

Let me reassure you all that I am not offering any Pollyanna BS, nor am I asking you to find a silver lining. I will not pretend to hold your answers, and I will not tell you to get over this. Nor do I intend to add fuel to the fire and rile you up for battle. My hope is only to walk with you as we move into tomorrow.

It’s taken me days to finish this post because I am swimming in my own confusion and in the murkiness of all that’s being hurled around in the news and on Facebook. Never before have I seen such a free-for-all of opinion sharing, judgment, shame, blame, and flat out attacks on those who view the world and the situation differently.

I’ve certainly had my own opinions, shared my own views, and openly questioned things that simply couldn’t land in my heart and head. I’ve been uncharacteristically vocal during this election and in its aftermath because it feels too important not to be silent. And I make no pretense of being “holier than thou” here. I am doing the best I can with what I’ve got.

So, what now? Early on November 9, my first move after hearing the news was to turn to my teachers via social media to see how they were reacting. And, what I found was…nothing. Crickets… They weren’t there yet, because they too were reeling. They had no more inspiration to offer in the midst of shock than I did. They were taking their own time to be stunned, to feel, to grieve, and to maybe come to some level of groundedness before they could speak.

As I struggled with my own shock, sadness, grief, fear, and confusion, after I sobbed… after I got to yoga and moved a bit, I came home to myself and to the wisdom of my many teachers. I share it with you now in the hopes that perhaps some of it may be useful for you in this or other turbulent times.

From Tara Brach – Ask the poignant question, “Are you at war with reality?” This election is over. The results are in, and I only cause myself more suffering by denying it with screams of “Nooooooo!” or spinning into “How, how, how did this happen?” Though these were certainly among my first reactions. Being at war with what is does not serve me; I need to find a way to accept it as reality, though I do not have to like it or get over it. I have to come to terms with what’s before me.

From Renee Trudeau – Pause. It is so essential to stop and just breathe for a moment when it seems like everything is in a frenzy. Pause to create some space around what’s happening. Pause to find my breath. Pause to tune into what’s coming up for me and within me.

From Tara again (and Renee and Jen Louden who reinforce this regularly) – Be with what’s here. Notice what’s happening in my body. Feel into it. Don’t try to chase it away, but just be with it. Notice it, allow it, and then nurture myself in the loving way I would a dear friend. Feel the pain and the suffering. Do not jump over it or try to do a bypass of it. Be with it.
From Renee again – Remember the critical importance of self-care and her beautiful definition: “Self-care is the art of attuning and responding to our needs and desires, moment to moment.” What is it I need in this moment? The pausing and the noticing gives me a shot at answering this question. This is all I can do. Only by taking good care of me can I have any hope of offering anything to anyone else. I must begin here now that I’ve found and caught my breath.

“I will not abandon myself!” This has been my most powerful mantra since I first learned it from Renee a couple of years ago. Nothing and no one can take me away from my values, what I stand for, what’s true and integral for me. And, I need to remember first and foremost to be here for myself in loving kindness and gentleness as I notice what’s up and again offer myself the space to be real with what’s here and to nurture myself accordingly.

From Jen Louden – Remember to believe in our essential goodness – my own and everyone else’s. This is a hard one right now because it doesn’t feel like love, kindness, compassion, or goodness have been at play to bring about this outcome. And, yet, the people who voted for Trump are the same neighbors and community members they were yesterday – the sweet couple with their little girl behind me in line to vote. I don’t know who his voters are, but for the most part, I believe they’re voting their conscience. I believe this, even when we strongly disagree on so much. And, beyond the extremists who voice their hatred and bigotry openly and loudly, I do not believe labelling an entire group of people is helpful or fair.

I need to remember our common humanity, and that we have more in common than not. Putting people into camps of “us” vs. “them” does not serve me or anyone else and only deepens the divide. Yet, this is what I continue to see playing out over and over in thread after thread. It’s exhausting and it’s disheartening. This does not serve the future of our country. We’ve been there before. The Civil War springs immediately to mind. I’m not looking for a replay of that.

From Laura Berman Fortgang – “Discomfort = growth.” There is tons of discomfort here, so where is the opportunity for growth? Where are the opportunities to show up? What is my discomfort bringing up and what is it calling me to? Nothing changes when we stay comfortable. This election certainly has shaken us up and feels like a wake-up call. We can’t go back to sleep.

From my own life experience – Sometimes it takes being shaken up to get out of complacency. Often it’s from the darkest moments that we do our greatest work. Life is calling us to show up now – our wisdom, our love, our debate, our commitment, our passion, our questions, our action – they’re being shaken awake and we need them all.

I remembered the things that ground me, that bring me back to clarity. I remembered to come home to myself. For me this means I need silence, stillness, space and time for reflection and meditation. I need to get to yoga. I need to write. I need to find my breath and anchor there when there is nothing else that I can grasp onto. I need to surround myself with mindful people and have honest conversations; connection feels really important right now. I need to try to tap into faith, and I’m finding that hard. I need to remember that I’m resilient as hell, and so are we as a collective. We will get through. What it will look like on the other side, I don’t know.

From the recovery world – You have to hit bottom before you can sober up and get on the road to recovery. These are sobering times, for sure. Maybe this is our bottom.

One of the things that came out in this election which greatly saddened me was the clarity of how deeply divided we are, of how far we have NOT come since Martin Luther King Jr. or Susan B. Anthony. It also saddened me to think that the “change” we just voted for might actually set us back in time and deepen the divide. We’ve been given many reasons to believe it could.

So, it was a sobering day for many of us and it’s been a turbulent, sobering, and explosive time in the past week. And, so the road to recovery lies before us, and we can step on it as we are ready, when we are ready, and not until we are. For now, be where you are… feel it rather than stuff it, but don’t get stuck in the swamp of doom and gloom never to rise again – we need you.

So, we find a force that motivates and mobilizes us – whether it’s the power of hope, or the strong drive for justice. We listen to where we are being called. And, when we hear the call (which will be different for each of us), we show up. It could be for the environment, civil rights, healthcare, or poverty – there are so many areas that need you. Where are you being called and how might you begin to take action there and make the impact that only you can?

Perhaps it’s time we don’t rely on the government for funding or support. Dark times often lead us to do great things.

The reality is that how YOU show up to your life matters. Nothing has changed this. How you show up (positively or negatively) ripples out. What energy do you want to bring as we move forward? For move forward we must, each in our own time. I know some are not ready yet. I’m not sure I am, but I do know that the sun keeps rising and the moon still moves steadily through its cycles. As one of my friends noted last week, I take comfort in the rhythms of nature.

What is it that will carry you on, one step at a time into the tomorrow we walk toward together? What will comfort you and nourish you in a time when your energy is needed? Who do you want in your world? Who’s your support and who challenges you to greatness? What are the practices that can bring you back to “this moment?” What will stop you from projecting out to an unknown future? We must begin where we are. And, whatever you do, please do not go back to sleep.

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Life is Precious

2/16/2016

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Recently I have been reminded of the preciousness of life in many ways. These wake-up calls to the impermanence of life come up regularly, and we remember for a short time. Then we so easily slip back into business as usual. And, yet, the urgency never leaves. The urgency to live life now. To remember that this is not a dress rehearsal or a step toward something greater than this moment. This is it – our only guaranteed moment is the one we are in right now. Today. This moment. Now is the time to live, to love, to show up to all that you are, to let your light shine. Why wait?

In the past week in my very small circle of awareness:
- a baby enters the world in timing that is considered “too early”

- a young girl, barely into her teens takes her own life, far too soon, robbing herself of any possible tomorrows or a better future

- an older teen learns to feel the pain of a friend who’s lost his sibling and finds a little more love and appreciation in his heart for his own family

- a young man loses touch with his worth and steps back on the path of self-sabotage, numbing the pain in the only way he knows

- a great man who has humbly walked among us asking “How may I serve?” leaves his body prematurely and joins the angelic realm

- a mother mourns the unimaginable loss of a murdered child and begins her own long, tenuous, and tortuous healing journey

- A mother loses herself briefly, drowning in her child’s pain, and then finds herself again, remembering her strength, purpose and passion that goes beyond parenting. She shows up to life once again, ready to create and be all that she was born to be, all that she can be.

Most of this is happening only in my periphery, and yet it touches my heart and wakes up my soul. I am left to remember that none of this is for me to judge, question, or change, but only to be with.To trust. To love.To forgive. To find compassion even when it feels impossible. It’s been quite a powerful week…

Everywhere in every moment, this cycle of life rolls on… birth, death, re-birth. We cannot control it, no matter how hard we try. We cannot stop it. We may never understand it or be ok with it. But, we can miss a lot if we keep on trying to fix, figure out, and control stuff that is not ours.

What we can do is commit to ourselves to stand for life – today we commit to show up to the world as the most authentic version of ourselves in every moment. For when we show up in truth and authenticity, grace follows. As we release the struggle and resistance to what “should not be,” we free ourselves and open to broader perspective and new possibility. How might you show up today? What do you stand for? Where can you let go a little and free yourself in the process?

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Pause...

1/6/2015

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I’m writing a somewhat different New Year’s message than most, and I write it as much as a caution to myself as to anyone else. I am an avid learner. I am committed to my own growth and the growth of others. And, I can easily overload myself with more input than I can possibly take in in this lifetime! Pause – stop – take a breath – reflect – tune in before you sign up for every program to make you a “better” person, entrepreneur, partner, etc… Before you commit to lose weight, get in shape, organize everything in your life, earn six figures (preferably in the next 6 weeks), slow down and evaluate. Is this right for me? How is my time and energy best spent? How much time and energy do I really have? How much input can my brain handle and how much do I really want to give it?

What do I most need to feel enriched, fulfilled, energized, supported, and on track for MY goals, for what’s truly most important to me, not what every ad is shouting at me that I need. It’s overwhelming and it’s way too easy to get swept up in the energy of self-improvement that is like a tidal wave after New Year’s day.

The truth is each day, each moment holds the promise of potential and possibility. So, take it easy as you find your own way to your true happiness, fulfillment, and success.

Maybe other people’s goals aren’t yours. Maybe what you need is more down time, more time for true renewal, or more special time with those you love. I encourage you to pause and really listen to your heart, your wisdom that knows what’s best for you. Take some time to consciously, mindfully commit to putting energy, time, and money into those things that will really nurture, excite, and support you to be the best you.

You don’t need to be a “better person” as one ad I heard says – you simply need to honor yourself and make space for the best version of you to emerge. You will find this in silence, in reflection, in pause rather than in reacting to frenetic pleas that all tell you you aren’t good enough as you are.

When you do feel a strong pull from within to something, pay attention, impose your own urgency and get going. Because it’s right for you.

You don’t need to be fixed. You aren’t broken. You are enough. Exactly as you are right now. Free yourself from others’ messages, expectations, and judgments so that you can truly discern what works for you.

What would your ideal day, week, month, year look like? Who would be part of your world? How would you spend your time? What movement does your body really enjoy? What foods nourish and energize you? What practices restore and renew you? Who fills you with joy and inspiration?

Rather than being pushed by shame and guilt to change or remove what you don’t want or don’t like, let yourself be inspired by what you want to bring in, what you want more of, what fills you up so that you can let your light shine in 2015! Pause. Start here.

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Where do You Quit on Yourself?

8/7/2014

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This is a topic we all encounter in at least one critical area of our life, even if we’ve got it locked in in others! Because the topic is so big and multi-dimensional, this is Part 1 of a multi-part series.

You know you want something (to lose weight, save money for that dream vacation/house/car, de-clutter your
space, start a new business, take that seminar)...  You start toward your goal with energy, enthusiasm, and excitement, and
before too long you’re heading back to where you started.  What happened?

For me, this happens in the weight loss/physical fitness arena. Today I am re-committing to myself to eat and exercise consciously and consistently because I know how much better I feel and function all around when I do. So, it’s a good time to write this article!

Here are some reasons why I quit on myself – can you relate to any of them?

1. It’s hard! (Insert best whiney voice here!) Yes, it’s hard to create new ways. It’s hard to change.  It’s hard to plan for healthy meals, find time and energy to work out, and it’s hard to resist temptations.

2. It’s not really “that bad.” I’m lucky that I don’t have to lose that much weight, and I can hide my problem areas very well with clothes (being tall pays off big-time here!). So, even though I know the truth of where the fat hides, what I’d like to look like, and how much better it feels when I start to firm up, slim down, and feed my body healthier food, it’s easy to lay off and convince myself that the current state isn’t “that bad.” I have no health threats, and my weight falls within the normal range.
Complacency sets in and I move nowhere or revert right back to my comfortable starting point.

This can easily happen when it comes to wanting to leave a job, end an unhealthy relationship, or change any habit.
Suddenly you find yourself in a bad way – now you have a health crisis, you get fired, and now you have to make changes from a place of panic and fear. This is not nearly as easy as it is when you are “simply” choosing to make a change.

3. The programs don’t work – maybe you (like me) have joined weight loss groups, paid a hefty sum for gym membership, subscribed to health magazines, enrolled in some classes, and maybe even enlisted a buddy to do this with you… and it’s still not working! What’s that all about?

It turns out it takes more than money and aspiration to make a change. It takes a true investment of the heart, of time, and of energy.

So, if you find yourself in a situation where things aren’t happening for you when you said you wanted change, ask yourself these question to see what might be getting in your way:

Am I really ready for this?
Is now the right time in your life to make this change or are other things going on to get in your way?
This is a tricky one because most likely there will never be a perfect time when all the stars and planets align, everyone in your world is supporting you, your finances are stellar, and there are no bumps in your road.

So, don’t let this become an excuse to not do what you truly want to do, but do notice if you might be piling on beyond what is realistic for you given your current life situation.

And, perhaps the most important question:

Am I really willing?
Am I really willing to do what it takes to create what I want?
Is it really worth it? Do I even know what it will take?
Will there be sacrifices, and am I willing to make them?

Creating change requires commitment, planning, consistency, support, and accountability.
Does it matter enough to me to get out of my comfort zone?
What’s in it for me to motivate me enough to take the necessary steps in a new direction?

Get quiet and take some time to reflect and journal your answers for yourself.  See what comes up as you consider an area where change is not coming in the way that you’d like. Be brutally honest with yourself. There is no one here to fool.
Nothing to prove to anyone else. This is your journey to do in whatever way works for you.

Post your comments here and let us know what you’re learning about what’s getting in your way.
And, if you are really ready and willing, what will you do differently today to get going toward creating what you want?
It all begins with one small step!

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Revival!

Life, Death, and Rebirth

Unknown and Uncertainty

Forgetting How to Hurry

Out of the Darkness...Into the Light

How Might Gratitude Support You?

OK, So THAT Happened… Now What?

Life is Precious

Pause...

Where do You Quit on Yourself?

About me...

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