Inspired Possibility Blog

No Pressure. Presence.

5/18/2022

Right here, right now. This is the only moment I am guaranteed. So, how do I want to live it? Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What impact do I want to have on those around me and on some small piece of the world?

(It’s becoming clear why my theme for April’s A to Z Blog Challenge was Question (Almost) Everything! I do love questions and what they open up within us!)

Last week I wrote about Life, Death, and Rebirth as related to what I see happening in the world, particularly in this season of Spring. I wasn’t necessarily thinking about what happens within each one of us.

But, if we are alive, and we are to die (and we aren’t really certain about rebirth, though I have my ideas), how to make this moment, this day count is a powerful, compelling question to sit with. No pressure… simply presence. Awareness. Choice.

Every single one of us knows we will die – that this life will end. And, for whatever reason, we sometimes forget to live with that truth as a guiding light. We act as if we have forever – endless, limitless time.

Your Last Day

What would you do
if you learned you had
one day to live?
No second chance…
this was it.

What changes would you make?
Who would you connect with?
How would you spend your time?
What would you let go of?

Why do we act as if
we have an endless reservoir of time,
so we’ll get to it “some day?”

The truth is, none of us know
when we will leave this earth.
So, why do we wait?
Why are we so out of touch
or careless with our ways
and our days?

We all know we have
limited time here.
Why do we pretend otherwise?
Why wait to forgive,
and love,
and be our full, beautiful selves?

This is so basic
so simple,
so profound,
and so overlooked.

Not wanting to
think about death,
we fail to live
as if life really mattered.

Let’s wake up and begin today
to cherish the people,
the moments,
the perfect expressions of self.
And live as if today,
this moment,
was all we had.

©Barb Klein, 2016 from 111 Invitations: Step into the Full Richness of Life

We put things off or we wait for the big dream to come true before we can be happy. We wait til everything is “just right” before we get married, have a baby, move, or retire. We hesitate, feeling not ready until we take one more class, do one more edit, get one more certification. We fail to hit "send" on the manuscript. Sometimes we wait too long. I’ve seen people retire with grand dreams and die very soon after, before they have had a chance to do any of the things they put off.

So, how do we live while we’re here? One thing I learned from my beautiful vibrant friend, Mary Lally, is to “live your f’in life!” Thankfully, she had a doctor who gave her this advice, even when she was living with the uncertainty of advanced stage ovarian cancer in the time of Covid. She knew that this moment is the one we are guaranteed – take it. Show up for it. This is my intention, no matter what the future holds.

To live life doesn’t mean you have to do big or grand things. “Small” things count so much and may constitute the majority of our days.

How do I want to live this day? With love. With joy. With hope. Inviting in new beginnings and fresh possibilities. Open. Grateful. Present. One moment at a time. Letting "good enough" be good enough. No pressure. Just presence. Love. Love for myself, for the people I love, and for life itself, however long it may be.

How about you? How do you want to live this day? Please share. Please live. You matter.

Here’s a little musical invitation from the amazing Pink: The Last Song of Your Life.
And a meditation, if you like, with a reading of "A Mystery" from 111 Invitations - Presence.

Please consider this your invitation to live. Fully. Whatever that looks like and means to you.

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If Not Now...

7/19/2018

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There is a beautiful song by Carrie Newcomer called “If Not Now” that has been playing in my mind a lot lately (and in my car because it’s on my playlist and I love it). I love the way it reassures me that though there may be trouble, we will come together “to make the change we can.” I love how it reminds us that “we may never see this moment or place or time again,” which gives me pause.

It gives me pause because surely we will never see this moment again.

It reminds me once again (because somehow I seem to forget) that really all we have for sure is this moment. What’s already happened is in the past and cannot be changed. What’s to come, we have no idea. Life is plain and simple a series of unknown moments.

“And yet we’ll take the journey, and walk it hand in hand…” (Carrie sings) as we step forward into the next moment. Where that step will take us, we do not know. What will come of the seeds we plant is yet to be determined. And, still we must step and plant, finding faith that our actions and journey matter.

So, what is it that is calling to you right now that you’re putting off or avoiding? Sometimes we feel called to work that our heart knows is right for us but that scares us for one (or many) reasons. There may be causes that you’d like to support if only you knew how. Things you’d like to try but you don’t think you’re young enough, strong enough, or wise enough… If you find yourself feeling scared and excited about the possibility, it’s at least worth exploring.

Is there something you really want to do but you think you can’t until you retire, win the lottery or until the stars align just so? What would it be like if you went ahead and did it now?

Sometimes our stories of how things should beget in our way. When I asked my husband to re-marry me, he thought for a minute and said, “but isn’t it only our 24th?” implying that these types of events typically occur on landmark anniversaries. He’s right, but I wanted that recommitment ceremony then. That was the time we needed something fun to plan for and to look forward to, and we needed to recommit our love to one another within a circle of loved ones. Life had been hard for a long time. There was no reason to put it off for a year waiting for our 25th anniversary. We went ahead and created the event, despite some initial hesitation and concern that we couldn’t find a place or get people to come on a busy day in June. It remains one of the happiest, most meaningful days in our life.

What's Your "If not now...?"

Back to you… Are there relationships that need healing? Love waiting to be expressed? Kindness and compassion being withheld? Trips you long to take but you’re waiting for that one special celebration? A job situation you know is crushing your soul but it feels too hard to change?

I’ve known too many people who put off til tomorrow what they want to do today and then when the long-awaited time comes, they’re too sick or they die before they ever have a chance to experience the joy they were waiting for. Please don’t let this be you.

Two of my favorite mantras are “Why not, why wait?” and “Life is for living now!” I am not suggesting anyone be foolish with their finances or responsibilities, but I am inviting you to seriously think about what you’re putting off. Then ponder what the hesitation is about and see if there’s a way to move toward what you desire. Sincerely ask yourself, “Why not?” and give yourself an honest answer. Weigh out the pros and cons. Play out the scenarios… one where you go ahead and one where you don’t. How do you feel when you’ve said “yes” vs. when you’ve said “no?”

Thoughts? Please share in the comments to let us know what comes up for you in this exploration and if there are any commitments you’re making to yourself right now.

If I can support you through coaching or on a retreat, I’d love to! Check out what's available at Inspired Possibility and let me know if you have any questions.

P. S. Here’s Carrie Newcomer’s song, if you’d like to listen. Maybe now?

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Three P’s that can be Show-Stoppers

9/10/2014

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We started our discussion last month by looking at ways we quit on ourselves and now it’s time to further explore the
topic. Today let’s look at three P’s that can get in our way: Procrastination, Perfectionism, and Pushing too hard

1. Procrastination - putting off til tomorrow what we could do right now!  This is a big one, and it’s an easy one to fall into with so many excuses readily at hand: “I’m too busy.” “I’m not ready. I need to do one more thing first..” “I'm tired!"  All of those things can be legitimate reasons for not starting something, but if you find them coming up too often and keeping you from moving forward on things you really want to succeed at, take a closer look.

To overcome procrastination is not rocket science – get started! One baby step a day beginning TODAY! What is one thing
you can do today to move you forward on a goal or project you’ve been avoiding? If your area is physical fitness, maybe you start by planning healthy meals for a day or for the week and then go grocery shopping so that you have the right food on hand. (OK, that’s 2 steps – you caught me… so, plan today, shop tomorrow). If it’s to write the next best-selling novel, begin today by starting to write for ½ hour or ___ number of words or pages.

By breaking big, overwhelming things down into manageable, bite-size chunks that we can handle, we are often able to get unstuck and get moving!

2. Perfectionism – closely linked to procrastination in that it can be one of the main reasons we don’t get started.  For example, “I’m not willing to begin until I know it’ll be perfect.” Unless I know I will lose 10 pounds, I’m not going to exercise,” or “I’m not going to join the gym until I can do the exercises and look great.”   Resonate with anyone?? I’ve been there and
I have learned to move past this one pretty well as a “Recovering Perfectionist.” Sometimes good enough is good enough, and it’s certainly better than no action at all.

Perfectionism also gets in the way when we beat ourselves up if things didn’t go as planned, it doesn’t look just right, or we had a slip-up. To beat perfectionism, begin with a practice of being gentle and loving with yourself.  How would you support your best friend or a child when they were afraid to try or they were sad that they had made a mistake? Give yourself that same tender love and care.  Accept yourself and acknowledge the effort you put forth, even if it didn't feel "perfect."

3. Pushing too hard or working all the time – We live in a world that seems to value the notion of being really busy. We
hear it all the time… “I’m so busy.”  “I’m completely stretched this month – maybe we can meet for lunch in December.” Behind this lies a challenge with managing time and setting priorities so that what truly matters most to you fits into your schedule.  If I fill my calendar with meetings, I have no time for actually doing the work I need to do, for workouts, or for my own learning, growth, or fun.

We fail to make ourselves a priority because it feels “selfish” or “less important” than tending to everything else and everyone else’s needs. There is something heroic in being a martyr and taking on the burdens of the world. And, we end up drained, depleted, and unable to sustain this pace. In the end, not only do we suffer, but so do those we’re trying to be a super hero for.

The antidote: Scheduling your time so that you and your main priorities get in there first. Have you heard of the big rocks exercise? Imagine a vase that you want to fill. Imagine having big rocks (the major things you want to make time for or get done – things that will leave you feeling great for having accomplished them), pebbles (things that are less important), and sand (things that drain your time and energy). If you put the big rocks in first, you will have room left for pebbles, sand, and even water. But, if you start with the sand and pebbles, you will not be able to force the big rocks in later and will end up feeling frustrated and depleted. Here’s an article that talks more about this and how it relates to productivity:
http://zenhabits.net/big-rocks-first-double-your-productivity-this-week/

For you visual learners, here’s a short video about the idea that makes it pretty clear: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6m9WnNdpSw

Don’t fool yourself into believing that you can be all things to all people. Don’t fool yourself into believing you should be all
things to all people or that you should do what others want from you or be who they expect you to be.

Begin by knowing yourself, your values, and then setting goals that align with those values. Get started with small steps, give yourself permission to be imperfect, and make space for the things that are most important to you today. Start nourishing yourself and making yourself available to the important things in your life.

Do you fall victim to any or all of the 3 P’s and what have you found works to move you beyond them? What are you willing
to do differently starting today?  Share your ideas in the comment section below.

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No Pressure. Presence.

If Not Now...

Three P’s that can be Show-Stoppers

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