Inspired Possibility Blog

Getting Grounded

7/20/2021

Phew! It's been a doozy of a week for me - lots of dips into funks, times of abandoning myself, questioning myself, doubting myself, getting down on myself… for no particular reason that I can pinpoint, which is the worst kind of out of sorts for me! I like to at least understand what's going on.

I try to remember that we all have these funks and I've talked to a lot of people who seem to be riding these funk waves with me at this time, but knowing it's to be expected and I'm not alone helps only a little. Sometimes I am better at being with the discomfort of it, and other times I really just want it to stop… to go away!

I definitely know that the more I'm able to let things be as they are and not aggressively try to change them, the more quickly it will move on through.

I also know that when the inner turmoil is stirring it can be really unsettling, and at times we even feel shaken up, not grounded at all. So, the theme this week is getting grounded.

Getting Grounded:

One of the quickest ways to do this is to simply feel your feet on the floor (or barefeet on the earth if you can), feel your body being held by the seat, bed, or ground, let out a few audible sighs, maybe even imagining the stress or burden sliding right off your shoulders. Notice how your body wants to move. Does your neck want some gentle circles? Do you want to wiggle or stretch in any way? Let yourself move until you are just a little more comfortable. Find yourself in this moment - look around - what do you see? What do you hear? Who else is nearby? Are you safe here? (If not, please find a way to get to a place where you are).

If you're feeling super agitated, you might want to shake your hands and arms (and maybe even your feet and legs) as if you're shaking off whatever it is that's getting to you.

Feel your breath - notice its natural rhythm and quality in this moment without trying to change anything. With each breath invite your belly to soften. Place your hands on your lap or on your heart or on your belly… feel your own warmth and tender touch - this is a gesture of self-compassion. Let yourself know that you are here for you.

Allow yourself a little time to not need to DO anything or to figure anything out, but simply to be here with yourself. Take the time you need… Connecting with your breath and feeling your body. Support yourself to get into your body in this moment in time. If there is any gentle reassurance you want to offer to yourself, please do… things like, “I'm here… we've got this… I love you. We will get through this. Shhhh….” can be tried out. If you find a phrase that softens your body a bit, offer that to yourself - lean into it. Let the softness come.

Repeat as often as needed. I've needed it a lot lately. After I feel a little more grounded I've found it to be helpful to take note of what's true in this moment by either writing about “In this moment…” simply allowing my pen to move across the page about whatever is here right now for a few minutes or just saying aloud or silently to myself, “OK, in this moment…” This helps to bring a reality check to this moment, this time, and keeps me from running away with the thoughts that may be carrying me in 900 different directions at once. Right here. Right now. Be here now. (Sometimes I recite this simple phrase to myself with every inhale, exhale, and pause).

How do you get grounded? I'd love to hear - please share your ideas so that we can add to our available practices!

I've recorded this guided meditation to support you in getting grounded. I invite you to give yourself a few minutes and allow yourself this time to settle in to this moment.

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Practice...In Real Life

7/1/2021

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If life has taught me anything, these are a few of the key lessons that apply across the board:

Things don’t always go as planned
My “control” is very limited, and mostly a delusion
Worrying never helps, but that doesn’t stop it from rushing in anyway
Where I place my attention and what I choose to focus on profoundly changes my experience of life.

As I write, I am in Austin where I’ve recently finished a powerful and profound writing and meditation retreat led by Susan Piver. Being in Susan’s home with 11 other writers opened me and my heart to the depth of what the next book wants to be. It was the perfect container and helped me to connect the way my meditation practice has supported me and carried me through some of the hardest times of my life. It is what has opened my heart and softened me in a way that allows me to bring love and compassion to people and experiences in a way that I don’t think I would have been able to otherwise.

In 4 days of sharing space, meditating together, and writing in communal silence, my heart blossomed, my tears came. and I felt the complexity of writing about our journey through addiction. I have stayed with it. I love our particular meditation practice because it is all about being awake in our lives, being able to be with life as it is and not needing to retreat within or push anything away. It takes courage to face life head-on, especially when what’s here is painful and uncertain.

Transitioning from retreat back into “ordinary life,” watching retreat dissolve, as Susan so beautifully described it, and returning to my regular pace and ways has been gradual and is right now still incomplete. I’ve been fortunate to be able to blend my retreat time with family time – to visit with my sister and her family who I haven’t seen in a couple of years (because… COVID…). It’s been a beautiful blend of together time and solo down time, time to meditate and write… time to sit in their heavenly backyard and drink in the sights and sounds of nature.

I have been reminded this week of the power of pure and simple moments. Our meditation practice is so pure in its simplicity… simply sitting with our eyes open, feeling the breath and allowing everything to be here, nothing to push away – sights, sounds, thoughts will all come and go, and when we get distracted to the point of having lost connection with our breath, we simply return and begin again. I’ve watched emotions rise and fall away, tears well up and wash down my face as insights and openings come through. I’ve had moments of distracted random thoughts – some inspired and others perfectly mundane. I’ve followed thoughts that led to pages and pages of handwriting into my next book, and I have witnessed the pauses when I touched on a tough concept or memory.

In the simplicity something that is beyond words happens. I felt the power of retreat – simply being together in a shared space where we are all in this together creates a palpable and magical force (I say “magical” because I’m never entirely sure what happens, but I feel it every time). While I can meditate and write on my own, and do on an almost daily basis, coming together to do these things amplifies it all in a lovely way. Having this community, a set schedule, and shared practice create the container where the magic comes to life as we each get in touch with our own inner wisdom, guidance, insight and as we share our moments of challenge and stuckness as well as our inspired moments of flow.

Pure and simple moments also included time with my precious little 3 year old great niece showing me her room, cuddling up and saying, “I love our whole family;” playing with my 6 year-old great nephew and his imaginary dog friend, Leo, who has a different attitude every day (thankfully it was a happy attitude the day he jumped on my head!) and watching his eyes light up with delight as he wove ever more intricate details of Leo/Liam’s adventures! Sharing lunch with my nieces, talking with their husbands, and introducing my sister and brother-in-law to the artistry and charm of Brandi Carlile, the twins, and Josh in their livestreaming campfire concert. A sweet hug and deep conversation with an old friend; sharing a walk to the local coffee shop to retrieve our mid-day drinks with our retreat group. Fun “girlfriend time” with my sister. Taking in the serene beauty of the deer, hummingbirds, and the nightly serenade of crickets and frogs. It’s been a week of precious, simple moments and memories – too many to recount.

And, the plan was, that yesterday, I would make another big transition – get on a plane and fly back across the country to reunite with my husband. Amazing how air travel lets us travel thousands of miles in a matter of hours.

Except… when it doesn’t quite work out. Yesterday was one of those days. My flight was at 3:50 and at 11:19 I received a text from Southwest simply stating, “SWA Flight #5269 from AUS is cancelled. Go to Southwest.com to rebook…” What!? I was shocked and confused – it’s not blizzard season! What the heck!? I tearfully called my husband as the first step in the process to give him a heads-up before I logged on to begin to figure things out.

As I looked at flight schedules, it became clear that there were no more flights that day, no seats available today, and it would be two full days before I could claim a seat to get back home. Okay, then… Time to reschedule my PT, haircut, and acupuncture and connect with my client… But first, I’m making that dinner reservation! Dammit, if I’m going to be here, we are going to eat well! We hadn’t felt like going out the night before, so let’s make the most of this!

Talking with my family, I shared a little worry that Friday’s flight might also be cancelled… it’s a holiday weekend, so it could be extra tricky (today’s report of 2+ hour lines to check bags today and 2.2 million travelers planning to fly out of Austin this weekend – the highest in 21 years confirmed that it’s going to be more than tricky!). Yikes! My niece wisely and calmly looked my way and asked, “What are you going to do with that worry?” Great question! I considered it for a moment and said, “Well, right now, I’m going to feel it… and let it be here and move through me” (or something like that – it felt true and she liked my answer! Bonus!).

I was shaken and simultaneously aware that I am very lucky to be in a beautiful home with people who love me enough to let me stay on and that this is a very first world problem… AND that I still get to be shaken, saddened, and worried. Talking with my son and husband helped me to begin to process and adjust to the idea that the freshly stripped bed needed to be re-made, the perfectly packed suitcases (really, I was way more organized than usual) had to be reopened, and I had to/got to settle back in for a couple of bonus days with my family. My practice allowed me to do all of that relatively automatically.

Cultivating a heart that can hold it all… this is what it’s about. Disappointment mixed with the delight of fresh opportunity, sadness mixed with joy and enjoyment, a little concern of being a burden, and acceptance that this is what’s here for me today. I’m consciously trying to stay in the moment and to be here now even as I notice my thoughts flit ahead to tomorrow… what time should I realistically get to the airport? What happens if I check my bags and then they cancel my flight? Will I get home in time to be at my friend’s son’s celebration of life? Will I get to see my son on Sunday? Or will I be in Austin and get treated to the local incredible 4th of July fireworks that they say they can see right out the backyard from the heavenly patio that has offered such beauty and peace this week?

We shall see… For now, in this moment, I am grateful for the extra time, for being in a safe and comfortable place with people I love who can and will share it with me, for a delicious leftover lunch and plans for an uplifting movie date with my sister, and for my awareness that where I place my attention makes a world of difference in my experience of life. I choose to find the good within this change of plan rather than continuing to be upset or to worry.

Fingers crossed for a smooth airport check-in and ease-ful on-time cross-country travel at the same time I let go of control I don’t have anyway. If you’d hold that vision with me, I’d appreciate it, and I’ll take it one moment at a time. It’s really all any of us can do. This moment is pretty sweet.

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Everyday Beauty

6/1/2021

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This week I come to you with a simple, but not easy invitation. Slow down and notice the everyday beauty all around you. Pause to take in sights, sounds, scents. Cherish a sweet smile shared in passing with a stranger. Savor a conversation with a friend. Take your time as you enjoy the sweetness of a strawberry.

This practice pairs well with gratitude and it can completely shift our experience of life because it redirects our focus. Even in hard times, sad times, angry times, there is beauty to be found. The more we notice, the more often we remember to look. We soften and we begin to allow in “this too…” Even as my heart breaks, I can find the beauty in a flower offered with love. Even when it's a dark and gloomy day, there is a fleck of color that catches my eye.

Curious... What do you notice?
I'd love to hear about the beauty you notice as you move throughout your day. I'm also curious what shifts for you as you take time to look for it… to include it. Please share in the comments below!

This isn't about painting over anything painful or hard. It's about saying “this too…” This too is here. It isn't all good or all bad, all black or all white - there are so very many shades of color in between.

This week's meditation is “Everyday Beauty.” I invite you to join me in this practice as we slow down and become present… as we notice the beauty we might otherwise miss. May this practice fill you up.

If you've missed previous meditations, you can access my entire library for free at Soundcloud. I invite you to explore and see which practices would most support you this week.

A Beautiful Invitation for You:
Doors are open for my Soul Care group (which is a truly beautiful thing in itself) for the summer session which begins next Monday, June 7th. This is a group that comes together to focus on self-care and also nurturing and nourishing our souls so that they are filled up! We will be gathering every other week on Monday evenings from 7-8:30 PM EDT June - August. Email me to apply if you're interested in joining this group.

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The Cruelty of Skin Suits... and Radical Love

5/18/2021

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Skin Suits, pain, and grief...
In the show “The Good Place,” the leaders of the Bad Place devise ways to torture people. Perhaps their most cruel tactic was what they called “skin suits.” The torturers were hidden inside the body of someone you loved so that you’d be fooled into thinking they were safe, loving, there for you… and then they’d do something awful to you. You’d feel that internal confusion of “who are you? Why are you doing this to me? I don’t even recognize you…”

And it struck me how much this reflects what it’s like to love someone consumed by mental illness, substance or alcohol use, or dementia. On the outside the person still looks like our person, but on the inside, they’re not really there. We look into their eyes trying to connect, but we just can’t find them. They act in ways that the person we know and love never would. They do things that are hurtful to themselves and to us.

It’s sad and it’s lonely and it’s a unique form of grief to mourn the loss of someone who is still alive. To love this person deeply. To not have had a chance to say goodbye. To have moments of connection and clarity which bring with them a bit of hope… and then to have that hope crushed to the point where you don’t dare to feel it again.

Radical Love
What can we do when the person we see is so unfamiliar to us? So far from the person we’ve known them to be? Lost, even to themselves? We can turn to radical love. The love that carries us through impossible times and takes us to unimaginable places.

The terms “radical acceptance” and “radical empathy” have been shared in recent trainings. Tara Brach has written books titled, Radical Acceptance and Radical Compassion, so these radical terms are floating around, perhaps more and more frequently and more and more in a positive way.

What’s “Radical" All About?
So, let’s get curious… what is this “radical” all about?   Before I look it up (which I will), what comes to mind is a sense of extreme (it’s often connected to not such positive groups). In these cases of acceptance, compassion, empathy, and love which all represent qualities of kindness and care, it speaks to the times we show up in ways and at times we couldn’t believe possible. It speaks to a love that binds us even when our loved one doesn’t recognize us or isn’t available to connect with us in the way we long for. This, to me, is radical love.

Radical love holds you while you sit in the Emergency Room waiting room with your loved one in mental health crisis, feeling both the judgmental stares and the averted glances, feeling invisible and oh too visible all at once. Radical love walks with you through the razor wire fences to sit in the barren room on a cold hard plastic chair to visit with your child under the watchful eye of a correctional officer. Radical love breaks your heart open and brings tears at the smallest act of kindness in an unexpected place. It drives across country with you to visit your parent as they plot their escape from the memory care unit, and it helps you to feel both the sadness and the humor all at once.

Radical love allows you to see the humanity in the homeless person shuffling down the street. Radical love makes the sandwich that you hand to her, without judgment in your eyes. Radical love shows up to serve those who are too often overlooked and misunderstood.

Radical Love Reminds You That You Too Matter…
Radical love also reminds you that you too matter. That your well-being and sanity are worthy of your tender care. That it is ok to take a break, to take a breath, to tend to yourself. Radical love lifts the phone out of your hand, turns it off, and tucks you in so that you can get the rest you need to face the crisis that surely awaits. Radical love reminds you that it’s unsustainable to be all things to all people all the time, so it quietly lifts your cape from your shoulders and brings you a cup of tea.

Why is this love radical? Because we’re conditioned to make sure everyone else is ok, especially the people we love, especially when they are suffering or struggling. We’re not told that we too have needs or that even in the midst of heartache and despair you can also enjoy some time with a friend or dance with true joy or meditate in the forest.

Society tells us “You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child.” Or “You have to do something…” even if there’s really nothing you can do. Our beliefs keep us going even when we have nothing left to give. Radical love is needed to remind us that we’re no good to anyone if we’re depleted. It calls us to gentle ourselves and to forgive ourselves when we couldn’t make someone else change, when we couldn’t save a life. Radical love requires radical self-compassion as well as compassion and empathy for others.

The expert’s voice…
I promised I'd look it up, and I did. Merriam Webster defines radical as “very different from the usual or traditional: extreme.” I wonder what it will take for these acts of empathy, love, and compassion to become more usual or commonplace. I hope we can be part of this shift in a world that is crying for more of these qualities.

In her book, Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach describes it as “the cultivation of mindfulness and compassion.” She goes on to say that “Radical Acceptance reverses our habit of living at war with experiences that are unfamiliar, frightening or intense. It is the necessary antidote to years of neglecting ourselves, years of judging and treating ourselves harshly, years of rejecting this moment’s experience. Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our life as it is.”

In Radical Compassion, she says it “…means including the vulnerability of this life – all life – in our heart. It means having the courage to love ourselves, each other, and our world. Radical compassion is rooted in mindful, embodied presence, and it is expressed actively through caring that includes all beings.” She writes, “I have to love myself into healing. The only path that can carry me home is the path of self-compassion.” How beautiful is that... loving ourselves into healing!

Today’s Invitation:
Today I invite you to explore these ideas for yourself… radical compassion, radical acceptance, radical empathy, and radical love. Let’s be EXTREME with scattering these ways of being. Where can you bring them into your world? What changes within you and in your experience when you do? How does it feel to approach yourself, others, and life from a radically kinder stance? I've recorded this meditation as a way to support you in stepping into this.

When you next encounter someone you care about and find they’re wearing a skin suit, see if you can look beneath the surface to find the soul within and love them anyway. It isn’t personal. They’re just not able to be who you know them to be in this moment. Maybe your remembering will help them to remember who they are one day… maybe your love will help you remember who you are.

Please let us know your thoughts and experiences. Let’s learn and grow together in a radical way!

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What are Your Defining Moments?

4/6/2021

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Preparing for a recent podcast conversation with Sandra Sabene, I pondered a question she offered up. What have been the defining moments of my life? Those pivotal moments of impact, the ones we might label “bad” and “awesome.”

For me, these moments have been heart and soul moments – not mind, logic, or typical measures of success moments.

They have been the following my heart and listening to the call of my soul moments that have stirred something inside, shaking me awake, nudging me forward, calling me to show up… even when it’s been hard or I haven’t wanted to. These are the moments that have made me more alive, more me…

These moments let me step fully into the life I have been given, even when I really didn’t like how things were going. The times I did not get stuck in a puddle of victimhood forever, but rose up, stepped forward. These are the times I’ve been able to create something from the pain, work toward initiating change, being part of something new.

Consistently they are moments that that energize and activate me – the moments that say, “We’re off on the next great adventure,” or “Oh boy…here we go, whether I like it or not…”

For me they have often come after major hurdles in life that have threatened to stop me, break me, or bring me to my knees. Sometimes these moments came through death or devastation.

At times they have been excruciatingly painful – they have stopped me and torn me apart, throwing me off a path I desperately wanted to be on. Until (with a lot of loving help and support) I was able to start crawling forward.

Sometimes they came through inspiration and excitement (often a powerful combination of terror and excitement). The words that come pouring through from some unknown place. The art that calls to be created. The move that says, “It’s time!”

Reflecting on several decades of life helped me to realize that there is not ONE defining moment in our lives, but rather a wide collection of them that have brought us to this day.

Defining moments are the “right” steps and the seeming “mis-steps” along the way on the path called YOU. They are the significant yeses and the critical no’s of rejecting what “makes sense,” walking away from what does not fit, and sometimes turning away from the thing you thought you were supposed to be or do.

They are the waking up and coming alive moments. The moments of daring, courage, hearts breaking open. The times you listen to the nudges that get you to the next right place, that bring in the right people at the right time. These are often times you can’t explain or justify (and likely you don’t care to!).

The times you break through the fear and do what you know you have to do, be it “good” or “bad,” easy or tremendously challenging.

More often than not, we don’t know these are defining moments until years later when we look back and see where they’ve led, what they’ve given birth to. At that moment when we stepped into the dark abyss we could never have imagined where it was taking us.

These are the moments when you learn something new about who you are and what you can handle – the times you learn a little bit more about what you stand for. What you will and won’t tolerate. What you absolutely must take action on. The times you make the hard calls or take the bold risks and do the thing even though you’re shaking in your boots.

They are the moments of grace that allow things to unfold as they are meant to on a universal scale, not in the man-made version of life. Only time will reveal the outcome for many of these moments. All we can do is show up for what’s here now – right in this moment. We may not have any idea how it will go.

These are the moments that make the butterflies swarm in your belly, your heart pound through your chest, your whole being get a little dizzy wondering, “Am I really doing this?”

The ability of the heart to find its way back to a friendship that seemed to be lost, to show up for a loved one who is lost in the darkness, the trusting that somehow, we will be all right, no matter what happens… moving into and through fear, into joy and allowing ourselves to feel it all.

These are the defining moments of a life, and I truly am grateful for my wide collection of them.

The Way It Is
By William Stafford

There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.

Through these moments are woven threads that come from the heart and soul, the essence of who you truly are.

What are your defining moments? Take a moment to soak into them and feel how they feel in your body? I’ve recorded this meditation to guide you through this process if you like.

And if you’d like to hear the conversation that was lit from the spark of this exploration, you can catch it here at Arts & Healing with Sandra.

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Cultivating a Relationship of Self-Trust

12/20/2020

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How well do you trust yourself? Really trust yourself for things like listening to your inner guidance, being with yourself through all of your experiences, listening to your body, and having your own back?

We live in a world that encourages us not to trust ourselves… not believing in ourselves, looking outward for answers, guidance, solutions. Buy this makeup, follow this diet, change your world. Listen to this guru who knows what you need (and is all too happy to tell you so!). Follow this trend…

Furthermore, most of us have a loud and ferocious inner critic who is all too happy to tell us all the things that are wrong with us – causing us to doubt ourselves or beat ourselves up when we think we’ve said the wrong thing, done the wrong thing, or are considering taking a big bold leap into something new. “Who do you think you are?” is often a familiar refrain.

Is it any wonder that many of us struggle in this area? Trusting ourselves, believing in ourselves, being with ourselves through joy and pain is not something that has been taught or encouraged.

I was inspired to explore this topic after discussing one of Susan Piver’s talks (which you can find here) with my Meditation Instructors Group. One of the key takeaways for me was that turning toward our experience, leaning into our feelings, is a critical element to cultivating a trusting relationship with ourselves. Feeling the reassurance that we have the capacity to be with ourselves, to make room for our feelings, to be with the unknown, not that we have all of the answers, but that we resourced enough to turn toward what is here, moment by moment.

Trusting ourselves comes into play when we find ourselves facing a familiar uncomfortable scenario – remembering things we have been through in the past and acknowledging past courage, strength, resilience. We can also trust that we have grown and changed since the last time we’ve been confronted with a situation; we are not the same person, so we can respond differently this time.

Building a loving relationship of gentleness, compassion, and kindness toward ourselves allows us to come home to ourselves in a way that feels safe because we can trust that we will be received in a way that is welcoming. When we can learn to trust ourselves, when we find ourselves worthy of our trust, life changes.

I invite you to play with this idea. Try trusting your intuition, your gut, your wisdom and guidance, your ability to know what you need and to ask for help when you need it. Play with the idea that you’ve got this (whatever “this” is) and at the very least you will walk with yourself through it, finding your way.

Value your own opinion and ideas. Respect your own experience. Cherish your moments of delight. Sit with your moments of sadness and fear, knowing you don’t have to push through or jump over anything – you get to be exactly where you are, moment by moment! The more you meet yourself in this way, the stronger this practice will become. The more deeply you will find yourself in a place of centered self-trust.

I’ve recorded this short talk and meditation for you to support your exploration.

If you’d like to receive weekly meditations from me, email me and say “please add me to the meditation list!” and you will receive one each Wed. AM.

Please share your thoughts, reflections, and insights below!

Wishing you peace, love, and trust!

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Let's Lean into Nature

10/10/2020

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Let’s lean into nature’s wisdom and away from the fearfulness and reactivity of human nature. In nature there is an inherent understanding of the ever-changing nature of life – the seasons, days, cycles… they happen without thought or worry.

Seeds scatter everywhere – some will take root and flourish, while others will become food for some animal or nourishment for the soil. Acorns don’t strive to become the biggest, strongest, best oak tree in the forest. They simply hold their potential and allow it to break forth in the perfect time, in the perfect way.

Nature flows with the great mystery. It doesn’t need to know how or when things will work out.

Animals simply follow the rhythm of their ancestors, follow their inherent knowing about when to gather, move, hide, or attack. They don’t waste time on worry or hate.

In the wilderness, diversity is valued and appreciated. The multitude of trees and plants yield a variety of beauty that we cherish. Species are interdependent and interconnected, as are we if we would only pause long enough to feel into this truth. Can we learn to value the uniqueness each of us brings to this life? What would be possible if we operated with a solid understanding of our inter-relatedness?

At this very moment where I live, trees are shedding their lives, gathering their energy inward to move into a time of dormancy. They are letting go of the past season – allowing the old to fall away in preparation for what’s to come. Preparing for a time of rest and rooting before opening their branches to new growth in just a few months. What might you let go of to prepare you for fresh growth?

What would it be like if we could quiet the tendency to get busy and simply drop our roots into those things that nourish and nurture us so that we can stand strong and steady amidst the storms? What if we learn to bend and sway with the winds so that we don’t break in unyielding rigidity?

What might we learn from the forest? Mary Reynolds Thompson offers this wisdom from the forest (5 min. video) to support us as we deal with a global pandemic.

As Thompson says in her book, Reclaiming the Wild Soul: How Earth’s Landscapes Restore Us to Wholeness, “The wisdom you seek (in the forest) can be experienced but never possessed. Wild, ancient, primal, it moves through the shadows. The presence of such mystery and immensity is overwhelming. You may have to fight the urge to break the tension by running away. But, if you remain, at least for a while, things will happen. In this uncertain world, creativity flourishes.”

Can we cultivate the capacity to take a deep breath, stand still, and be in the present moment? Can we stop and feel the tension of wanting to do something and not knowing in this mysterious time?

What if we could simply learn to hold ourselves, knowing something new is growing and will emerge? Root, breathe, pay attention, and go deep within ourselves to feel for what is wanting to come forth naturally and organically, without force.

Can we allow the uncertainty to give birth to creativity? We are in a time where we need creative thinking, problem solving, and fresh ideas… and if we can only be still for a bit, we can allow space for those things to emerge from a place of intelligence that comes from deep within.

Please share your thoughts and reflections below.

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An Invitation to Reflect as You Move Forward

6/13/2020

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In the past 3 months, our world and our lives have changed in epic and unprecedented ways. There is no "going back" to anything. We can only move forward into a new chapter.  As we do, we each have the opportunity right now to pause, to reflect, to choose who we want to become, to choose what role we want to play in the new story.

We don't know what the future holds - ever - though it certainly feels more true right now than ever before. This can feel super unsettling. There is no road-map for us to follow as we step forward. We crave certainty, and yet we find time and again that the only certainty is that things will change.

So, now what? I invite you to spend some time with these questions... reflecting, sitting with them, and maybe journaling about any that interest you. Give yourself a few minutes of free writing - allow your pen to keep moving across the page without stopping so that you can tap beneath the surface and find your way to deeper insights. How long you write on any question is up to you, but you might try starting with 3 minutes and see what emerges.

We will be best able to step into the world in a grounded way when we have taken the time to get centered in ourselves. Important wisdom will come from within and beyond - a wisdom that can best be accessed in the quiet moments of a pause and reflect.

Offer yourself this gift. Take a moment to center yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes. Maybe put your hands on your heart and earnestly consider these questions:

In the past 3 months...
1. What have you learned about yourself?

2. What have you learned about life and our world?

3. What has revealed itself as important to you?

4. What are you ready or willing to leave behind? What does not serve you? What no longer feels as important as it once did? What old beliefs or stories are ready to be discarded?

5. What would you like to carry forward? What has emerged during this time as something you don't want to forget about, take for granted, or stop doing?

6. What do you want to remember so that you don't go back to sleep, trying to "go back to normal?" It's so easy to slip back into old patterns, habits, and ways of thinking. Taking the time to reflect on this question and write out your answers will help keep you connected to any new insights you've had.

7. What is essential to you? What are your true priorities? What really matters? A friend recently noted, "We only get so many heartbeats." Let's let our moments and lives reflect our values, our desires, our priorities.

As we step into this next chapter:
8.Who do you want to become? You might reflect on this in terms of "I want to become someone who..." paying particular attention to the qualities you'd like to cultivate, the values you'd like to embody and reflect in your words and actions.

9. What is your vision for a better future for your kids, grandkids and their grandkids? Paint a picture of the future life you imagine, thinking about humanity, our planet, how we interact with one another... whatever comes up for you as important.

10. What commitments will you make right now to be part of a better tomorrow? For yourself, for your family, your community, your country, other people, animals, and the planet.

11. Knowing that you are no good to yourself, to anyone else, or to any cause that you care about unless you take good care of yourself, what promise will you make to yourself right now regarding your own self-care? Think about your body, mind, heart, and spirit as you consider this. Which area(s) most need your attention and TLC, and is there one area, that if tended to, supports each of the other 3 areas?

Would you love some support?  Consider joining Soul Care: A Self-Care Sanctuary if you would appreciate a weekly refuge to connect with others who are dedicating this time to strengthen their own self-care practice. It's hard to do this work alone! Together is so much better!!

The opportunity is here for us to let these devastating, unsettling experiences matter for the better. Let them lead us into despair, but let them call us forward into possibility.

We are at a turning point, individually and collectively, and together we can turn the tide for a better, more healthy, more just, more peaceful, and more sustainable tomorrow. I truly believe this.

This will not be a quick fix or an easy turnabout. People will resist. You will likely resist. The struggle will be real. AND, the struggle will be worth it. Trying to go back to the old ways will show us that they no longer work for so many reasons.

After you've done your inner work, find those who can teach you and support you. Those who can help you reveal your blind spots. Those who help you to discover new perspective. Those who can help you shed old beliefs and old stories.

Then, let's go forward together. Let's rise up from the destruction and build anew, imagine anew, and create anew.

What do you stand for? How strongly are you willing to stand upon that as you act, speak, and create? What possibility are you willing to consider, even if it seems unlikely or impossible, admitting to yourself that you do not know how things will turn out?

I'm with you! Let's get started... one step at a time...committing to be in this for the long haul.

Feeling unsettled in these tumultuous times?
Join me for Light on the Hill's 2-part series: Uncertainty and Trust which begins this Tuesday, June 16th. I will be one of the panelists in the June 23rd conversation.

I'd love to hear any reflections you'd like to share below in the comment section.

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What Do You Love?

5/8/2020

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Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

Now wait… before you read on,… pause.   Take a breath. Maybe close your eyes and put your hands on your heart. Get curious. With an open mind and an open heart, ask, with genuine interest… what do I love? Then see what rises up. Be willing to be surprised. What DO you love??

Recently I posed this question to a group of women who may not often think about this, particularly in the context I asked it. Also, I asked it in the middle of a global pandemic at a time when many of us are feeling weary, worried, unsettled, and uncertain. I asked moms of kids who struggle with substance use disorder –what do you love about your son or daughter? What are their best qualities?

Lots of women replied, naming so many beautiful qualities their kids embody, acknowledging that it’s been awhile since they’ve reflected on these aspects of kids who are often associated with pain and struggle. Which was exactly my point in asking the question. Not to pretend that the horrendous experiences aren’t there, but to remember that beneath this disease, there is still a loving, caring, kind, humorous, creative, generous being.

If there is a person in your life with whom you have a challenging or complicated relationship, you might take a moment to consider what qualities you love in this person.

Why am I asking you now at a time when there’s so much we don’t like, so much we are worried, scared, or discombobulated about??

I find it really helpful to remember that the whole messy mix can be true at the same time. It’s not all or nothing, black or white, good or bad. Rarely does life present itself in a neat package despite our mind’s desire to simplify it that way.

We look at what we love, not to erase or to pretend that the painful, uncomfortable, less desirable things aren’t also here. We do this to see that there’s room for it all. That it can ALL be here, at the same time, in the same reality, in the same heart. We don’t have to choose what we hate or what we love, what we’re for or what we’re against, what we want to lean into or what we want to eradicate forever. We can be with it all. You can love the sunshine and warmth, remembering that beach in your happy place, even as you cringe at the snow that is here when it shouldn’t be!

It’s a simple practice to wonder and to notice from time to time. And, so, I ask you, even in your sadness, despair, worry, or fear, to consider, remember or discover the part of you that loves.

Right now… consider, what do you love?

About yourself? What are your best qualities? (let's start here... and, if you go no further, that will be more than enough!)

About the situation you find yourself in?

About life?

About the person or people who challenge you deeply?

What do you love to do? Eat? Experience?

Who do you adore, and what is it about them that you love?

What do you love to be? Do? Have?

Feel into it with all of your senses – what images, thoughts, scents, feelings emerge? What brings a smile to your face or lights you up inside?

What brings a sweet “aaahhhh….?”

For me, a few things that come to mind right now that I love are sunsets; lakes and oceans; “The Grinch;” Snoopy; the smell of a bonfire or fresh-baked bread; sunshine and warm, fresh air; laughter; deep honest connections; the smell of a horse farm and feeling my body sway with a horse; and helping other people light up!

Now, let's be honest... it might be way easier to know what we don’t like, what we wish were different, even what we hate… And if that’s where your mind goes, then start there. When we’re deep in the muck, it can be hard to see out. Then, take a moment and look at the flip side. The opposite of what you hate is likely what you love or what you’re longing for.

Let it all be here. There is no need to jump over the uncomfortable, the painful, the sad or scary to get to the happy, peaceful, joyful feelings. We have the capacity to hold it all in these hearts of ours.

When we can touch in with what we love, we soften, if only for a moment. Something inside of us stirs.   We awaken maybe a long-forgotten spark. We connect with something deep and true.

From this place, maybe we allow ourselves to dream or desire. Or maybe we allow ourselves to simply accept someone else as they are, even with the parts we don’t like or wish weren’t there. Maybe for a minute we are able to see the essential goodness in another person. Maybe we energize ourselves enough to take that next step.

What do you love?

Feel into it. Awaken your heart. And, then please share in the comments and let’s sprinkle some love around today!

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The Invitation and Gift of This Day

4/19/2020

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I have been given this life and this day… let me not waste it on worry, fear, or dismay. Let me greet it as the gift it is and use it wisely – not feeding panic, anger, or judgment. Let me walk gently upon this earth, among these people, bringing love, kindness, and compassion. Let me take all of our well-being as a serious concern and act accordingly. Let me take care of myself, my family, and our home in a way that honors us and all beings. Let me be prepared – but not unreasonably so.
Let me take care of our needs without taking more than I need, leaving others with none.

The time for injustice, inequity, and inequality is over. The time to love and care for one another, for all beings, for the earth is here. Now. How will I respond to this moment? How will we, as a people, respond to this moment in time? How will we stay awake and not return to the mind-numb reality we have been in for far too long?

We can no longer be reckless with our lives, believing we exist as separate from others. No. We have been shown the depth and vastness of our coexistence and interdependence. There is a gift in that if we only remember. If only we respond wisely.

Now is not a time for folly or fight. Now is the time for us to come together, to rise together, to be better than we were before… not by possessing more or earning more or even doing more, but by caring more, by respecting one another more, by loving more. By choosing to look. To see. To respond to the devastation, we have caused to our earth, to our people, to all beings. We have to be brave enough to look and to see. And, then from there, choose and act.

We must not forget when this time seems to be over. We must allow ourselves to be changed in the best possible way by the devastation and destruction of today so that it has not been for naught. There is a gift in this day, and there is an invitation. How will we respond?

What thoughts or insights does this bring up for you? Please share in the comments.

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Getting Grounded

Practice...In Real Life

Everyday Beauty

The Cruelty of Skin Suits... and Radical Love

What are Your Defining Moments?

Cultivating a Relationship of Self-Trust

Let's Lean into Nature

An Invitation to Reflect as You Move Forward

What Do You Love?

The Invitation and Gift of This Day

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