Category: Loving Kindness

What Would Love Do?

4/13/2021

Each morning I set an intention for my day…a quality that I invite in to support me throughout the day. A guidepost that I can touch back in with when I remember.
One of my favorite and most powerful intentions is Love. It allows me to check in with it throughout the day, asking, “What would Love do?” before I react to a situation or sink into a particular story I'm telling myself.

Asking What would Love do? allows us to tune into the quality of love as a guiding force. Love reminds us to be gentle with ourselves and others, to act kindly and with compassion, remembering that we're all doing the best we can in this moment.

What does Love do?
Love listens…
Love sees you and hears you
Love comforts a hurting heart
Love softens loneliness
Love sits with a hurting friend without any need to fix or advise
Love gives from a generous place, without expectation
Love fills us up
Love sets boundaries that are clear but not harsh
Love says “yes” or “no” without apology
Love cultivates trust
Love cuddles the dog
Love patiently sets aside the to-do list and chooses to be present with another
Love puts the phone away
Love smiles at a stranger, holds a door, and lets the anxious driver cut in
Love feeds the birds
Love slows down to notice the beauty
Love appreciates what's here

What else??

I invite you to try it out today. When you find yourself reacting, pause… ask yourself, “What would Love do?” and notice how it changes your interactions, your perceptions, your perspective, and your day. Let us know by sharing in the comments!

The meditation I am sharing this week is one called “What Would Love Do?” I invite you to enjoy this practice as we begin by first extending this love to ourselves.

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There’s Never Been a Better Time for Self-Care

2/9/2017

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There’s never been a better time to take really good care of yourself than now. And, while I think that statement is always true, I think it’s particularly true now. We are living in a time of so much uncertainty and so much disruption. No matter your political views or your level of engagement in activism, it would be hard to be immune from feeling the effects of the energy swirling in the US and across the globe these days.

Now is the perfect time to come home to yourself – back to your own heart, back to your own wisdom, back to your own strength. It’s time to be well-resourced so that you have energy for your creativity, your contribution, and your presence in the world. You must be well-resourced in order to show up to the people and things in your life that matter most. You can’t really fully be there for your loved ones, your clients, or your work if you’re not well-cared for. And, you must be well-resourced for yourself – so that you stay healthy and strong to live the full life you’re here to live.

Self-care doesn’t have to be big or grand, and we certainly don’t want it to become one more thing on an already overwhelming to-do list! No! That’s not what I’m talking about when I talk about self-care. I’m talking about what my mentor, Renee Trudeau, defines self-care as: “the art of attuning and responding to your needs and desires, moment to moment.” This is an in the moment thing, my friends! It is a practice, an art that develops over time. And, it doesn’t have to be hard or take a lot of time.

I’ve been thinking about mini moments of self-care, because most of us don’t have an ounce of extra energy, and we can’t imagine finding more time in a typical day. So, what might be a mini moment that would help rejuvenate, restore, and nourish you? Here are some ideas to get you started:

Breath - take a few minutes to connect with your breath – closing your eyes to shut out distractions if you can, maybe putting a hand on your heart and another on your belly, and just notice. Where does your breath come in? Where do you feel its movement most clearly? Is it deep or shallow? smooth or jagged? Just be with it and notice if it slows or deepens as you stay with it… eventually you might want to invite the exhale to be just a little longer than the inhale, getting rid of that stale air as you bring in fresh.

Music – put on a song that lifts you up, energizes, soothes or inspires you (what is it you need right now?) and dance and sing along… let your body and voice move as a way to get your own energy moving and as a way to find some joy or comfort!

Rest – lying down and letting your body be horizontal, even for a few minutes is soothing to your nervous system. It does not have to be a full-blown nap. But, if you have 20 minutes, close your eyes, drift away, and take it!

   Fresh Air! – get outside to be in nature even if only for a few moments – take a breath of that fresh air into your lungs and find refreshment. If you can go for a walk, whether it be around the city block or in the woods, notice and connect with the nature around you – trees, birds, breeze, snow, sunshine… there is something enlivening about being with nature.

  Journaling – take a few minutes to do a short journaling. This could be simply to brain dump whatever’s on your mind and in your heart or you could do an exploration into deeper connection with yourself, asking and answering a question like “What is it that I most desire right now?” or looking at a bigger one like, “The life I envision is…” It’s amazing the wisdom that rises up when we give ourselves a few minutes to write without thinking or stopping.

  Create – get out some watercolors and paint away – see what wants to be expressed today; knit; craft with clay; make a collage; color or draw a mandala – all of these things are great ways to tap the creative part of our brain and get out of the thinking mind, which may really need a rest.

  Connect – connect with other people in person or by phone so that you can be seen and heard and have a chance to share laughter and struggle with someone else. Knowing we are not alone is really powerful. It can be really tempting to isolate when we’re feeling overwhelmed or down, so sometimes this one takes a conscious effort. The rewards are well worth it.

  Sprinkle in some JOY! – have something to look forward to each and every day that makes you happy, makes you laugh, warms your heart, or just brings in a gentle sense of contentment… there’s room for it every day, even in the darkest of times.

What ideas do you have? I’d love to hear yours in the comments below – we are each other’s teachers!

Self-care definitely needs to come in mini moments over and over again throughout the day. There are also times when it’s great to take a longer period of time to really fill up your own well if you can. Give yourself a half day or full day to simply listen to your heart and gut – what is it that would be nourishing, joyful, or healing for you today? Be willing to be surprised and be willing to change your “plan” if you start something and find out it isn’t filling you up as you had hoped. This isn’t about making plans or commitments – it’s about learning to listen to your own guidance and being gentle with yourself as it comes.

If you’d like a longer stint of self-care immersion, take a weekend or week-long retreat – alone or with a group. Retreats give you a chance to turn off the phone and computer, to step away from daily demands, and to create space for you – to go within and see what really needs your attention right now. Retreats are a time for your mind to relax, your body to rest, and all of you to slow down.

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Kindness Is a Practice

12/18/2015

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I was reminded recently by my yoga teacher, Amy Jo, that kindness is a practice, something to cultivate. Merriam-Webster defines practice as “the activity of doing something again and again in order to become better at it." We need to work at being kind in order to get better at it. What a concept! Kindness doesn’t just come naturally, but it’s something we actually need to be intentional about.

Furthermore, the foundation for kindness comes when we practice being kind to ourselves. It is not selfish to take time to be loving and kind with yourself, but rather wise and critical. We can’t give anything to anyone else that we don’t have within ourselves. We can’t expect to show up in the world offering kindness to others if we are continually beating ourselves up. We also can’t expect to create a ripple of love if we continually come from a place of anger or fear.

I noticed what happened when I jumped in to defend my son from someone who was upsetting him. Filled with anger, I began to call that person names and attack back, even though the person wasn’t here. I watched and felt the ugliness brew inside me and then ripple outward to everything and everyone around me. It infected my attitude so that I was interacting with grumpiness to anyone within striking range – both of my sons, and my poor husband who was only just waking up.

After I took my younger son to school, he exited the car quickly without his usual “I love you. Have a nice day,” and my first response was, “What’s wrong with you??” Then I realized it wasn’t him at all. It was me. He was merely mirroring my energy back to me, and he was trying to save himself by getting away as quickly as possible. Who could blame him?

Thankfully, yoga was an hour later, so very quickly I was brought back to my senses and sent on my way to lead a better rest of the day. We began with a discussion of loving kindness and then practiced a brief loving kindness meditation at the beginning and end of class. It reminded me of the practice I learned earlier this year in a Mindful Self-Compasssion workshop with Christopher Germer and Kristin Neff*.

Throughout yoga class we were encouraged to offer ourselves and our class mates kindness and gentleness as we moved through the various poses. Instead of beating myself up if I wobbled or skipped a pose, I was able to lovingly be there for myself and honor what was right for me today. I also sweetly appreciated the beauty of a well-executed pose by someone else. No judgment. No criticism. No comparison. So powerful.

If we want to create a kinder, more peaceful world, we must begin with ourselves and with those closest to us. We must cultivate this practice of being kind, gentle, and loving on a regular basis and from a place of inner peace, we can silently and anonymously send it out to anyone, anywhere in the world.

If you would like to be part of a kinder world, I invite you to try this today – begin with yourself and offer a simple meditation, such as, “May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.” Repeat these phrases (or come up with whatever words resonate with you) over and over at your own comfortable pace for just a few moments and notice what you feel inside. As you go through life’s happenings, when you find yourself feeling frustrated or upset with yourself, step back and again offer a phrase or two that you really need to hear to bring you back to peace.

Then take this show on the road - practice sending this silent offering to others. It’s a little easier to begin with someone you really love, someone who makes you smile, or someone who has shown you great kindness. However, with practice you will find yourself offering loving kindness to strangers who bump into you in the grocery store, drivers who cut you off in traffic, and even people who hurt you or your loved ones.

When we come from love and compassion, then we have the power to change not only our own lives but the world at large.

Thanks to Amy Jo at Bodhi Tree Yoga for offering this teaching to her classes and thereby touching the world with a little more love, kindness, and grace.

*you can get more information and free downloadable meditations at their websites by following these links

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What Would Love Do?

There’s Never Been a Better Time for Self-Care

Kindness Is a Practice

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What Would Love Do?

There’s Never Been a Better Time for Self-Care

Ki﻿ndness Is a Practice

About me...

Archives

Categories

Kindness Is a Practice