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A Vow

1/1/2020

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Often in our lives we make vows that serve to keep us safe or comfortable, but don’t really serve us in the grander scheme of things… vows like, “I’ll show them!”  “I will NEVER be like _______!” (likely someone who probably has some good qualities as well as whatever you are reacting to right now). “ I am not someone who ______!” (takes a risk that might actually bring joy or peace). “I will never love again!”  “This is just who I am.”  You get the idea…  do you have any of these? 

This morning I awoke with a strong vow brewing within me, needing to be expressed.  This is what it is  – I vow to bring something positive out of our experience with addiction into this world.  And, more importantly, I vow that addiction will NOT take my life, regardless of what it does to my son.  It does not have to break me, shatter me, or my world. 

This came to me almost as a promise to my son as I reflected on people I love, people who are my teachers – this journey will not be for nothing.  I feel a strong awareness and strength that I am still here.  I am still standing…despite many years of turbulence. I will do something positive and not let this monster destroy me, destroy us.  I am taking a stand for my life, my marriage, my work, and my larger family.  This is a stand I can take against this beast which seeks to consume and destroy my son, as well as everything in its wake. 

​I get to draw the line on where its damage stops.  It does not get to take everything from me.  Period.  That is within my control.  I do not have the disease.  It is not coursing through my veins and brain, and it does not get to define me or my life. 

This feeling is strong and vital as it surges through me – this life force energy that declares, “I will live.  I will thrive.  You cannot take me too.”  It’s not an angry reactive feeling, but rather a deeply calm, clear, and oh-so-strong knowing deep, deep, deep in my soul.  

I have purpose.  I have passion, and I will embody them and be a light in this world.  A lighthouse.  A beacon for those who are lost in stormy waters.  I do not have to go down with my son, and I most certainly will not, no matter how many times it beats at my shores, knocks me down, tears at my heart.  Again, and again I will stand – I will rise again and lift others up as we stare down this beast, and say, “NO!  Your damage stops here!” 

Well, all righty then… happy New Year!  Here I am world!  Apparently writing my manifesto for the decade… The power in this image and these words is palpable.  I am here. I am alive. I claim my life and step boldly, strongly into 2020, this year, this decade, this next day of my life. 

That’s all each of us is asked to do in any given moment – just show up.  Don’t give up.  Don’t hide out.  Show up.  The world needs what each of us has to bring and no one else has what you have to offer.  Your experiences, your vision, your words, your creativity – uniquely yours and deeply needed.  It doesn’t matter what’s already been said or done… no one else has done or ever will do what YOU have to offer.  There is only one _____________ (insert your name here), and there will never be another like you. 

We each have demons and things that threaten our well-being, peace of mind, and happiness.  What are yours and what stand do you want to take on behalf of yourself this day? 

As for me?  I vow to make this life matter.  I vow to take what I’ve learned from some of my most painful experiences and offer them as hope, strength, and inspiration.  And, I vow to enjoy my life – to live while I can, with no waiting.  I will be brave and courageous and wholehearted in my living – thank you, Brene´ Brown for that inspiration!  I am here and I choose to live! 

How about you? 
​As you step into this day, this new year, this new decade, what vow will you make as a heart promise to yourself?  Where can you be a light? Please drop me a note or share below.  I’d love to hear!  Together we help each other to see possibilities we may not have imagined before.  I stand beside you as we journey boldly into this new moment.  
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Do You Feel Free?

7/1/2019

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I woke one morning last week clearly hearing this question in a woman’s voice in my head: “Barb, do you feel free?”  It has stayed with me since then.  It’s hung around because I’m not sure how to answer it.  In many ways, yes, I absolutely feel very free.  And then there are the ways I don’t… the ways I hold myself back and the reasons I do.  The things I let stop me.  The beliefs behind those decisions.  The people I care about and what I think they need from me.  Responsibilities, obligations, and commitments.  Financial realities.  Rules and laws. 

What does “free” even mean?  Apparently that’s a great question since Merriam-Webster has 15 definitions, many with their own sub-definitions…  Take a look and see which ones you are curious about.

The one thing that helps me to feel free is to remember that I am always at choice -- as long as I am willing to accept the consequences of my choice.  I don’t get to choose how other people behave, but I am not powerless about how I respond.  I get to decide what my role will be, what words I will say and what actions I will take.

I don’t get to choose my feelings – they come in without warning quite naturally. But I do get to choose what I do with those emotions.  How I respond, how much weight I give them, how long I stay with them.

I do have choice, even though I may not realize it in the moment. 
Freedom to choose is paramount.
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I think I’ll spare you further musings while I continue to ponder this question that is landing deep in my being and invite you to join me. 

Do you feel free?  What does “free” mean to you and how do you know if you are or aren’t?  Where do you feel free?  Where do you feel trapped or powerless?  How might you bring in some more freedom to your days?  Why is free important?  What would life be like if you were free? 

Here’s one of my favorite songs to accompany you as you explore. 


Please, please share in the comments below.  This feels like a rich conversation! I look forward to hearing your insights and thoughts. 

Thanks for playing!  

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Life is Precious

2/16/2016

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Recently I have been reminded of the preciousness of life in many ways.  These wake-up calls to the impermanence of life come up regularly, and we remember for a short time.  Then we so easily slip back into business as usual.   And, yet, the urgency never leaves. The urgency to live life now.  To remember that this is not a dress rehearsal or a step toward something greater than this moment.  This is it – our only guaranteed moment is the one we are in right now. Today.  This moment.  Now is the time to live, to love, to show up to all that you are, to let your light shine.  Why wait?  

In the past week in my very small circle of awareness:
- a baby enters the world in timing that is considered “too early”  

- a young girl, barely into her teens takes her own life, far too soon, robbing herself of any possible tomorrows or a better future

- an older teen learns to feel the pain of a friend who’s lost his sibling and finds a little more love and appreciation in his heart for his own family

- a young man loses touch with his worth and steps back on the path of self-sabotage, numbing the pain in the only way he knows

- a great man who has humbly walked among us asking “How may I serve?” leaves his body prematurely and joins the angelic realm

- a mother mourns the unimaginable loss of a murdered child and begins her own long, tenuous, and tortuous healing journey
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- A mother loses herself briefly, drowning in her child’s pain, and then finds herself again, remembering her strength, purpose and passion that goes beyond parenting.  She shows up to life once again, ready to create and be all that she was born to be, all that she can be.

Most of this is happening only in my periphery, and yet it touches my heart and wakes up my soul. I am left to remember that none of this is for me to judge, question, or change, but only to be with.To trust. To love.To forgive. To find compassion even when it feels impossible. It’s been quite a powerful week… 

Everywhere in every moment, this cycle of life rolls on… birth, death, re-birth.  We cannot control it, no matter how hard we try.  We cannot stop it.  We may never understand it or be ok with it.  But, we can miss a lot if we keep on trying to fix, figure out, and control stuff that is not ours.
 
What we can do is commit to ourselves to stand for life – today we commit to show up to the world as the most authentic version of ourselves in every moment.  For when we show up in truth and authenticity, grace follows.  As we release the struggle and resistance to what “should not be,” we free ourselves and open to broader perspective and new possibility.  How might you show up today? What do you stand for?  Where can you let go a little and free yourself in
the process? 

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    About me...

    I am a writer, coach, and teacher, and I love capturing life's many moments through writing, whether that be journalling, blogging, poetry, or essay.  I have always found the written word as a natural way for me to express what lies within.  

    This is the space where we get real.  I will write about my life experiences and things that I find my clients encounter in their daily lives.   

    What's real for you? What would you like me to write about?  Feel free to share with me topics you would like to see discussed and please join in the dialogue through the comment section. Your engagement makes the blog a much richer place to hang out!

    Thank you for joining me on this journey!!    

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Barb Klein
Inspired Possibility
585-705-8740
barb@inspiredpossibility.com