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Gratitude... a Practice that has Changed My Life

11/24/2021

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Gratitude! It’s all the rage this Thanksgiving week and you will likely be flooded with messages about it.  But, here’s the thing. I have been practicing gratitude for at least 10 years now… so much so that it’s become part of who I am.  Sometimes it’s a more formal practice of reflecting and writing out or typing up what I’m grateful for.  Other times it’s simply an intentional reflection upon waking or before going to bed (try it – it can change your whole day or sleep!).  And, at other times, I just notice it throughout the day – if I’m moving slowly enough to notice, there is so much that catches my attention and fills me with appreciation.  Beautiful things, hard things I’ve faced and maybe worked through (at least a little), relationships that are easy, relationships that have been hard-won, things I could easily take for granted like the furnace running or the windows that allow in the beauty but keep the cold and critters out. 

Opportunities for gratitude are everywhere.  Sometimes I truly am grateful for the tears or for giving myself the time to hide away when I’m feeling sad, lost, confused, or afraid.  It’s not all about sunshine and rainbows.  And it’s definitely not about jumping over the hard stuff!  I do not want gratitude to be seen as a spiritual bypass – something that we go to even when we’re not feeling that way.  I don’t want anyone to squash themselves or to settle for less because they “know they should be grateful for what they have.”

Gratitude doesn’t say, “Stop longing.  Stop desiring.  Stop listening to your heart that is crying out for deeper connection or more meaning!”  It should not stop you from leaving the job that is sucking the life out of you just because you “should be grateful” that you even have a job… especially a good-paying job with benefits.  Please don’t weaponize gratitude in a way that keeps you stuck. 

Allow it to be a practice that fills you up and expands your view of life.  Let it change your experience of life as you regularly begin to notice what IS here that you do so deeply appreciate.  Let it pour out of you as you openly express to others what you appreciate about them, even when it feels awkward at first because who does that!? 

When we allow our attention to shift from its very natural, very human position of looking for what’s wrong or what could go wrong, to intentionally finding things to be grateful for, looking for what is “right” or “good,” we can literally change our brains.  We can also improve our physical and mental health.  We may find more joy, more flow, and less misery and angst. 

When I tell you that I’ve been able to find gratitude even in my darkest hours, even when I’ve been afraid my son would die, even when I’ve been awake all night with worry or anger after a particularly contentious interaction, I’m telling you the truth.  The key is I’ve also allowed myself to feel the fear, worry, anger, exhaustion.  It’s not an either-or kind of life we live.  We can feel it all.  And somehow the gratitude helps us to see the bigger picture of life beyond the narrow focus that despair and crisis can create. 

Gratitude is a life-changer - a genuine one.  Not a life hack!  I invite you to bring it into your daily life, not just on special holidays when the world tells you you should.  I encourage you to extend your gratitude beyond the obvious (though it’s a great place to begin with those people who are closest to you, who you love and adore, who lift you up)… extend your gratitude to the people who’ve done the work to ensure that you’re even reading this message – perhaps the eye doctor who prescribed your glasses, the person who installed your internet, those who design and create the technology that allows us to be connected across the miles.  Bring in gratitude for the farmers who planted the seeds and the workers who harvested the produce for the next meal you enjoy.  Give thanks for the beauty of the birds and their music that fills the air.  Find gratitude for the miracle that the sun continues to rise each day.  Soak in the miracle of fresh air and fresh water and reflect on those who stand up and do the work to ensure that we continue to have these things. 

Take a moment right now.  What are you grateful for in this moment?  Who do you want to share that with?  Who would you like to send a quick note or text of appreciation?  I invite you to join me in creating a wave of gratitude that continues beyond this week and that spreads far and wide.  Pay attention to how that changes your life and the lives of those around you. 

I am so grateful for you here in this community.  Thank you for being you, and thank you for being here!  

Here are a couple of meditations to support you in this practice: Invitation to Gratitude, Deeply Grateful, and Bathing in Gratitude  Please enjoy and fill up with these offerings.  

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How Might Gratitude Support You?

11/22/2017

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At this time of year gratitude and thankfulness are everywhere.  So I have been reflecting on how gratitude serves us, particularly when times are tough.

Gratitude in times of Transition

Transition and change, whether they are wanted or not, are uncomfortable and challenging.  They rock our world and throw us into unfamiliar and even more uncertain than usual territory.  Recently having gone through a big move, I’ve had a chance to feel this earth-shattering reality, even though I was making a change I very much wanted. 

One of the things that kept me grounded throughout the ups and downs of house buying and selling was my daily gratitude practice. Why?  Because at times when I was irrationally terrified, it balanced my perspective with a look at the things that were at least all right in my daily life.  It offset the natural human tendency to look at what’s wrong or anticipate the next disaster that might be lurking just around the corner.

When I was filled with excitement, joy, and eager anticipation, gratitude helped me to celebrate and take that in.  As much as we have a tendency to notice the “negative,” we also often seem to be conditioned to downplay or dismiss “positive” moments.  The pause of appreciative reflection allows us to take in and enjoy these happy moments. 

What is Gratitude?

Gratitude is about noticing things we appreciate and coming into relationship with what IS. Sometimes we can even be grateful for fear, anger, or sadness because they reveal something to me that needs to be seen – they uncover a layer of reality.  Gratitude isn’t always about sunshine and rainbows! It also isn’t about jumping over sad, angry or fearful feelings to get to a place of feeling good or looking for the silver lining.  But, it can help open us to see beyond what’s right in front of us that may feel all-consuming.

How Can Gratitude Support Me?

So, how might gratitude support you if you are going through a transition? If you’ve recently lost a job or a relationship, and you’re not sure what lies ahead, it might be tough to see or feel anything positive.  But if you were to take a few moments each day to find even the smallest thing to appreciate, it could shift not only your view of life but how you show up in life, to your family, and to the world at large (including to people you might be interviewing with or asking for support). 

Research has shown that people who practice gratitude are healthier, have more optimism and happiness, create stronger relationships, and are more generous.  These sound like traits of someone I’d want to be around (or hire!)… how about you? 
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What IS a Gratitude Practice?

What’s a gratitude practice look like?  Whatever you want it to! The key is to not make it a big “to do” or one more thing to add to your list of tasks to complete.  Find a way to bring in gratitude that feels supportive and nourishing for you.  Different things work for different people.  The first step is to slow down enough to even make the inquiry and notice what am I grateful for?  If you’re not in the habit of thinking this way or asking yourself that question, it may take a while to shift from your regularly programmed thinking. 

Here are some ideas to get you started.  Maybe upon waking you reflect on a few things you are grateful for before you even get out of bed; this is a beautiful way to start your day and can really influence how you approach whatever is before you.  You might want to keep a gratitude journal and jot down things you appreciate throughout the day.  Perhaps what works for you is an evening reflection before bed.  It’s a soothing bedtime routine and a great counter to the all too common thought that often creeps in that says “That day was a waste.” or “Wow, what a horrible day I had!”  It doesn’t matter whether you write, mentally note, or speak out loud your gratitude as long as you’ve taken some time to notice and acknowledge it.

Even on some of my most horrible days, I’ve been able to find things that I am truly, honestly grateful for – the cleansing tears that allowed my broken heart to crack open a little bit more and relieved me of having to hold it together; having a pillow to scream into and punch when my anger consumed me; loud music and a good car scream; the friend who made me laugh even when I wanted to cry or the friend who simply sat with me and let me feel what I was feeling. 

Don’t know where to get started? How about appreciating having clean air to breathe, fresh running water to drink, sunshine, a roof over your head, a fresh idea, or the beauty of birdsong.  Don’t force it.  Begin with what feels true to you. Notice something you truly do appreciate.  Then mentally reflect, write it, draw it, paint it, sing it, share it with a loved one… whatever works for you! 

If you’d like some practices to support you in cultivating gratitude, you might visit Greater Good In Action, where you will find several simple meditations and exercises to get you started or to enhance an existing practice. 

Have fun exploring how gratitude might support you.  Please let us know what you discover!!  

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The Power of Gratitude

11/26/2015

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It was natural for me to think of all of you today and to be inspired to sit down and write a quick note to you.  I am so very grateful for those of you who support me in doing the work that so fills my heart and soul with purpose.  You inspire me, and I am grateful for that.  I learn from you and I am driven to become a better me because of you.  So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being a part of my world. 

It’s Thanksgiving here in America, a day when we are reminded to be thankful.  It’s a day when many do take a moment to pause and reflect on what it is that we are grateful for, and that’s a beautiful thing.  But, what’s even more beautiful is when we incorporate gratitude into our everyday living.  When we can find gratitude for small things we can truly change our attitude and our state of wellbeing.  For me that cute bulldog puppy in the grocery store parking lot who made me smile this morning was one of those small things.  Today I also really appreciated the yoga teachers who were offering donation-based practices, giving of their time to be of service to our community.  I am grateful that my husband is raking out our gardens and preparing them for the winter ahead. I’m grateful for a couple of days of warmth that are here so that I can put my Christmas lights up with comfort.  And, I am grateful for my family that is with me today, even as I miss those I love who aren’t here now.  

There have been a lot of posts out recently about the power and health benefits of gratitude, and I encourage you to search them out if you’d like to know more.  I’m here to share my personal experience with the power of a daily gratitude practice.  
Most days I post what I am grateful for that day on my Facebook page – sometimes in the morning, but usually in the evening as I reflect back on my day.  And this might make my life look great and throw me into that unloved group of people called the “better thans” (or something like that – people who give the impression that their lives are so much better than yours).  That’s not my intention at all, and sometimes I include gratitude for the sadness or grumpiness I’ve felt that day and for my ability to be with it or to let it pass.  I’m always grateful when I’ve been able to find gratitude on a day when it’s really hard.  And, for me, that’s one of the most powerful aspects of this practice – it helps me to shift my perspective from “That was a really cra
ppy day” to, “Yes, I’m having a really tough time right now AND I can still find things to be grateful for."

I am striving to welcome all aspects of the full richness of life into my experience, because this is real, and being real is really important to me.  Life is full of ups and downs, shadow and light, joy and sorrow for ALL of us.  To fully live life means to allow what is here to exist, to not always be wishing for something other than what we are living in this moment, and to remember that everything is in a state of flow and transition.  

Whatever we are feeling right now won’t last forever, whether we perceive it to be “good” or “bad.” So to be able to breathe in to the here and now, to notice it and welcome it in, whether it’s really joyful or peaceful or extremely painful or uncomfortable, is a valuable practice.  This noticing and welcoming helps me to get back into a flow with life.  Often times when I am suffering I notice that it’s because I am resisting some aspect of my life, wishing it were different, wanting something else, something I may never have.  Also, I don’t want to miss out on truly appreciating and soaking in the sweetness of a particular day. 

So, to find a way to be grateful even when life doesn’t look the way I’d like it to, even when my heart is really heavy and I’m feeling very sad and afraid has helped me to keep on going.  It helps me notice and remember all that is in my life, and it helps me to slow down and be present.  It allows me to find and create joy and peace and to have those coexist with sadness and loss.  It’s not an all or nothing world – there’s room for it all.    
 
My invitation to you is to find a way to incorporate gratitude into your daily life in whatever way works for you.  You could simply take a moment of quiet, close your eyes and silently reflect on what you feel grateful for in that moment and really feel the sensation in your body.  You might want to journal in the morning or evening (or any time in between) a list of a few things you’re grateful for.  I’ve found gratitude to be a really great way to begin my day and start it off with an intentionally different tone than it might have otherwise had, and it’s also a great way to send myself to bed and into a more peaceful sleep.  You might choose to send a quick note to people you appreciate, letting them know what it is you appreciate about them.  

Thoughts?  What ideas do you have for bringing gratitude in to your life? What have you found to work or what would you like to try?  Please let us know in the comments below – it’s through sharing that we all may grow and learn.  

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    About me...

    I am a writer, coach, and teacher, and I love capturing life's many moments through writing, whether that be journalling, blogging, poetry, or essay.  I have always found the written word as a natural way for me to express what lies within.  

    This is the space where we get real.  I will write about my life experiences and things that I find my clients encounter in their daily lives.   

    What's real for you? What would you like me to write about?  Feel free to share with me topics you would like to see discussed and please join in the dialogue through the comment section. Your engagement makes the blog a much richer place to hang out!

    Thank you for joining me on this journey!!    

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Barb Klein
Inspired Possibility
585-705-8740
[email protected]