Inspired Possibility
  • Home
  • About
    • Testimonials
    • Privacy Policy
  • Work with Me
    • Coming Home to Yourself Coaching
    • Serenity Now Retreats
  • Events
    • Come Home to Yourself Retreat
  • The Book!
    • Book Testimonials
  • Blog
    • Subscribe
  • Resources
  • Contact

Beauty and Gratitude can Change Your Life

10/31/2023

4 Comments

 
Picture
I struggled with whether to publish this post at this time; daily we are bombarded with heartbreaking headlines.  Is now the time for a post about beauty and gratitude?  I decided yes, it was.  Because in times like this, we need to find a counterbalance more than ever.  We need to remember that our world is more than horrifying headlines and traumatic events.  Always, even now, there is beauty.  There are things to be grateful for. 

It’s a profound understatement to say there are a multitude of horrible, terrifying, and devastating things happening in the world – in our communities, country, and across the globe. Whether you’re glued to the news or not, the energy of these events affects us all.  We likely feel powerless as to what to do – especially for things that are happening far away or are so impossibly overwhelming we don’t even know where to begin. 

Also, we may not know what to do in our own lives when things feel out of control, scary, uncertain, and people we love are in trouble.  The more we fret, the more exhausted we become, and we think less clearly.  When we rehash the bad, the painful, re-telling the same upsetting story over and over, we strengthen the heavy impact it has on us.  We add to our own stress. 

Every single one of us is programmed to focus on pain, what’s wrong, and to be on the lookout for danger or impending doom – that’s part of human nature that has kept us safe and alive for eons.  Scientists call this the negativity bias. 

In his blog, Rick Hanson describes it this way - “Your brain is continually looking for bad news. As soon as it finds some, it fixates on it with tunnel vision, fast-tracks it into memory storage, and then reactivates it at the least hint of anything even vaguely similar. But good news gets a kind of neural shrug: “uh, whatever. In effect, the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.” 

The negative experiences stick to us, poke at us, and wear us down, while we ignore, brush off, or don’t even notice positive ones.  Sometimes we miss much of what’s “good,” simply because we take it for granted. For instance (and hypothetically speaking, of course! 😉), you might not think about how strong your legs are and how much they do for you until you break your foot.  Once you’ve broken that foot and your mobility and independence are affected, it grabs your attention and pulls you into the pit of feeling bad.  It can be hard to think about anything else, and you may pile on by judging yourself for having such a stupid accident (hypothetically speaking, again!). 
 
The good news is there are simple and accessible ways to shift our mindset and experience – when we do so, we can better show up for the things that require our energy.

We need to find ways to re-energize ourselves, and one of those ways is to find a broader perspective and remember things are not all or nothing, good or bad.  Truly, a wide array of experiences and offerings aany given moment. Yes, there's horror, and yes, there's more than that.  

While I’ve learned that I’m not in control of the experiences in my life.  I broke my foot, my son died, it’s raining, wars are raging worldwide – these are facts, and obviously facts that vary in intensity and severity.  They are things I wish were different, and there's nothing  I can do to change them. 

And yet, even when times are tough or excruciatingly painful, there is still good in life.  We have the ability to find it, notice it, or create it.  And, let me be clear, I’m not talking about avoiding, denying, or jumping over the rough stuff through pretending, spiritual bypassing, or looking for the silver lining too soon (or ever) in untenable events.  Nor am I suggesting you say affirmations that tell you things are better than they are (unless that works for you. In which case, affirm away!). 

But, what is true, is that each and every day, no matter the agony, pain, and heartache, there is also beauty somewhere in life.  Whether it’s the red-bellied woodpecker flitting through the trees, crying out to be seen or the cascade of golden leaves floating to the lawn or the dandelion brave enough to peek up through the cement, there’s something beautiful here.  A coffee mug given by a dear friend.  A photo of a special memory.  The scent of a pumpkin chai candle.  Beauty does not have to be big or bold, but it does long to be seen, witnessed, savored. 

In her beautiful book for navigating tough times, Keep Moving, Maggie Smith speaks of the way she and her children delight in sharing “beauty emergencies” – those things that have to be seen right away, before they’re gone.  If one of them sees a spectacular sunset or a dinosaur in the clouds, they’ll call out to the others, “Beauty emergency!”  so they can cherish it together and no one misses out.  What a sweet way to be on alert for something wonderful.  Maybe all emergencies aren’t bad. 

Life has been very chaotic for us over the past 14 years with my son’s struggles with substance use and other mental health challenges.  So much despair.  So much fear.  Times adding up to months of lost connection and opportunities over the years.  It would have been easy for me to have been all-consumed with all that was bad, scary, unknown. In the deep grief since his physical passing, it’s easy to cry endlessly and think of nothing other than how much I miss him.   But even with all the pain and suffering, there is also much to be grateful for. 

That we had 29 years with him, I am grateful for.  That I got to be his mom.  For the happy and hopeful moments that were scattered in there, I am grateful.  The small things like a hug or a deep conversation – those were always a gift.  Because I knew how precarious his life and our time together was, I learned to cherish precious moments along the way.  And when I was too upset with him to find gratitude within that relationship, I opened my heart to the fullness of life.  A delicious meal, a warm home, fresh water and air, or a friend who’d let me vent were things I could be grateful for. 

Gratitude: 
Taking time to pause and open my heart to beauty and gratitude has changed my experience of life – the way I feel about and within life. For over a decade I have had an intentional gratitude practice.  Usually that means in the evening taking some time to reflect on the day and list things that I am grateful for, things I’ve noticed throughout the day, and share it on Facebook.  I’m not sure how this practice started, but it has become a daily ritual that strengthens me; sharing with others fills me up. 

On particularly hard mornings, I’ve taken a little time while still in bed, reflecting on what I’m grateful for; this practice helps me enter the day.  Somehow something inside of me softens as I remember and acknowledge beautiful bits of life.  The other day I sat on our deck and softly offered verbal thanks for the people who’ve shown up to walk through this chapter of life with me; taking just a few minutes to acknowledge long-standing friendships and new people who are coming into my circle – feeling them in my heart as I pictured each one.  These are some of the ways I’ve taken time to intentionally reflect and feel into gratitude. 

Finding Beauty: 
I also look for beauty each day and share pictures on Facebook as well.  “Today’s beauty” posts seem to offer a welcome and different vibe to this platform.  I like sharing sunsets, cloud formations, leaves, trees, and flowers with people.  I love rippling beauty into a dark and ugly time and a space that is too often contentious.    

The more I practice gratitude and look for beauty, the more I find myself noticing throughout the day.  The more I notice things I appreciate, the less I dwell on all that’s wrong.  This isn’t a magic formula or an exercise to check off a list, but rather a way to open my heart and spirit to all of life.  Gratitude lives alongside grief in my mind and heart, woven together, inseparable.  After my dear friend, Mary, passed away, I wrote a bit about this in “Good Grief, Gratitude, and Grace.”  I was absolutely devastated to have lost the one person in my life who always made me laugh and who willingly opened her heart to all of me.  There was nothing I had to hide from Mary.  Who would I turn to now?  And yet, gratitude and grace were there too.  It’s been the same since my son, Nate, died; this crushing loss has dropped me to my knees and isolated me more than any loss in my life and it lives inside my heart right along with beauty, grace, and gratitude. 

Life will bring what life will bring.  How we meet it is up to us.  I’m in for the full human experience, so I don’t shy away from the depths of grief and sadness.  But I’m also always on the hunt for beauty and gratitude.  Slowing down enough to feel gratitude seep through the cells of my being, breathing it in, allowing it to permeate the deep dark places softens my heart, welcomes the tears, and expands my capacity for living fully.  Savoring beauty often takes my breath away, filling me with wonder and awe. 

Beauty and gratitude help us to see and think about more than all that’s wrong with the world, all that’s hard or painful in our lives.  They remind us that life is full of a vast variety of people, things, and experiences.  We’re not trying to cancel out or deny anything; we’re adding in more of what we might have been missing.  Where we choose to focus our attention affects us. 


“When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.”  Maya Angelou

An Invitation:
Today I invite you to join me in this quest to find moments of beauty and gratitude.  Let’s try it right now.  Wherever you are, whether it’s on the subway or in the most peaceful bedroom sanctuary, look around.   What do you see that’s beautiful?  Take it in – the colors, shapes, texture, scent.  Allow its beauty to lift a smile.  As you sit here, close your eyes and feel into one thing you’re grateful for, no matter how big or small.  Experience what it feels like to fully appreciate something.  Breathe in the feeling of gratitude and allow it to flow through your cells.  What do you notice? 

Take your time and take in as much beauty and gratitude as you like, and then throughout your day be on the lookout for more.  Give thanks.  Appreciate what you find.  Over time, you may just find your experience of life shifting.  Please share your experience with us here!  

4 Comments
Julie M Shahin
10/31/2023 02:39:13 pm

Barb, I appreciate your ability to find and share beauty and gratitude. I often need a reminder, especially to stop, slow down and acknowledge that I have so much to be grateful for in this life. Thank you for sharing yourself. Blessings

Reply
Barb
10/31/2023 06:53:50 pm

Julie, Thanks for reading and for taking the reminder to slow down and find that gratitude. I appreciate you being here and sharing your reflection. With gratitude, Barb

Reply
Francis
7/1/2024 05:52:57 am

The world benefits from individuals like you who inspire us to find beauty in life even during difficult times. Life may be tough, but with determination and introspection, we can uncover its beauty like hidden gems.

Reply
Barb
7/1/2024 03:19:56 pm

Thank you for reading and reflecting, Francis. Beauty is here, alongside the tough and perhaps even within the tough as you've shared. Appreciate you sharing.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Subscribe

    About me...

    I am a writer, coach, and teacher, and I love capturing life's many moments through writing, whether that be journalling, blogging, poetry, or essay.  I have always found the written word as a natural way for me to express what lies within.  

    This is the space where we get real.  I will write about my life experiences and things that I find my clients encounter in their daily lives.   

    What's real for you? What would you like me to write about?  Feel free to share with me topics you would like to see discussed and please join in the dialogue through the comment section. Your engagement makes the blog a much richer place to hang out!

    Thank you for joining me on this journey!!    

    Archives

    May 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    June 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    October 2023
    August 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    May 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Anger
    #AtoZ Challenge
    Balance
    Biopsy
    Cancer
    Career
    Challenge
    Change
    Choice
    Comfort Zone
    Commitment
    Compassion
    Connection
    Coronoavirus
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Discernment
    Discomfort
    Disconnect
    Dreams
    Election
    Empathy
    Empowerment
    Extraordinary
    Family Recovery
    Fear
    Freedom
    Grace
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Harm Reduction
    Health
    Holidays
    Hope
    Inner Work
    Inquiry
    Inspiration
    Intention
    Intuition
    Joy
    Kindness
    Letting Go
    Life
    Light
    Logic
    Loving Kindness
    Meditation
    Mental Health
    Mindfulness
    Mom
    National Recovery Month
    New Year
    Overdose Awareness
    Overwhelm
    Pause
    Peace
    Perfectionism
    Personal Growth
    Perspective
    Possibility
    Presence
    Procrastination
    Purpose
    Quarantine
    Recovery
    Relationships
    Responsibility
    Rest
    Retreat
    Sadness
    Self Awareness
    Self Care
    Self-care
    Self Compassion
    Self-compassion
    Self Renewal
    Self-renewal
    Slowing Down
    Solstice
    Sport
    Stillness
    Strength
    Substance Use Disorder
    Support
    Thanksgiving
    Time
    Transition
    Wellbeing
    Women's Retreat

    RSS Feed

Barb Klein
Inspired Possibility
585-705-8740
[email protected]