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Cultivating a Relationship of Self-Trust

12/20/2020

2 Comments

 
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How well do you trust yourself?  Really trust yourself for things like listening to your inner guidance, being with yourself through all of your experiences, listening to your body, and having your own back? 

We live in a world that encourages us not to trust ourselves… not believing in ourselves, looking outward for answers, guidance, solutions. Buy this makeup, follow this diet, change your world.  Listen to this guru who knows what you need (and is all too happy to tell you so!).  Follow this trend…

Furthermore, most of us have a loud and ferocious inner critic who is all too happy to tell us all the things that are wrong with us – causing us to doubt ourselves or beat ourselves up when we think we’ve said the wrong thing, done the wrong thing, or are considering taking a big bold leap into something new.  “Who do you think you are?” is often a familiar refrain. 

Is it any wonder that many of us struggle in this area?  Trusting ourselves, believing in ourselves, being with ourselves through joy and pain is not something that has been taught or encouraged. 

I was inspired to explore this topic after discussing one of Susan Piver’s talks (which you can find here) with my Meditation Instructors Group.  One of the key takeaways for me was that turning toward our experience, leaning into our feelings, is a critical element to cultivating a trusting relationship with ourselves.  Feeling the reassurance that we have the capacity to be with ourselves, to make room for our feelings, to be with the unknown, not that we have all of the answers, but that we resourced enough to turn toward what is here, moment by moment.

Trusting ourselves comes into play when we find ourselves facing a familiar uncomfortable scenario – remembering things we have been through in the past and acknowledging past courage, strength, resilience.  We can also trust that we have grown and changed since the last time we’ve been confronted with a situation; we are not the same person, so we can respond differently this time. 

Building a loving relationship of gentleness, compassion, and kindness toward ourselves allows us to come home to ourselves in a way that feels safe because we can trust that we will be received in a way that is welcoming.  When we can learn to trust ourselves, when we find ourselves worthy of our trust, life changes. 

I invite you to play with this idea.  Try trusting your intuition, your gut, your wisdom and guidance, your ability to know what you need and to ask for help when you need it.  Play with the idea that you’ve got this (whatever “this” is) and at the very least you will walk with yourself through it, finding your way. 

Value your own opinion and ideas.  Respect your own experience.  Cherish your moments of delight.  Sit with your moments of sadness and fear, knowing you don’t have to push through or jump over anything – you get to be exactly where you are, moment by moment!  The more you meet yourself in this way, the stronger this practice will become.  The more deeply you will find yourself in a place of centered self-trust.

I’ve recorded this short talk and meditation for you to support your exploration. 

If you’d like to receive weekly meditations from me, email me and say “please add me to the meditation list!”  and you will receive one each Wed. AM. 

Please share your thoughts, reflections, and insights below!  

Wishing you peace, love, and trust!  

2 Comments
Deborah Hamilton
1/13/2021 02:23:45 pm

Sadly, I am not able to join the group tonight, and trust can be a challenge for me. Barb's writings and meditation on this topic are inspiring and helped me to take a look at times when I have gotten through tough challenges by showing up for myself. As she says, "Everytime you show up for yourself, you are strengthened."

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Barb
1/13/2021 04:46:39 pm

Hi Deborah! Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you can't join us this evening. Trust is such a challenge for me!! (Probably why I write about it - we're always sharing what we ourselves are learning, right!?) I appreciate you reading and reflecting your insights here. Reading that quote is a good reminder!

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    About me...

    I am a writer, coach, and teacher, and I love capturing life's many moments through writing, whether that be journalling, blogging, poetry, or essay.  I have always found the written word as a natural way for me to express what lies within.  

    This is the space where we get real.  I will write about my life experiences and things that I find my clients encounter in their daily lives.   

    What's real for you? What would you like me to write about?  Feel free to share with me topics you would like to see discussed and please join in the dialogue through the comment section. Your engagement makes the blog a much richer place to hang out!

    Thank you for joining me on this journey!!    

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Barb Klein
Inspired Possibility
585-705-8740
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