Inspired Possibility
  • Home
  • About
    • Testimonials
    • Privacy Policy
  • Work with Me
    • Coming Home to Yourself Coaching
    • Serenity Now Retreats
  • Events
    • Come Home to Yourself Retreat
  • The Book!
    • Book Testimonials
  • Blog
    • Subscribe
  • Resources
  • Contact

Human Happens... It's OK!

1/26/2021

4 Comments

 
PictureGrumpy cat (weird for "Human Happens" I admit but this face... oh my!)
Remember that great book, “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day?”  I think he did have a string of rotten things happen to him that had him dreaming of running away to Australia…  or maybe he just had a rotten day.  It happens. 

I found myself in a rotten foul mood for no good reason at all (but we think we need a reason, don’t we!?)  In fact, there were lots of reasons on that particular day that I “should” have been happy!  The sun was shining, I had nothing but a great day planned, my arm was pain-free for the first time in a long time, on and on and on…  And the fact that I “should” have been happy only made it worse that I really wanted to jump out of my own skin!  (that never goes well, by the way!)

My mind wanted to make sense of it (as minds do)… if I could understand it, then my brain could categorize it, and tuck it away neatly in a file as that reason for bad moods…  My self-care teacher self knew all of the things I COULD do to try to shift it, but I wanted nothing to do with any of them.  In fact, these are the times when I want to throw my own book across the room and I tell my own teachings to “F%$K off!”  My Buddhist teachings kicked in to remind me to just be with it.  That really didn’t feel great, but in the end, that’s the path I took. 

Being human is messy.  Life is messy.  Bad moods will come. Good moods will come.  Inspiration will rise up and at other times, like the other day, we will find ourselves flailing and floundering in the dark... feeling we have nothing to offer the world.  In those dark pit of ick moments it’s hard to see the way out and the last thing we want to hear is “This too shall pass…”  Will it!?  I’m sure it will, but right now, this is where I am – let me be! 

Even today as I reflected on it in my journaling, I noted that I am feeling “more like myself” with some small sense of relief.  Then I noticed the implied judgement in that…  as if “myself” is the one who is uplifting and inspired and feeling good… as if the me who is down, depressed, pissy, and just irritable for no good reason is not really me. 

Whew!  This being human is not for the faint of heart, especially if, like me, you love exploring this inner landscape which can get oh so messy and confusing at times! 

But what’s really important is for each of us to remember that human happens. Human isn’t always pretty, it isn’t always what we prefer, it includes all the feelings and all the thoughts and worries, and it can swoop in unexpected and uninvited.  When it does, what we do with it matters.  How we treat ourselves in these moments matters.

There is a movement out there that supports the idea that we should feel good all the time and that the goal is to get to that feel good state at all costs and as soon as possible.  This, my friends, is spiritual BS, spiritual bypassing.  Even if we buy into the idea that peace is our natural inherent state and that love is what we’re made of, we are still going to have terrible, rotten, no good days for no obvious reason.  And it is OK!! 

Self-care doesn’t mean do all the things so you can feel better as soon as possible. Self-care means sit with yourself, as you are in your current state of exhaustion, confusion, anger, sadness, or ugliness… that’s it. Just be with yourself there and give yourself tender loving care and acceptance.  OK, this is how it’s gonna be right now.  I don’t like it, but I’m willing to sit with this discomfort.  You’re not doing life wrong.  You’re not doing anything wrong.  You are simply being your very real, very vulnerable, very tender, open-hearted self.  Cause, damn it, the more open our hearts are, the more we will feel!  (I offer you this meditation – Befriending Yourself – to help you sit with yourself lovingly).

Now, might my bad mood be a natural after-effect from the happenings in the world, the relief and coming down after Wednesday’s inauguration and the end of an intensive 5-day training?  Might I have just simply hit a wall of exhaustion after 11 months of COVID?  Sure, maybe… And, who cares?  What I want to do is to normalize bad days.  To give each of us permission to just have a bad day… without apology, without explanation, without worry, without shame.  And, actually, to even expect them.  They are part of riding the waves…  it’s unsustainable to stay in the crest all the time. The dip, the fall, the drop will inevitably come, until the next swell. 

To think that we are “less than” on these days, that we should somehow apologize for ourselves, hide away, and pretend to be ok when we are not is the very opposite of loving self-care.  To put up a false front is to chop off a very real part of ourselves and that’s just cruel… 
​
Human happens.  You’re human.  I’m human.  It’s OK.  Some days are just like this.  This too shall pass…  (cue the throwing of the book or tomatoes, or whatever! 😊)

And, here's the secret and the truth... the more we are able to sit with these times of discomfort, to wait them out in all of their ickiness, the less we stay stuck in them.  We are better able to move through when we lean into what's here than when we try to stuff our feelings down, hide them away, or banish them from the building.  

Thoughts?  


4 Comments
Steve
1/27/2021 01:24:11 pm

Nice piece, Barb!

Reply
Barb
1/28/2021 04:18:26 pm

Thanks, Steve! Glad it resonated with you!

Reply
Emmi
2/3/2021 06:56:01 am

I needed to read this, thank you very much!

Reply
Barb
2/3/2021 04:02:35 pm

You're welcome. So glad it spoke to you and felt supportive.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Subscribe

    About me...

    I am a writer, coach, and teacher, and I love capturing life's many moments through writing, whether that be journalling, blogging, poetry, or essay.  I have always found the written word as a natural way for me to express what lies within.  

    This is the space where we get real.  I will write about my life experiences and things that I find my clients encounter in their daily lives.   

    What's real for you? What would you like me to write about?  Feel free to share with me topics you would like to see discussed and please join in the dialogue through the comment section. Your engagement makes the blog a much richer place to hang out!

    Thank you for joining me on this journey!!    

    Archives

    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    May 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    #AtoZ Challenge
    Balance
    Biopsy
    Cancer
    Career
    Challenge
    Change
    Choice
    Comfort Zone
    Commitment
    Compassion
    Connection
    Coronoavirus
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Discernment
    Discomfort
    Disconnect
    Dreams
    Election
    Empathy
    Empowerment
    Extraordinary
    Family Recovery
    Freedom
    Grace
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Health
    Holidays
    Hope
    Inner Work
    Inquiry
    Inspiration
    Intention
    Intuition
    Joy
    Kindness
    Letting Go
    Life
    Light
    Logic
    Loving Kindness
    Meditation
    Mental Health
    Mindfulness
    Mom
    National Recovery Month
    New Year
    Overwhelm
    Pause
    Peace
    Perfectionism
    Personal Growth
    Perspective
    Possibility
    Presence
    Procrastination
    Purpose
    Quarantine
    Recovery
    Relationships
    Responsibility
    Rest
    Retreat
    Sadness
    Self Awareness
    Self Care
    Self-care
    Self Compassion
    Self-compassion
    Self Renewal
    Self-renewal
    Slowing Down
    Solstice
    Sport
    Stillness
    Strength
    Substance Use Disorder
    Support
    Thanksgiving
    Time
    Transition
    Wellbeing

    RSS Feed

Barb Klein
Inspired Possibility
585-705-8740
barb@inspiredpossibility.com