(originally posted 6/10/18)

​There was a day when I didn't know about retreats and how powerful they are and what a critical piece of my well-being they would become  I imagine there are others out there who also wonder... who haven't yet discovered the magic of retreat.  So, I'd like to share with you just a few great reasons to give yourself the gift of retreat, for however long you may take or in whatever form!  What are some of the benefits and why would anyone make the investment of time and energy to retreat for a bit? 

1. Get out of routine - there's great value in simply breaking the pattern of everyday life - of taking yourself out of your usual habits and routines.  By changing things up, we tap into wonder and curiosity about life.  We begin to open to new ideas, insights, and creativity. We open our eyes to new perspectives. We see new possibility that we hadn't considered before.  We lighten up, let go, and even have fun!!  When you break away from the daily routine, there is nothing to fix or figure out.  Your mind can truly rest.  Aaahhhh...  to me, that alone is worth the price of admission!  

2. Slow down - We live in a world where go, go, go, is the norm.  Demands are coming fast and furious and we find ourselves pulled in so many directions with no relief in sight.  Our pace is unsustainable and our to-do list never-ending.  But, we don't know how to stop sometimes.  This pace is taking a toll on our health and well-being.  When we slow down, we calm our mind and soothe the nervous system. Then we notice the beauty of nature, our own body, people in our world.  We have to step off the hamster wheel to be with these sweeter things.  

3. Quiet the outer noise -  Oh my goodness!  There is so much coming at us all the time - news, ads, social media, political banter... it's an endless onslaught of noise, opinions, and provocations.  You've noticed that, right?  Just taking a media break for a brief period of time is super healing and restorative.  Imagine room to breathe without your phone constantly pinging in your ear.  Step away and feel the sigh of relief and the sense of peace.  In this space we begin to listen to our hearts and souls and hear our own inner guidance.  

We don't need more intensity - the world brings plenty of that.  We don't need more things to do - we have more activities than we can keep up with already.  Retreat is designed to be restorative and nourishing.  

Why do you retreat? Please join the conversation in the comments and let us know!  Together we grow and learn!  

Does retreat sound good to you? If you like this sound of this and would love to join a circle of like-minded women who are ready for a little of this retreat sweetness, join us for an upcoming retreat!  

At my retreats, everything is an invitation.  You are free to rest as needed. Explore the land as you commune with nature or give your body some movement among the trees and hills if that's your thing.  Lean into time with yourself.  And, rest into a world of no expectation. 

I hold our retreat space as safe and sacred - in this space you need only show up for yourself.  You are free to participate in the way that's comfortable for you and you are free to share and listen knowing that this is a zone where there is no advising, no figuring out what anyone else "should" do, and no worry that anyone is going to tell you what you should do.  This is a place and space to deepen your connection with yourself and to learn to honor yourself more deeply than ever before.  

Questions?  Let me know!  Know someone who would love this?  Please share this with them!  And, if you're ready to jump on board, you can register here! 

"A women's retreat springs from and is about stepping out of your ordinary existence to listen and attune to your truest, most authentic self...  It is setting apart time to tend the hearth of your inner life, feed your muse, reclaim your dreams."  ~ Jennifer Louden, The Women's Retreat Book

​What a month August was… in 31 days, I spent more days in places and experiences than I hope others experience in a lifetime – places where I felt alone and powerless and sad. Places where broken systems are anything but supportive and generate a sense of frustration and oppression.  Experiences that remind me I’m in a reality I certainly never imagined.

Places filled with fear, sadness, grief, and anxiety so thick you can feel it surrounding you as you enter the overflowing and slow-moving parking garage… places where no one wants to be. Places cloaked with the stench of sickness and the heaviness of despair – where people in white coats rush about and noises drone constantly.  You visit but don’t glean much information or hope.  Any day at the hospital is inherently draining. 

Places where I succumb to a search of my property and person even though I have committed no crime. I simply want to board a plane or love someone who is on the wrong side of the bars.  Places where those in uniform clearly hold the power, and it is most wise to suppress and succumb. 

Shopping for 6 whites, 6 socks, 6 boxers… alongside excited RIT and U of R students and their parents preparing for the upcoming school year and the promise it holds. I shop not for the hallowed halls of these institutions but for the stark concrete barricade of an institution of last choice and lost hope.  I hope you don’t know what this feels like, but if you do, know that you are not alone…

Phone calls that don’t simply ring through but require agonizing minutes of recorded messages along with so much button pushing… calls that cannot be answered on the fly and can’t be returned if you miss them. 

It’s been a month of epic highs, extreme lows and some flatline numbness.  Along with the places I’ve mentioned already, I’ve also had moments that blew me away with their beauty and wonder!

Leading retreat at the serene Himalayan Institute with a group of women who openly share their hearts; Camp is in Your Heart in the incredibly gorgeous Colorado Rocky Mountains with people who share inspiration, hope, and also struggle.  Guiding my sweet and wise Self-Care Sanctuary group through practices that nourish and sustain us and working with clients who are fully embracing their life and their strengths while facing their challenges… these are some of the highs.  I have also cherished quieter highs in times with my beloved or a dear friend, sharing simple moments of life as well as our dreams and fears. 

All of this has required me to walk between pretty open-hearted places (where I much prefer to be and how I really want to show up to life) and places where I’ve needed to armor up a bit, to protect my tender heart. It can be hard to dance back and forth between those two ways of being.

I’m generally a pretty optimistic positive person, and I have had more mornings than I’d like to admit that have begun with “I guess I’m ready to face the day.”  My practices are lucky if I don’t forget them, and I am fortunate when I have remembered…  they ground me.  Otherwise, my mind easily gets away from me into thoughts about the past or worries about the future. 

Why Share? 
Why share this with you?  Well, why not?  When I share, I no longer have to hold my story in silence and shame or fear of judgment.  As I share, each of you can lightly hold a piece of my story with me, which lightens the load on my heart.  I remember that I do not walk through this world alone. 

And, more importantly, maybe my sharing will allow you to open your heart and share yours. Each one of us has challenges and suffering that too often we try to bear alone.  Why?  What good does that do? 

If You are Hurting...  
If you’re hurting, please ask for help. Ask for listening.  Ask for support.  Ask for someone simply to walk with you through the pain.  And when you need it, ask for time to be alone.  But, always remember, you do not have to face this on your own. Whatever “this” is for you. 
​
Find practices that support and nourish your body, mind, heart, and soul.  Here are a few that have worked for me:

• Gratitude – this is a keystone practice for me. I find it every day, in the smallest of moments and in things I might otherwise take for granted, even for tears and sad feelings. I find gratitude for being alive enough to notice. 
• Yoga – it brings all of our parts into the same space, reminds us of a strength and flexibility we may not have been feeling, and gives our nervous system a chance to settle for a bit. 
• Rest – getting all the rest we need and letting it be ok, knowing that it takes a lot of energy to go through hard times.
• Nature – whether that be a walk among the trees, sitting on the grass staring up at the clouds or stars, or getting out on the lake… nature has its own soothing embrace that bathes our souls in its gentleness.  
• Simple Joy – find simple pleasures and let yourself enjoy them.  Find laughter and play.  Movies and mindless TV have been part of my self-care – they transport me out of my own head, life, and story, and carry me away to another place and time, if only for a short while.  They help to shift my energy. 

        Have something to look forward to every day and also make plans for concerts, trips, and fun              times with those you love. 

                        Your life is still happening and you deserve to engage in it,
                                              even when circumstances are grim. 

• Gentle yourself – (yes, I am intentionally using “gentle” as a verb – try it!) be very, very gentle with your tender, aching heart and lean into care, letting it be ok, releasing any harsh self-judgment. 
• Simplify – eliminate the drudgery – avoid the tendency to treat your life as a chore.  Reschedule, delegate, and do what is absolutely required – the rest can and will wait.  Leave some (or a lot) of white space in your calendar; in hard times we need extra spaciousness and breathing room. 

Remember, even when things aren’t going well, you can still take time and find ways to take care of you so that you can live your life.  Where there is breath, there is hope.  If you’re reading this it’s safe to assume you are breathing.  Hold on to that hope and live YOUR life!  

​In Daring Greatly, Brene Brown says, "Connection is why we are here; it gives purpose and meaning to our lives."  I know this to be true.  

Recently I’ve been reflecting on the amazing and wonderful people I have in my life… friends, business colleagues, healers, coaches, teachers, counselors, healers, and clients.  Which caused me to think back even further.  Who brought us together?  At one moment there was something magical and mystical that happened and I became connected to these people! 

Thankfully, we do not live in this world in isolation!  Without these powerful connectors who somehow brought these people to me, who knows where I’d be?  I am so very grateful for those moments of serendipity and synchronicities where bonds were formed and friendships made that might not otherwise ever come to be. 

Like this magnificent Banyan tree, together we grow strong and remain deeply rooted and connected to one another.  I intend to reach out and thank those people (the ones I can remember) who somehow brought me together with the people who matter so much in my world today. 

I invite you to do the same!  Who introduced you to your best friend or spouse?  Who brought you your first client?  Who told you about the most amazing massage therapist?  Who shared the name of a person who could support you and your child?  Take just a minute and give them a call, shoot them a text, or write them a note to let them know what a difference this has made in your life. 

Gratitude!  It’s a simple and under-utilized super power!

I am grateful for you and that somehow you found your way into this community.  

If you are a mom who has been impacted by your son or daughter's addiction or other mental health condition who is longing for some connection with other moms who've been there too, please join us for a special renewal retreat this coming weekend!  Starting the Year with Serenity begins on Friday and there are 2 spots left!  

The new year is almost upon us – that magical time that comes once a year when the whole world seems to celebrate the turning of the calendar – this new beginning.  A chance for a fresh start.  And, while we know that every moment offers the chance for a fresh start, let’s ride this wave of collective energy and mindfully enter into 2019 with vision, intention, and hope. 


​Let’s look back on 2018 and carry its wisdom and strength with us as we distance ourselves from the things that wear us down, slow us down, or stop us from fully living our lives. 

At this time of transition let’s reflect on the following questions.  I invite you to try some journaling or free writing to allow the deep inner wisdom to emerge.

1. In the past year, what really made me feel alive?  What stirred my passion?  What lit my inner flame?  What am I excited to remember?
2. What sorrows and losses did I experience this year?
3. What would I like to let go of as I step into 2019?  Beliefs, stories, habits, people, things… ?
4. Who do I want to be in this new year?  HOW do I want to be?  Is there an energy or quality that I feel carrying me toward this year?
5. What do I hope to bring to life, to create, and to enjoy in 2019?
6. What am I no longer willing to do or be in 2019? 
7. What is possible for me?  

As you reflect on these questions, what supports do you want to put in place this year that will nourish and uplift you?  Who would you like to have more time with?  Less time with?  Where are the places you long to go – places that fill your heart and soul?  And, what else?  What else arises for you as we gently say good-bye to 2018 and welcome ourselves into 2019 with love, compassion, curiosity, and tenderness? 

Dear one, I wish for you all that you can imagine to be possible!  And then some!  Here’s to a sweet new year!! 

If you are a mom who’s been impacted by your son’s or daughter’s addiction or other mental health conditions, I invite you to start the year with serenity.  Join me and a small group of moms in Rochester, NY at the beautiful Mercy Spirituality Center January 11-13 as we take time to be nourished and nurtured, to connect with our inner wisdom and guidance, and gift ourselves with a foundation of self-care and self-compassion.  Details and registration for Starting the Year with Serenity is here.  Now through December 31st, save $50 off your registration by entering coupon code “holiday” simply for being part of this community.  I would love for you to be part of this circle if this calls to you.