Blog Posts

What's YOUR Dream?

6/23/2018

Have you ever found yourself getting swept away in a grand vision or a big dream and suddenly you find yourself falling short?

It happened to me in the past month or so, and it surprised me. I know better, but I'm still easy prey. No matter how much I preach this and support others to NOT do it, I caught myself getting swept up in ambition that wasn’t mine. I was striving to do more, be more, make more, be like people I admire, and live up to what I think other people want for me or expect of me. And, I got really, really out of sorts.

Thankfully, in the wee early morning hours (as so often seems to be the time for these epiphanies!) I felt a clear “Stop! What are you doing!? Why are you making yourself crazy and beating yourself up? What’s true for your heart?”

Once I paused, I was able to recognize that what IS enough for me has nothing to do with reaching millions of people or making millions of dollars. What is enough for me is showing up fully to those I am graced to work with – to touch one life at a time. It’s enough for me to be able to give where I can. It’s enough for me to really appreciate the life we’ve created. My soul breathed a sigh of relief… There you are, she said. Thank goodness you’ve remembered. Settle down now...

It’s so easy to get swayed off course. So many outside voices gratuitously offering their thoughts on what we need and what we should do. Watching other people do what you thought you wanted to do and judging yourself as inferior. For me there was also a story running that went something like this… If you’re not going to have a big business, go on tour, speak to thousands, make a lot of money, then what has all this training,coaching, and retreating you’ve done to support you and your business been about? And, in that moment I unearthed this story that told me I needed to justify all that I’ve done in some way through my business results.

Then the inquiry to get at the deeper truth came pouring in… What if all of the work I’ve done has been to help me be better for myself, for my family, and for those who I am lucky enough to be able to serve? What if it fulfilled my insatiable curiosity and love of learning (and that’s OK)? What if what matters to me most is my family and my home and I no longer desire to go after a dream that would take me away from them a lot? What if it’s enough that 111 Invitations is rippling out slowly, naturally, and organically?

The truth is, for me, it is exactly enough for this moment in time. I am right where I want to be today. I am relieved to admit this to myself and to give myself permission to stop feeling like it’s not enough – that I need to push for more. For today, I’ve landed on what feels right on a deep, deep level. And, that gives me a ground to stand on and a newfound energy that inspires me. Instead of feeling discouraged, I feel alive and excited. Some of my dreams no longer fit, and for now I can drop the burden of carrying them any further.

What are YOUR dreams?

So, how about you? If you stopped trying to be what you thought you should be or what you thought someone else wanted you to be, what are YOUR dreams? Are there dreams you once held that no longer fit you? What would happen if you let them go or at least set them aside for now?

These answers will come from your heart, not your head. I invite you to take some quiet time, place a hand on your heart, and ask. Then listen. Jot down what you hear. And, listen some more. Allow insights to come to you unobstructed. This isn’t the time to edit or argue. Allow yourself to be surprised. See what lights you up from inside, brings you that sigh of relief when you let go of something that is no longer yours, or electrifies you with excitement.

You may find a new sense of energy and motivation that had gotten bogged down in the misdirected efforts of wandering a path that wasn’t meant for you. Lucky you! Now you know, and you can begin anew.

In our culture we are solidly conditioned that more and bigger are better. It’s just not necessarily true. We’ve been told to “dream big.” Hell, I’ve told people that for years, and I still believe it – the important piece is to discern and define what’s BIG for you! Big isn’t necessarily measured in dollars or numbers. Big impact can come through small actions.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~Steve Jobs

The truth is when you speak, act, and create from a place of deep integrity, being true to yourself, following the call of your heart and soul, you will find more peace and joy, and you WILL make a difference. Your being will be happy and fulfilled, and in that happiness and fulfillment, you will have a ripple effect you may not even be aware of! When you come from a place of authenticity, there’s no telling what surprises await. You just don’t have to try so hard to make things happen.

If you’d like to take time for this inner exploration, join us at one of my upcoming retreats. Part of the reason I’m so passionate about retreats is that they give us the gift of time and space to touch in with questions like this. While it is possible to sit with this type of inquiry on an average day, it’s much harder when we’re wrapped up in daily to-do’s, distractions, and demands. Stepping away for a bit, allows our nervous system to let down, quiets the outer noise, allows our hearts to open, and allows our intuition to speak.

If you enjoy writing prompts, you might play with some of these, taking a few minutes each and writing without stop to see what comes through:
- The parts of my dream that are alive and well right now are...
- I am willing to let go of...
- I'd love to bring in more...
- What really matters to me...
- What I appreciate about where I am right now is...

Please share your insights, wisdom, and reflections here - we learn and grow together!

3 Comments

3 Reasons to Retreat

6/10/2018

1 Comment

There was a day when I didn't know about retreats and how powerful they are and what a critical piece of my well-being they would become I imagine there are others out there who also wonder... who haven't yet discovered the magic of retreat. So, I'd like to share with you just a few great reasons to give yourself the gift of retreat, for however long you may take or in whatever form! What are some of the benefits and why would anyone make the investment of time and energy to retreat for a bit?

1. Get out of routine - there's great value in simply breaking the pattern of everyday life - of taking yourself out of your usual habits and routines. By changing things up, we tap into wonder and curiosity about life. We begin to open to new ideas, insights, and creativity. We open our eyes to new perspectives. We see new possibility that we hadn't considered before. We lighten up, let go, and even have fun!! When you break away from the daily routine, there is nothing to fix or figure out. Your mind can truly rest. Aaahhhh... to me, that alone is worth the price of admission!

2. Slow down - We live in a world where go, go, go, is the norm. Demands are coming fast and furious and we find ourselves pulled in so many directions with no relief in sight. Our pace is unsustainable and our to-do list never-ending. But, we don't know how to stop sometimes. This pace is taking a toll on our health and well-being. When we slow down, we calm our mind and soothe the nervous system. Then we notice the beauty of nature, our own body, people in our world. We have to step off the hamster wheel to be with these sweeter things.

3. Quiet the outer noise - Oh my goodness! There is so much coming at us all the time - news, ads, social media, political banter... it's an endless onslaught of noise, opinions, and provocations. You've noticed that, right? Just taking a media break for a brief period of time is super healing and restorative. Imagine room to breathe without your phone constantly pinging in your ear. Step away and feel the sigh of relief and the sense of peace. In this space we begin to listen to our hearts and souls and hear our own inner guidance.

We don't need more intensity - the world brings plenty of that. We don't need more things to do - we have more activities than we can keep up with already. Retreat is designed to be restorative and nourishing.

Why do you retreat? Please join the conversation in the comments and let us know! Together we grow and learn!

Does retreat sound good to you? If you like this sound of this and would love to join a circle of like-minded women who are ready for a little of this retreat sweetness, join us in the beautiful Poconos at the Himalayan Institute for Coming Home to Yourself: A Women's Renewal Retreat August 10-12.

At my retreats, everything is an invitation. You are free to rest as needed. Explore the 400 gorgeous acres as you commune with nature or give your body some movement among the trees and hills if that's your thing. Gather in our circle around the campfire. Check out a yoga class or meditation session. And, rest into a world of no expectation.

I hold our retreat space as safe and sacred - in this space you need only show up for yourself. You are free to participate in the way that's comfortable for you and you are free to share and listen knowing that this is a zone where these is no advising, no figuring out what anyone else "should" do, and no worry that anyone is going to tell you what you should do. This is a place and space to deepen your connection with yourself and to learn to honor yourself more deeply than ever before.

Questions? Let me know! Know someone who would love this? Please share this with them! And, if you're ready to jump onboard, you can register here!

"A women's retreat springs from and is about stepping out of your ordinary existence to listen and attune to your truest, most authentic self... It is setting apart time to tend the hearth of your inner life, feed your muse, reclaim your dreams." ~ Jennifer Louden, The Women's Retreat Book

1 Comment

Being There for Yourself

5/23/2018

3 Comments

Have you ever noticed that we will do ANYTHING for our kids, for our pets, our partner, our parents, our friends… ? You get the gist, right? If someone else needs us, we are there in a heartbeat, willing to do whatever it takes! We give and give. We sacrifice. We go above and beyond. For others. All. The. Time.

And, then something comes up that we’d like to do that costs a significant amount of money, requires a lot of time, or may involve travel away from our family. Our first response isn’t usually an automatic, “I’m in! Sign me up!” It’s hesitation… a pause… maybe even a complete stop and redirect to something more familiar and more comfortable.

I don’t have the time. The kids will need me. I’ve just spent $1000 on my dog’s surgery. We just spent thousands on doctors, sports, camps, counseling, and therapies of all sorts. Are you familiar with this dialogue that runs almost automatically through our heads?

What’s interesting to notice is that we didn’t stop to think for a minute where that money would come from or how we’d find the time for events and appointments for our loved ones. We knew we’d clear the calendar to be there for them – of course. It’s what we do. No question. No doubt. No other option.

Why is it we give so freely, quickly, and easily to everyone but ourselves?

Conditioning: We have been conditioned and taught for as long as we can remember that this is the way to be – when you are a kind, good, nice, and loving person, you are generous. You put others first. You do for others no matter what. It’s the right, honorable, and noble thing to do.

The problem is, we sometimes give and do beyond what’s sustainable. We may fail to even give ourselves the time and space to figure out what would fill us up emotionally, what would support us physically, what would nourish us mentally, and what would nurture us spiritually. We drain our tank and rather than refuel, we just put on our Super Woman cape, take flight, and keep on going.

Betty

Meet Betty – If you look closely at this picture, you can see her strength and determination. Yet, Betty was a woman who learned early in life to downplay her accomplishments, to avoid the limelight, to be everything for everyone, and to not believe in herself. You see, Betty was on track to be the class valedictorian in her high school in the late 1930’s (probably not common for a girl to hold this ranking). But, rather than eagerly prepare to take the stage at graduation, Betty intentionally failed some things so that she would not have to give that speech. She stepped back and let someone else take her place and her moment to shine.

In college, Betty was studying to be a teacher. One professor judged her to be a “shrinking violet,” something that was not desired in the profession. So, she quit college and became a secretary, taking very good care of her male bosses, no doubt.

She married and became the dutiful mother and housewife that she believed she should be, diligently studying and obeying The Good Wife’s Guide (we found this in her belongings after she died!). She cooked, cleaned, baked, hosted dinner parties, and took care of the kids. She ironed everything…including pillowcases and t-shirts!!

Her family’s joy was everything to her. She served her family and In many ways her husband was her master, dictating schedules, chores, etc… She lost touch with her own dreams and needs and withheld her anger, stuffing it in favor of the happy face she was supposed to plaster on. She didn’t complain and was perhaps the kindest, gentlest and most loving women I have ever known.

But she did not value herself. She did not believe in her capabilities or her intelligence.

And, though she should have been rewarded for this, instead she found herself alone to raise a pre-teen after her husband left her for another woman whom he found to be more adventurous and more intellectually stimulating. Despite doing “everything right” and sacrificing herself while giving 110% to her husband and five kids, it still wasn’t good enough. Thankfully, the divorce required her to find the courage to begin to listen to her dreams again, to put herself out there and travel and find a job that she loved and would happily work at into her 70’s!

Betty was my dear mama, and she is one of the main reasons I do the work I do today. I am determined to help women see their value, make themselves a priority, and claim their stake in this life – by choice, not by forced life circumstances.

And though these are different times, I see many Betty's still out there, I feel her shadow alive within me from time to time and I can hear her messages loud and clear– put others first; be nice; take good care of your husband so that he won’t leave you; and keep on doing more because it’s never good enough!

We carry our conditioning strongly within us, and we need support to break free and chart a new course. We need to know that it’s not selfish to take good care of ourselves, to make time for ourselves, and to honor our needs and desires. And, it doesn’t have to be done in a way that’s reactive, angry, or hurtful to anyone else. Done right, it benefits us as well as those we live with and interact with. We need to get to know ourselves well enough that we are able to honor and be our most authentic selves. It is possible! When we do that, the whole world benefits. This is a practice that asks us to revisit it every day, many times a day. Self-care is not self-indulgent… self-care is our lifeline. It’s what sustains us to be able to be kind, loving, and generous from a place of true well-being.

So, next time you find yourself hesitating about taking time, spending money, or making a commitment for yourself and you feel the automatic resistance kick in, I invite you to pause and give yourself permission to go for it.

It's OK to be happy. It's OK to have fun. It's possible to find peace

Being there for yourself...
When you notice you’re feeling drained, exhausted, or resentful, check in… have you been over-giving and over doing, thinking you have to always do more and be more? Then close your eyes, take a few breaths, and sincerely ask the wisest part of your being what you need in that moment. How depleted are you and what will it take to rejuvenate you? What would bring more joy into your life? What would cultivate more peace within? It’s ok to be happy. It’s ok to have fun. It’s possible to find peace. Let’s remember these things and take the oath my teacher, Renee Peterson Trudeau, taught me: “I will not abandon myself!”

How can you care for yourself today? Where will you NOT abandon yourself today?

3 Comments

Mom-life Identity Crisis by guest blogger, Dr. Rachel

5/4/2018

0 Comments

This post was originally posted on Dr. Rachel's blog at FitMama PDX

I have a dirty little secret...
Let me set the scene. This past weekend, I attended a continuing education course on body weight movement and strength training. I left the house bright and early both mornings, returning after 6pm both nights, leaving my husband to hang with our brood (Sierra 14, Jack 10 and Cooper 18 months).

It’s important to note that this is the longest single stretch that I had been away from Cooper since he was born, and that my husband gets a little flare of anxiety when left alone too long with what can only be described as an intensely energetic range of kiddos.

So, what’s the big secret?

I could feel the guilt mounting in the days leading up to the weekend. Should I take the time for myself? Should I see if I could bring the kids for some of the action so that the husband could get a break? Was I being selfish...all self-imposed guilt I might add.

And, here’s the part I really wasn't expecting.

When I rolled up at the end of my first day, exhausted and sweaty, I was shocked by my reaction. The day had been wonderful (for my family), filled with park time, successful nap time, and lots of ease. The house was even cleaner than I had left it that morning. So, why did I feel so damn sad? Instead of seeing this as a victory for all, I suddenly felt a panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was no longer needed...my mom-life identity was being threatened.

Who was I if not the person who could run the house smoothly, anticipate needs before they were stated, and soothe a grumpy toddler?

We’ve all heard the term empty nest syndrome, but what about full nest syndrome?

All my kids are still under one roof, needy as ever, and I have longed for more free time to work on my business, health, life...But, once I had successfully taken this time, I found myself unable to appreciate the foundation of safety and security that we’ve established as a family.

The capable, awesome humans who can thrive without my constant presence hasn’t filled me with pride. It has instead left me with a huge feeling of emptiness.

WTF?

Here’s what happened next. I let my younger self surface, throw a mini-temper tantrum (for my husband’s eyes only), made a few ridiculous comments about how I should just plan to go away every weekend, or move to Canada, cried a little, had a restless night of sleep, had my ah-ha moment and then started to get REALLY EXCITED.

Why I am subjecting you to this story? Because, that’s how it goes with a mom-life crisis. We have these opportunities to find our ah-ha moments no matter where we are on the journey. There will come a time when you will be confronted by your own identity. The Daughter, Mom, Wife, Lover, Entrepreneur...

We use these titles to help describe the people we are in the world, but they are not WHO WE ARE. This past weekend I thought I was a physician learning safe and effective movement strategies to enhance strength and mobility by day, and a mother and wife by night. But, after sitting in the uncomfortable muck of emotion that surfaced, and toning down my ego, I realized that I am a strong, capable woman who works hard every day to show up with integrity, who has the power to give life, kiss scraped knees, laugh, love and cry all in one day.

Take a step back and think about all the hats you wear, your different identities. Now think about the person underneath all of that, the one who had the will, stamina and fortitude to get you where you are today. That is who you are. That is the person who gets hidden, or lost when we start to pin ourselves to a single word.

It's about balancing the person you are with all the hats that you wear, and never being afraid to ask for help in accomplishing your goals. That means being willing to ask your community for what you really need, and being willing to invest resources into your own health and well-being - not spending everything you have on your kids and leaving yourself high and dry!

If you can relate to the idea of having a mom-life crisis, or you’ve ever found yourself floundering between what you think you should do, and what you know you want, I invite you to take a look at my One Page Wellness Consult over here. It’s my way of helping you find your footing. By taking simple, effective and efficient steps towards your health goals you become just a little more YOU.

0 Comments

What Will You Do with This Day?

5/1/2018

2 Comments

Your time and energy are precious and limited

There will always be more undone than done... in a day, a week, a quarter, a vacation, a lifetime... Once I truly got this deep down in my gut, it was a huge ah-ha moment!
It allowed me to get real about what's "enough!"

When we accept this reality, we get to choose in each moment how we want to spend our precious time and energy. We get to choose what is enough for us, moment to moment.

So today, how will you choose to spend your precious time? And can you be ok with letting the rest go for now? It is Sunday after all... and the sun might be shining! What would bring you sheer delight?
Go for it!! I am cheering you on with much love!

2 Comments

Self-Care… Where Everything else Begins

4/12/2018

0 Comments

I wasn’t introduced to the idea of self-care as a regular, ongoing, sustaining practice until 4 years ago… I was almost 50 years old! That’s a pretty long time to live without having any conscious awareness that it was vitally important to make my own wellbeing a priority.

A long time to go without thinking of self-care as anything other than an occasional massage or pedicure or anything beyond routine maintenance (brushing my teeth, exercising, eating well, or getting a haircut). A very long time to hold the belief that everyone else’s needs were more important than my own.

A long time to believe that self-care was luxurious – only for the rich and famous! Certainly not for someone who was a mom working full-time. Self-care was for those who could afford a spa weekend, a decadent vacation, indulgent time for getting away. Yes, this is honestly the belief I held as I think about it now. Wow!

Thankfully, in 2014 a friend invited me to a retreat with my now dear friend, mentor, and self-proclaimed self-care evangelist, Renee Trudeau. I don’t remember the title of the retreat and had never heard of Renee, but I do remember my heart skipping a beat and my breath catching in my throat as I took in the title of her book, The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate, and Re-Balance Your Life! Whoa!! So many powerful words in just one title…

Self-Renewal
What the heck is that??

Reclaim
Wait…what?? How is that possible? I’ve been known as my boys’ mom for 20 years now. Do I really have a life of my own out there waiting for me to reclaim it? Ooooohhhh… I wonder what might be out there in that vast unknown territory!

Rejuvenate
Yeah, I get that one, and I definitely need a little infusion of rejuvenation in this worn-out, exhausted body and soul! Sign me up!!

Re-Balance…
Balance?? What’s that? I’ve pretty much been trained and conditioned to believe that I am here for the sole purpose of taking care of others. Making sure my kids are happy, healthy, entertained, and well-socialized. Making sure the program I managed was also happy, healthy, and thriving – that the people who worked for me were taken care of and had the support they needed. Taking care of my mom since I was a teen…

These were pretty novel and foreign concepts that instantly awakened my heart with a deep yearning!

It is not an exaggeration to say that that weekend in January 2014 turned my life around completely, personally and professionally. Sitting in a circle of about 50 women, I saw that only a handful of us even knew it was OK for us to be there. Since then, I have committed my work to supporting others in making self-care part of daily living. We all need it.

Self-care is NOT:
Self-care is NOT one more thing on your to-do list.
Self-care is not something you can accomplish and check off your list!
Self-care is not even something you can master.

Self-care IS:
Self-care IS a practice. A practice that runs counter to our cultural conditioning. To take it on is not easy. To stay with it… even harder. Until you really have worked with it long enough that it’s truly integrated into your life, you cannot know how strongly this practice sustains you. You need to give it a go to see how it can carry you through your darkest times and most difficult struggles.

We, as women, truly believe that we are meant to be able to do it all. You know that old song, “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan…” Yeah, yeah, yeah… sure you can! Well, you probably can and you probably have. And, maybe it’s taking a toll on you today! This mindset has done a number on us, pushing us to do more, be more, and give more… endlessly. Even putting our own wellbeing at stake.

A Real-Life Example
Recently a friend (who is a very politically active working single mom of twins!) posted about giving herself the gift of some time off. She caught herself with this stretch of open time – time that could have been a great time to “get a lot done.” Her first response was to chastise herself for “wasting time taking care of herself.” Ouch!

Thankfully, she stopped herself and saw how often she tries to rationalize her self-care, believing she needs to defend it or deserve it in order to have it (after all, she truly does give so much to so many others!). She also realized that she did not need to justify, defend, or deserve it! She saw that self-care does not depend on worth, but that it is a critical need, just like breath. Hallelujah!

Self-care is our Birthright
You see, my friends, self-care is our birthright. It’s our obligation. After all, we’ve been given these bodies and these lives. We are here to make a contribution. If we don’t care for ourselves, who will? If we don’t care for our bodies and lives, how will we be able to show up for anything or anyone else? How can we possibly bring forth our gifts to make the world a better place if we are stressed out and depleted to the max??

It has to begin at home. With us caring for ourselves. Self-care means to know yourself well enough that you know what your needs and desires are.

Self-care is all about honoring yourself, at least as well you honor everyone else in your life, if not better.

Self-care requires time. Time to slow down. Time to quiet the outside noise. Time to be with yourself to listen to the inner wisdom and guidance of your heart, your soul, and your body. Can you imagine time better spent?

The Challenge?
We feel we don’t have time for this one vital piece of life! And yet, you can’t afford to not commit this time to yourself. Your health depends on it. Your joy depends on it. And, your legacy depends on it!

When you give yourself the gift of time and space, you can discern what works for you. You can discover YOUR way of doing things. Where are you called to serve? What is yours to do? What isn’t? What can you let go of that no longer serves or fulfills you? What boundaries do you want to set for your own wellbeing?

Please share with us how this lands for you. What might you try for the next few days or weeks? We’d love to hear your reflection and insight.

0 Comments

Just Pause...

2/19/2018

4 Comments

In the wake of another school shooting in the US, I didn’t know what to write this week. The shooting and the ensuing endless arguments of blame that came from it, along with round the clock news coverage, hit me hard. In the sadness, heartache, grief, and anger I’ve been feeling, I knew for sure that I didn’t want to jump over what might be stirring within you. I didn’t want to rush to find a silver lining or lesson or even try to be inspiring.

Then I realized what I could offer is one of the most powerful tools I have discovered. I could offer the power of the pause.

Pause. Stop. Breathe.

It’s here in this stillness you can find some clarity. Here you can find some grounding. Here you can tap your own intelligence and guidance.

A pause is powerful because it breaks the chain of reactivity. It stops the rapid fire keyboarding response to Facebook or twitter posts that have elevated your blood pressure to new heights.

A pause allows you to step back for a moment, to take a breath, and to remember who you are, what you stand for, and to decide what you want to say or do in any moment, particularly the heated ones.

A pause may open you up to new perspective, to new insight, or perhaps a willingness to listen to a differing point of view.

A pause allows you to respond or act more intelligently, more thoughtfully, more likely in a way that aligns with your values and your heart.

A pause breaks the cycle of reactivity. That is definitely something we could use these days. Fewer people launching themselves willy nilly into the spinning frenzy without first calming themselves down a bit - what would that be like?

A pause does not mean you will not speak out or you will not act. Nor does it mean you will not feel anger or sadness. But it greatly improves your chances of speaking and acting wisely. It improves the odds that you will connect with your compassionate heart.

Pause allows you time and space to feel what’s here in this moment. To grieve, to let the tears fall, to let your body ache with pain and sadness, to allow the anger to boil. To allow yourself to be overcome by emotion. Pausing is an act of kindness and compassion - for yourself and for others.

There is very little in life that requires an immediate response. We’ve only been mislead to believe that we need to jump right away. We act as if we do (I know this is a trap I have fallen into many times). Yet when we do, we often only add to the mess, rather than bring forth any sort of helpful dialogue or solution.

Before you take to the streets, pick up the phone, strike the keyboard, or open your mouth, give yourself and those you will interact with the gift of pause.

Whatever you are facing that gets your heart racing - a societal outrage, a problem with a loved one, a challenge at work, losing your job, getting a frightful diagnosis… allow yourself the grace of a pause. See what becomes possible when you do. You will most certainly see a little more clearly.

Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles
and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?”
- Lao Tzu

4 Comments

In This Moment...

1/29/2018

0 Comments

Go ahead, pause, breathe, and check in…
In this moment, what do you notice? What are you feeling, thinking, sensing in your body?

Taking a moment to tune in is one of the best ways to bring yourself into presence.

And bringing ourselves into presence is one of the best ways of stepping out of future worry or past regret. It’s one of the best ways to find peace that has nothing to do with anyone or anything outside of yourself.

“In this moment…” is a phrase that has supported me when I otherwise might slip into agitation or concern about something beyond my control. Perhaps “in this moment” has let me see that, in reality, there is very little within my control after all. But, in this moment, I can notice and appreciate what’s here. And let go of what’s out there, beyond my immediate reality.

“In this moment” has supported me and allowed me to surrender… to allow or acknowledge what is really happening rather than slipping into resistance or “it shouldn’t be this way!” (click here if you’d like to see my humorously sideways look at the idea of surrender). Only after I acknowledge what is true can I decide whether there is an action for me to take or not. It allows me to begin to choose how to act or respond accordingly.

“In this moment” deepens my gratitude practice. For example, even when there’s a storm raging outside, in this moment, I take the time to notice and appreciate that I am in a warm house with the love of my life, we are safe and sound, and I can breathe in gratitude for that. Even if there are a million things on my to-do list tugging at me (which there invariably are), if I’m at yoga class I can bring myself back to my practice and appreciate that I am taking the time to strengthen and care for myself.

Even when things are not be going the way I want in my life, I can pause and appreciate what’s here. I can almost always find something to be grateful for, no matter how much distress I’m in.

“In this moment” also allows me to focus on what’s before me right now. What task do I need to complete? (for me right now it’s writing this blog to get out to you!) One thing at a time… no multitasking. Being with what needs my full attention right now. Maybe making a note or two in my calendar for next things that I will get to when their time comes.

How might “in this moment” support you? Give it a try and let us know.

Pause – breathe – bring yourself into presence… what is truly here right now?

0 Comments

How Might Gratitude Support You?

11/22/2017

1 Comment

At this time of year gratitude and thankfulness are everywhere. So I have been reflecting on how gratitude serves us, particularly when times are tough.

Gratitude in times of Transition

Transition and change, whether they are wanted or not, are uncomfortable and challenging. They rock our world and throw us into unfamiliar and even more uncertain than usual territory. Recently having gone through a big move, I’ve had a chance to feel this earth-shattering reality, even though I was making a change I very much wanted.

One of the things that kept me grounded throughout the ups and downs of house buying and selling was my daily gratitude practice. Why? Because at times when I was irrationally terrified, it balanced my perspective with a look at the things that were at least all right in my daily life. It offset the natural human tendency to look at what’s wrong or anticipate the next disaster that might be lurking just around the corner.

When I was filled with excitement, joy, and eager anticipation, gratitude helped me to celebrate and take that in. As much as we have a tendency to notice the “negative,” we also often seem to be conditioned to downplay or dismiss “positive” moments. The pause of appreciative reflection allows us to take in and enjoy these happy moments.

What is Gratitude?

Gratitude is about noticing things we appreciate and coming into relationship with what IS. Sometimes we can even be grateful for fear, anger, or sadness because they reveal something to me that needs to be seen – they uncover a layer of reality. Gratitude isn’t always about sunshine and rainbows! It also isn’t about jumping over sad, angry or fearful feelings to get to a place of feeling good or looking for the silver lining. But, it can help open us to see beyond what’s right in front of us that may feel all-consuming.

How Can Gratitude Support Me?

So, how might gratitude support you if you are going through a transition? If you’ve recently lost a job or a relationship, and you’re not sure what lies ahead, it might be tough to see or feel anything positive. But if you were to take a few moments each day to find even the smallest thing to appreciate, it could shift not only your view of life but how you show up in life, to your family, and to the world at large (including to people you might be interviewing with or asking for support).

Research has shown that people who practice gratitude are healthier, have more optimism and happiness, create stronger relationships, and are more generous. These sound like traits of someone I’d want to be around (or hire!)… how about you?

What IS a Gratitude Practice?

What’s a gratitude practice look like? Whatever you want it to! The key is to not make it a big “to do” or one more thing to add to your list of tasks to complete. Find a way to bring in gratitude that feels supportive and nourishing for you. Different things work for different people. The first step is to slow down enough to even make the inquiry and notice what am I grateful for? If you’re not in the habit of thinking this way or asking yourself that question, it may take a while to shift from your regularly programmed thinking.

Here are some ideas to get you started. Maybe upon waking you reflect on a few things you are grateful for before you even get out of bed; this is a beautiful way to start your day and can really influence how you approach whatever is before you. You might want to keep a gratitude journal and jot down things you appreciate throughout the day. Perhaps what works for you is an evening reflection before bed. It’s a soothing bedtime routine and a great counter to the all too common thought that often creeps in that says “That day was a waste.” or “Wow, what a horrible day I had!” It doesn’t matter whether you write, mentally note, or speak out loud your gratitude as long as you’ve taken some time to notice and acknowledge it.

Even on some of my most horrible days, I’ve been able to find things that I am truly, honestly grateful for – the cleansing tears that allowed my broken heart to crack open a little bit more and relieved me of having to hold it together; having a pillow to scream into and punch when my anger consumed me; loud music and a good car scream; the friend who made me laugh even when I wanted to cry or the friend who simply sat with me and let me feel what I was feeling.

Don’t know where to get started? How about appreciating having clean air to breathe, fresh running water to drink, sunshine, a roof over your head, a fresh idea, or the beauty of birdsong. Don’t force it. Begin with what feels true to you. Notice something you truly do appreciate. Then mentally reflect, write it, draw it, paint it, sing it, share it with a loved one… whatever works for you!

If you’d like some practices to support you in cultivating gratitude, you might visit Greater Good In Action, where you will find several simple meditations and exercises to get you started or to enhance an existing practice.

Have fun exploring how gratitude might support you. Please let us know what you discover!!

1 Comment

Just a Little Light...

7/2/2017

0 Comments

I was asked to write about the theme of “just a little light” this month. So many possibilities arose of where I could take it… Let your light shine; Marianne Williiamson’s famous quote, “It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us;” what lights you up? lighten up; take a lighthearted approach; light vs. dark. So many choices.

What I landed on is a reflection of the light we all have within us – what my friend, Janet Rozzi, calls our “inner pilot light.” I love this image because it reminds me that even when we can’t feel it, there is always a flicker of a flame burning below the surface, just waiting to be ignited.

You know those moments of intense aliveness when you can feel the fire burning in your belly, lighting you up from inside with excitement, love, joy, or even anticipation?? We all have those from time to time, but if we were to try to sustain this level of intensity, we would burn out!

And, then there are the moments of darkness when we barely feel a spark at all. We feel as if we are lost in the shadows, unable to find our way out. Our light has dimmed to such a low level that its power does not fuel us or feed us in a palpable way.

For most of us, those experiences represent the extremes. Most of the time we are living more in a mid-range experience – not too hot, not too cold; not too bright, not too dark. And, therefore, we barely notice the light at all.

So, it’s a good practice to remember that this light is in there, guiding us through our days, shining a beacon of possibility into the dark hours. Take moments of quiet and stillness to tune into it, to feel the aliveness gently burning within. Meet yourself where you are and notice what you need.

Through gentle inquiry, ask yourself what it is that would fan the flames to stoke the fire of vitality? Just as fire needs oxygen to fuel its flames, often times with us, breath is the perfect life-bringing force. Simply begin with the breath. Notice the expansion throughout your body and the calming of your mind as you slowly and deeply breathe in and then exhale completely.

You can also notice what it is it that causes your light to darken or dim. What changes or choices could you make to bring more light, more brightness to your days?

Remembering that we are never in a static state of blissful brightness or eternal darkness helps us to remember that we have many choices. We begin with ourselves where we are and gently nurture whatever light is there.

If we’re feeling particularly dark, we remember that we have ways to bring that sparkle back. Sometimes simply by thinking of something or someone that brings us joy can bring a smile that radiates through the eyes. We’ve all seen the people who have a glistening sparkle in their eye, and we’ve each been that person at times. What is it we want to bring in or let go of to amp up the sparkle that begins deep in our core?

Marianne Williamson’s quote closes with these words: “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

How might we be the light and bring the light today? What difference could that make in the world?

0 Comments

<<Previous

Forward>>

About me...

I am a writer, coach, and teacher, and I love capturing life's many moments through writing, whether that be journalling, blogging, poetry, or essay. I have always found the written word as a natural way for me to express what lies within.

This is the space where we get real. I will write about my life experiences and things that I find my clients encounter in their daily lives.

What's real for you? What would you like me to write about? Feel free to share with me topics you would like to see discussed and please join in the dialogue through the comment section. Your engagement makes the blog a much richer place to hang out!

Thank you for joining me on this journey!!

What's YOUR Dream?

3 Reasons to Retreat

Being There for Yourself

Mom-life Identity Crisis by guest blogger, Dr. Rachel

What Will You Do with This Day?

Self-Care… Where Everything else Begins

Just Pause...

In This Moment...

How Might Gratitude Support You?

Just a Little Light...

About me...

Archives

Categories